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By Ross Bonaime, Morgan Day, Carly Loman, Farrah Skeiky, Jenn Tisdale, Brandon Wetherbee, Ashley Wright, Alan Zilberman, Stephanie Breijo, Svetlana Legetic, Cale

At the start of each month the BYT staff compiles a list of  things we’re PARTICULARLY looking forward to seeing, reading, eating, touching etc.  Our goal is for you to have the best possible month. This may help. -ed.

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Books

The Land of Steady Habits – Ted Thompson

“It’s not a stretch to say that this is the first great novel about post-crash American disillusionment, the flip side of The Wolf of Wall Street.” —David Daley, Salon/NY1

The Land of Steady Habits charts the coming-of-age experience of a 60-year-old man searching for freedom. This is not to be confused with a mid-life crisis void filled with a Corvette and a low-cut v-neck. Main character Anders Hill leaves his wife and children behind and flees to an apartment, only to later find himself reflecting on his decisions at a Christmas party with his ex-wife’s friends. Critics warn that both the comical and psychological aspects of the book are dangerous. You’ll find yourself questioning your marriage or yourself, but this is ultimately a literary path worth taking.

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Updike – Adam Bedgley – Svetlana

Renowned author John Updike died a mere five years ago, leaving behind his four “Rabbit” books and readers questioning why he couldn’t seem to shake the character of Harry “Rabbit” Angstrom.  Many critics compared The Land of Steady Habits to Updike’s Rabbit Run, highlighting our world’s fascination with the man that can’t stop running away from his responsibilities.  Bedgley provides a look into the life and writing of Updike, celebrating a writer that truly never wanted to be celebrated.

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Frog Music – Emma Donaghue

Donaghue (who last brought us the amazing “ROOM”) traces the story of a late 19th century murder during a raging small pox epidemic. She unravels the lives of the two main female characters, who were real, and broaches questions of power and sexuality.  Prostitution, circus performing, and murder all point towards an exciting plot line, but the underlying gender questions push the book further than surface entertainment.

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Comedy

Chelsea Peretti @ Black Cat May 2

Chelsea Peretti will be the first to tell you she’s one of the all-time greats. From writing on Parks & Recreation, guesting on some of the best episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! and now as one of the stars of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, she’s freaking everywhere. With two shows at the Black Cat this month, you’d be dumb to miss her. -Ross Bonaime

Sundress Fest @ The Wonderland Ballroom May 10

Dudes wearing dresses. What could be better than that? Well it’s the 10th anniversary of the festival which means a pig roast, karaoke, a dog sundress competition and a Mr. and Ms. Sundress. So shave your legs and join us. Bonus, I’m one of the judges this year! – Jenn Tisdale

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Comics

The Abominable Charles Christopher is the best web comic I’ve ever read. Then again, I haven’t read that many web comics, but I’m pretty sure it would still hold up if I had read all of them. It’s just so gorgeous and brilliant and perfect and funny and beautiful and touching and weird. And it features lots of cute talking animals. Now, being a web comic, you can read it for free all you want – but – if you want to hold it in your hands and put it on your shelf and touch the pages and impress the ladies and not have to do all that clicking around, you’ll want to pick it up in book form. Spending $40 on the hardcovers (while being really high quality products) is pretty steep tho. Luckily you can pre-order the new Vol 2 in softcover for only $19.95, and they start shipping May 12th (the softcover for Vol 1 is still available, which you should definitely start with if you’ve never read it). -Cale

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Box Brown’s highly anticipated comic book biography Andre The Giant: Life and Legend [] comes out this month. A book on the famous wrestler and Princess Bride movie star sounds great, but a comic book version sounds perfect. A lot of research went into this, and advance copies have been getting rave reviews. Sure, you can order it from Amazon on May 6th, but the cool kids will wait till May 31st for the Box Brown signing event at Big Planet Comics (DC location). You can also check out their podcast interview with Mr. Brown. -Cale

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And of course May 3rd is Free Comic Book Day. Besides free comics, participating stores will usually have other fun stuff going on. Check freecomicbookday.com for details and participating stores. I recommend the Brooke Allen signing event at Big Planet Comics in College Park 11am-1pm or Vienna 2pm-4pm. Brooke is a local artist who created the excellent A Home for Mr. Easter and has a new series Lumberjanes about girl power and camping and shit. Right on. -Cale

Drink

Drink Outside MORE – That goddamn rain is hopefully gone forever and it is time to spend more quality time with yourself, your friends and drinks OUTSIDE. Lucky for you, our 2014 OUTDOOR DRINKING GUIDE is here, and pretty amazing. From best happy hours to the best people watching to the best outdoor drinking DATE locations, it is all here.

