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At the start of each month the BYT staff compiles a list of  things we’re PARTICULARLY looking forward to seeing, reading, eating, touching etc.  Our goal is for you to have the best possible month. This may help. -ed.

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First things first: Celebrate the DC’s Growing DIY/DIT Art Scene  – this is how/where

Sometimes the culture of DC can feel like one of ingestion— the politics and the established institutions, the rising housing prices, the general inertia of the epicenter of political power of the Western world can make its citizens feel like passive recipients. Beneath the behemoth cultural importers of the Smithsonians, the Hirshorn and the National Portrait Gallery, however, a community of collaborative and resourceful artists are redefining DC’s cultural landscape. (read full article here)

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The Roof Garden Commission: Dan Graham with Günther Vogt @ Metropolitan Museum of Art opens June 1 and runs through November 3

It’s a pavilion made of glass and steel. It’s probably nice to look at, and it’s probably semi to moderately awe-inspiring. I just like things that happen of roofs. Especially when said roof is overlooking Central Park and attached to one of the greatest museums in the U.S. (Don’t bring a flask and spend a sunny day atop the Met. Don’t do it.) -Carly Loman

There Is Here – Avi Gupta @ Corcroan open now, artist talk June 4

For There is Here Gupta visited Bengali homes in Washington D.C and India to take photos of the food and living areas, focusing on the cultural cues in each household. One of the most thought provoking was the subseries Offerings, a collage of the food offerings he received in each house, providing a side-by-side image of porcelain, paper plates, and floral tablecloths. He spent anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour in each house depending on how immediate his visualizations were transformed into still shots. The people who owned the homes were typically chosen at random, and he asked the person whose house he was shooting at the time if they knew anyone else that would be willing to let him into their home. – Morgan Day (read full article here)

"Offerings" 25 photographs printed on a single sheet. by Avi Gupta.Avi Gupta, Offerings, 2011, archival pigment print, 57x38in. Image courtesy of the artist and the Corcoran Gallery of Art

Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Competition @ Kings Country Bar June 14

The human condition.
<3 -Carly Loman


Indelible: The Platinum Photographs of Larry McNeil and Will Wilson @ National Museum of The American Indian opening June 7

Indelible eminds us of the role platinum photographs played in late-19th- and early-20th-century representations of Native Americans. The exhbition further argues that McNeil and Wilson challenge this problematic history by integrating the process into their contemporary practice. Go behind the scenes of the show HERE. (image courtesy of NMAI)


  • NAMWA Nights  – National Museum of Women in the Arts is stepping up their event game and hosting mini after hours to celebrate their exhibit openings. First up: this Friday – celebrate the opening of Total Art: Contemporary Video with an open bar/food/fun and all sorts of other things you enjoy on Fridays after work. (image: Alex Prager, courtesy of NAMWA)



David Sedaris reading @ Housing Works Bookstore Cafe June 3

I’m not a big fan of Mr. Sedaris. BUT, whether you like his work or not, there is no denying that he’s a compelling character with an almost unmatched arsenal of “crazy” life experiences. Anyone interested in non-fiction is doing themselves a disservice by not attending. The opportunity to listen (and maybe even talk to) one of the most commercially successful modern-day American essayists is one that should not be missed. (So, like, don’t miss it.) -Carly Loman


Fourth of July Creek by Smith Henderson, available now

Sure, there’s acclaimed books that come out EVERY MONTH. But a debut novel by a guy you’ve never heard of before that is being hailed pretty universally as “THE.NEXT.GREAT.AMERICAN.NOVEL”? Well, we gotta read that, right? The story follows social worker Pete Snow (a man who, like most next.great.American.novel protagonists “drinks too much