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Tamarind Whiskey Punch @ Soi 38 – Most communal drinks come in a few forms: kegs, punch bowls, pitchers and the like. At Soi 38, ordering punch for the table means ordering whiskey in a teapot. The restaurant has a growing collection of intricate teapots that look almost too delicate to contain liquor, but the contents make for a very different afternoon tea. The tamarind whiskey punch contains syrups and juices made in house. The drink itself and the house-made ingredients can be credited to JP Caceres, the restaurant’s beverage director and DC’s biggest bartender crush. Naturally, in true tea time fashion, it’s served with a slice of lemon. -Farrah Skeiky
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Art

Friends with Benefits @ Contemporary Wing  (opens May 3rd) –Some of DC’s most beloved artists, including GAIA, Tim Conlon and Caitlin Cherry come together for a group show.

 Degas/Cassatt @ National Gallery of Art (May 11 through October 5) — From the National Gallery’s website: These two major figures of the impressionist movement shared a keen observer’s eye, as well as an openness to experimentation. With a focus on the critical period from the late 1870s through the mid-1880s when Degas and Cassatt were most closely allied, this exhibition brings together some 70 works in a variety of media to examine the fascinating artistic dialogue that developed between the two. (Image: Mary Cassatt, Child Picking a Fruit, 1893, oil on canvas, Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, Richmond, Gift of Ivor and Anne Massey. © Virginia Museum of Fine Arts. Photographer Travis Fullerton.)

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Pop Art Prints @ American Art Museum (now through August 31) — From the AAM’s websitePop Art Prints presents a selection of thirty-seven prints from the Smithsonian American Art Museum’s permanent collection. The installation includes works from primarily the 1960s by Allan D’Arcangelo, Jim Dine, Robert Indiana, Jasper Johns, Roy Lichtenstein, Claes Oldenburg, Mel Ramos, Robert Rauschenberg, James Rosenquist, Andy Warhol and Tom Wesselmann. The installation is part of a series that highlights objects from the museum’s collection that are rarely on public view. (Image: Roy Lichtenstein, Sweet Dreams, Baby! from the portfolio, 11 Pop Artists, Volume III, 1965.)

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 Fermata @ Artisphere (free opening reception May 8th) — From Artisphere’s websiteFermata is Artisphere’s first exhibition dedicated entirely to sound and the largest of its kind in the region to date. Featuring nearly 30 artists, Fermatatakes an expansive approach and is a celebration of individuals using sound in a variety of disciplines, from composer Ryuichi Sakamoto to NASA Kepler scientist Lucianne Walkowicz, (and BLUEBRAIN, in a long awaited DC return-ed). Centered around a wall of speakers designed by sound artist John Henry Blatter that will be used by all participants in the show, Fermata will unfold in three parts, or movements, each featuring a different combination of sound works that will cycle continuously for three or so weeks. (Image courtesy of Artisphere’s website.)

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Rineke Dijkstra: The Krazyhouse @ The Corcoran (now through June 15) — From The Corcoran website: This four-channel video installation was created at a dance club in Liverpoo, UK in 2009. Dijkstra met her five subjects on the dance floor, and then filmed them dancing and singing their choice of music in a special studio she fabricated in a back room of the club. Choice of dress, music, and dance in the videos seek to speak to the time and place they were filmed. (Image: Rineke Dijkstra, still from The Krazyhouse, Liverpool, UK, 2009. Four channel HD video-installation. 32 minutes. Courtesy of the artist and Marian Goodman Gallery, New York / Paris. © Rineke Dijkstra)

 

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Georgetown Spring Season Art Walk – May 2 – I grew up in Laguna Beach and spent the first Thursday of every month walking down PCH and dipping into random art galleries, mingling with quirky people and engorging free cheese. I was ecstatic when I heard that Georgetown has an art walk and so ready to relive one of my favorite pastimes. This will be my first time going and I’m definitely looking forward to the food, art, and (hopefully) lovely weather. -Morgan Day

From Bauhaus to Buenos Aires: Grete Stern and Horacio Coppola @ MoMA opens May 23 and runs through September 13, 2015 – Stern and Coppola are each pioneers of the avant-garde photo movement in their own right. Each creates/photographs/captures the surreal in a way I find nothing short of magical. With Gaugin and Polke exhibitions happening concurrently at the MoMA this month, this is certainly a trip worth making. -Carly Loman

Fandom

National Hamburger Month

This spot is usually reserved for cultural phenomenons based in television or film (Veronica Mars, Anchorman) that lead to catch phrases and large scale Internet movements. For May, it’s all about meat. Or not meat. Meat between buns. Or not meat between buns. May is National Burger Month. While this is a completely arbitrary designation, I’m embracing it. The burger is a superb food delivery system and not just for carnivores anymore. I will be celebrating at BGR and Black Squirrel and Red Derby and anywhere else that’s vegetarian friendly and meat friendly. Meat friends are the best friends. Meat is murder friends are OK friends. Here’s a photo that makes me a murderer. -Brandon Wetherbee

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Film

Before you do anything-check out our 2014 SPRING/SUMMER FILM GUIDE.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 released May 2

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 feels like it’s going to be the first Spider-Man film to really set this franchise up as a gigantic spectacle. First there’s a ton of villains – maybe too many – with Jamie Foxx as Electro, Dane DeHaan as the Green Goblin, Paul Giamatti as The Rhino, and the setting up of several more for the future (B.J. Novak as a villain? Alright, I’m in). Plus we get more of the impossibly adorable Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone pairing and continues Marc Webb’s following up (500) Days of Summer with a superhero series. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 looks like Webb throwing everything he can into one gigantic installment and who knows, maybe it could work. -Ross Bonaime

Neighbors released May 9

Whenever Nicholas Stoller directs a new comedy, I get incredibly excited. I’ve always loved his combination of interesting relationships and darker themes under the surface of insanely funny films like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Him to the Greek and the underrated The Five-Year Engagement. But Neighbors just looks downright brilliant. Just Seth Rogen vs. Zac Efron is enough for me to buy a ticket, but with a fantastic supporting cast and a fun premise, Neighbors seems likely to be the first great comedy of the summer. -Ross Bonaime

For No Good Reason released May 9th

This documentary, 15 years in the making, takes us inside the world of Ralph Steadman, maverick illustrator and collaborator/friend of the great, late Hunter S. Thompson. One of the more fascinating art careers aside, the fact that Johnny Depp serves as an anchor to the interviews and Richard E. Grant and Terry Gilliam (among others) pop up as themselves makes this one tripped out, gorgeously weird, darkly hilarious dinner party we’d love to attend. Read our interview with the directors HERE.- Svetlana Legetic

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Godzilla released May 16

For some reason, I keep hearing people say the new Godzilla looks like shit, to which I of course follow up by wanting to slap some sense into said person. I mean, Godzilla looks like the first Godzilla film since the original to truly continue the ideas the series started out with. Gareth Edwards’ first film Monsters was a great example of what he could do with a monster film, but then throw in Bryan Cranston and a top-notch cast trying to save the world from Godzilla and I don’t really see what could go wrong. Hopefully this will be the film to finally wash the bad taste of 1998’s disaster out of everyone’s mouth. -Ross Bonaime

X-Men: Days of Future Past released May 23

X-Men: Days of Future Past is sort of what I wanted The Avengers to be. Just far too many superheroes and crazy bullshit going on that it’s borderline insane. By combining the two X-Men film universes, this film is going to be packed with mutant-on-mutant action and probably the first decent Wolverine film in over a decade. -Ross Bonaime

A Million Ways to Die in the West released May 30

The more Seth MacFarlane material I watch, the more I dislike him, yet I just can’t stop. I feel like I’m one of a handful of people who didn’t love Ted and his constant attempts to be “edgy” come off as forced. Yet making a western parody with an apparent link to one of the greatest trilogies of all time, which I really don’t want to spoil, has me intrigued. Yes, in the first five minutes I’m sure he’ll make fun of Jews, since that’s in his wheelhouse, and completely destroy all interest I have, but I’ll give it a chance. -Ross Bonaime

Walk Of Shame – May Release Day TBD

Elizabeth Banks doesn’t get enough credit for being truly hilarious. But anyone who has seen Pitch Perfect or Our Idiot Brother knows the girl has chops. Now, she gets to show them off (while wearing a very tiny, very hot yellow dress) in a full-on comedy vehicle built around her. Don’t expect anything too ladylike from it though-title connotations aside, the director’s chair is occupied by Steven Brill (author of such high brow fare as Drillbit Taylor, Little Nicky and Mr. Deeds). Community’s Gillian Jacobs and BYT’s own comedy BFF Tig Notaro drop by to keep the funnies going too. – Svetlana Legetic

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Charlie Chaplin: The Tramp Turns 100 – at AFI Silver throughout May (starting in April, ending in June)

There is probably no filmmaker I love and respect more than Charlie Chaplin. If you’re like me or are completely unaware of Chaplin, The Tramp Turns 100 at the AFI Silver this month is a perfect event to get your fix. Some of the highlights include some of Chaplin’s greatest films like The Circus, Modern Times and City Lights to many of his shorts with live musical accompaniment. -Ross Bonaime

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Food

Brunch Away –Do only the best brunches this spring. For the purpose of this (and impressing your Mother on that inevitable Mother’s Day Brunch) please consult our 2014 BRUNCH GUIDE. It is everything you hoped for and more, we promise. From bottomless brunches, to patios, to something a lil’ different, we have you covered.

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Bar Pilar Spring Menu –I sampled the Bar Pilar spring menu over two weeks ago. I’m still wishing for their mortadella biscuit with duck egg every other morning. It’s not available in the morning. Bar Pilar opens at 5pm. This is good for both my cholesterol and my wallet. -Brandon Wetherbee

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Music

Palo Alto Soundtrack (out NOW digitally) – The Gia Coppola directed, based-on-a-James-Franco-short-story-collection movie (starring James Franco AND produced by James Franco) may have a little too much James Franco involvement, even for us, but the Dev Hynes/Blood Orange scored soundtrack is the perfect aural blanket to wrap your May ears in. Breezy yet moody, it is what your long lost teenager would want to bike around to in 2014. Trust us. Listen to the titular track here. -Svetlana

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Blue Note @ 75 – THROUGHOUT DC – “Blue Note @ 75 is a citywide celebration of the impact of Blue Note Records and the global reach of jazz. Organized by the German Historical Institute, the Goethe-Institut, the Kennedy Center, and the Library of Congress.” There is a photography exhibit, a fabulous concert at the Kennedy Center on May 11, and movies at the Goethe Institut. Probably the single classiest-yet-enjoyable musical event of the month (year?)

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The Horrors Luminous to be released May 5

Somehow, the Horrors have only become prettier over time. They went from psychedelic punk in their first few releases, occasionally garbled with overdone layers, to a completely different brand of psychedelia in 2011’s Skying. Now that they’ve found comfort in an almost futuristic strand of shoegaze, they’ve stepped up again to make it even more accessible to those who know nothing of shoegaze in the latest release, Luminous. Our fair city hasn’t been graced with their presence in quite some time, and we’re all dying to see how this entirely self-produced album is going to translate live, too. Instead of being fraught with outside influences that inspire such a jarring change between albums, Luminous gives a fair display of how the Horrors have found their own voice, devoid of familiar patterns and performing styles. We welcome the synth, we welcome the glittering instrumentation. -Farrah Skeiky

RL Grime @ Webster Hall May 6

I don’t care if RL Grime is “passe.” Dude’s music is fun to move to and a guaranteed good-time show. Be not too cool for school with me and see all y’all losers at Webster Hall. -Carly Loman

HAIM @ 9:30 Club May 7 and 8

Besides making great music, you should see HAIM for Bass Face. -Ross Bonaime

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R. Stevie Moore @ Baby’s All Right May 11

My first introduction to Sir Stevie was as an opening act in Boston for Real Estate. I nearly fell asleep during Real Estate’s set and I blame R. Stevie Moore (HE WAS SO MUCH BETTER). Basically, he is an incredible live act and someone I would suggest everyone check out at least once. I’d also imagine Baby’s All Right is pretty much the best venue to see him at (with the small and the intimate and the what-not) so I reiterate—this is not one to be missed. -Carly Loman

Chromeo White Women to be released May 12

Chromeo, the fantastic electrofunk dudes out of Montreal, hasn’t released an album since 2010’s Business Casual. This month sees the premiere of White Women, their fourth studio album. With songs featuring Toro y Moi, Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend, Pat Mahoney of LCD Soundsystem, and other big names, the album promises to be as danceable and clever as their previous work. Check out the singles released so far off the album: Jealous (I Ain’t With It), Come Alive, Sexy Socialite, and Over Your Shoulder have been on repeat in my car for weeks. The duo is playing shows in New York, Richmond (VA), and DC this month to promote the album. -Ashley Wright

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I Saved Latin! A Tribute to Wes Anderson to be released May 13

Wes Anderson’s films are always stacked with wonderful music choices, so it makes sense that there’s finally an album to praise that fact. I Saved Latin! A Tribute to Wes Anderson features new takes on favorites from Anderson’s filmography, such as Freelance Whale covering “Let Her Dance” from The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Juliana Hatfield taking on Elliot Smith’s “Needle in the Hay” and Telekinesis’ fantastic cover of The Kinks’ “This Time Tomorrow.” -Ross Bonaime

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SWANS @ Black Cat May 14

Admittedly I’m late to the party, but the prolific band fronted by Michael Gira and company is an experience to behold. Their 2012 album “The Seer” is a potent mix of punk, drone, and post-rock. Swans are known for their intense live shows – they deliberately turn off the air conditioning, for one thing – which only adds to experience of seeing them. This is the sort of concert you’ll want to see alone since you probably won’t be able to hold a conversation afterward anyway. Your ears will still be ringing, and their show is notoriously draining. -Alan Zilberman

The Pass & Pleasure Curses @ W – FREE

W hotel is now hosting free shows every month at their POV Lounge (check out #POVLive for ongoing updates) and the May one is as Spring ready as it is going to get. The Pass & Pleasure Curses bring perfectly hooky, slinky dance pop to one of the best views in town. Details below:

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Titus Andronicus @ Black Cat May 16

The ever touring, ever anthemic, and ever, ever poignant indie-punk fivesome return to D.C. this month to spit some harsh lifetruths you’d be a dummy to miss. Backed by three solid albums and a fire in their Jersey punk rock hearts, these guys put on a show that’ll keep you dancing, screaming along and sweating through their set, and probably your whole ride home. The enemy is everywhere but you’ll find like-minded friends among the crowd at Black Cat. -Stephanie Breijo

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Coldplay Ghost Stories to be released May 19

Let’s be honest here: when Chris Martin is single, he makes incredibly albums. Parachutes and A Rush of Blood to the Head are both brilliant. Yet anything that came after his marriage is pretty disappointing. Now yes, he was with Miss Paltrow during the recording of the band’s sixth album Ghost Stories, but I’m hoping that maybe one of that pain has seeped into this record. I guess what I’m saying is, I hope if Chris Martin’s going to be lonely, maybe we can get some good music out of it. Nobody said it was easy. -Ross Bonaime

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Ex-Cult have left their mark on the DC area every time they’ve stopped by. Between Black Cat, Sasha Lord Presents, and Unregistered Nurse Booking, they’ve hit all types of small rooms in support of other bands. This time, they’re headlining, which is where they should be. It’s hard to follow the Memphis quintet’s level of tenacity. And this time, they’ve got a Record Store Day release and new 10-song LP under their belt. The production’s a little cleaner and the songwriting is a little tighter, but everything else has remained deliciously furious. -Farrah Skeiky

Pains of Being Pure at Heart + Fear of Men @ RNR Hotel May 21st

As much as we are welcoming the return of Pains of Being Pure at Heart  (AND WE ARE! LOVE YOU GUYS!), this show is on this list because OMG you guys, how lovely is that Fear of Men record? A perfect combination of deep(est) feeling and light(est) melodies, it is just what the doctor ordered this Spring. Instead of me trying to speak about it some more – listen to DESCENT here:

Television

Louie returns May 5

Jesus, it’s been almost two years since the last episodes of Louie. That just seems wrong. Louie is the type of show that just gets better with age and with two years to work on this season, I can’t imagine Louie’s fourth season being anything by great, especially considering C.K. is one of the funniest men alive. -Ross Bonaime

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24: Live Another Day debuts May 5

I don’t know if we really needed Jack Bauer back after eight seasons, a TV movie and a four year absence, but he’s back and across the pond. 24: Live Another Day brings Kiefer Sutherland back to Fox after his terrible series Touch and makes him protect the world from yet another terrorist attack. This time though, there’s only 12 episodes. So, no idea why it’s not called 12 now. -Ross Bonaime

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Comedy Bang! Bang! returns May 8

When people were questioning who should take over for Letterman a few weeks ago, I was quite disappointed to not hear Scott Aukerman’s name thrown around, especially since he hosts one of the best talk shows on TV right now. Comedy Bang! Bang! is like Letterman sensibility thrown into Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, but even stranger. With some of the funniest people guest starring and a great writing team, it’s IFC’s funniest show (sorry, Portlandia). -Ross Bonaime

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Rosemary’s Baby debuts May 11

After Bates Motel and Hannibal, I guess just every horror film is up for grabs. Next up is Rosemary’s Baby, a miniseries based on the classic Roman Polanski film, now starring Zoe Saldana. Usually I wouldn’t have much faith in something like this, but considering how decent recent TV adaptations of films have been, this could turn out to be not that terrible. -Ross Bonaime

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Penny Dreadful debuts May 11

I can’t really tell from the Penny Dreadful commercials what it’s about exactly. I do know that it is steeped in scary goodness. It seems to be loosely based on all your favorite horror novels: Frankenstein, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and Dracula…maybe more. It does star Josh “Cowlick” Hartnett (now with less crazy hair) and Eva Green who you might remember from Casino Royale and/or Dark Shadows. Ever since American Horror Story we’ve seen such an explosion of horror in television and I couldn’t be more pleased. I have to believe a British show on Showtime will be executed wonderfully. Also WHAT IS GOING ON AT 1:09. Very excited. -Jenn Tisdale

Theater

Blue Man Group @ The National Theatre May 6 though 11

To quote Cale, BYT’s resident Blue Man Group afficionado: “The avant-garde performance art troupe the Blue Man Group has gone from a scrappy little off-Broadway theater in the early 90s to a pop culture phenomenon with million dollar special effects, Vegas shows, major label album releases, a 3D IMAX film due out this year, and world wide tours.  Yet, somehow, this has only made things better. You may think you’re too cool or something for Blue Man Group, but you’re not. Go see this show. Do it. It is one of the finest slices of entertainment you’ll ever see.”

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Cock @ Studio Theatre May 14 through June 22

If the name doesn’t make you want to see it, the fact that a love triangle with two men and a woman is involved should.

Cymbeline @ Folger’s Shakespeare Library May 28 through June 1

The Fiasco Theater (NYC based) is performing Cymbeline for a short few days. Cymbeline isn’t often performed and this theater is phenomenal. They’ve won numerous awards for this specific play and it’s a rarity to see it in DC, let alone at all. This play will make you like Shakespeare. -Morgan Day

A Gay Man’s Guide to Broadway – Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington May 18

The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington teams up with a Tony Award winner to sing some of the most famous Broadway tunes. There will be songs that you will know; songs that you can sing along to; songs that you will like. – Mackenzie Bailey

For more May shows, check out our Spring/Summer Theater Guide!!!!

Video Games

Watch Dogs to be released May 27

Some are calling Watch Dogs the first true next generation game and definitely one of the most anticipated games of 2014. Watch Dogs is like a futuristic Assassin’s Creed, where characters can hack the world around them. Just imagine Grand Theft Auto if you could control everything with electronics in it. Yeah, it’s gonna be pretty nuts/amazing. -Ross Bonaime

Mario Kart 8 to be released May 30

Great Wii U are few and far between, yet Mario Kart 8 looks like one of the system’s most exciting new games and one of the best games in the entire Mario Kart franchise. With a larger roster of characters than ever before, a shit ton of stages and Nintendo’s newfound interest in online play, Mario Kart 8 should be enough until the next great Nintendo game comes out god knows when. -Ross Bonaime

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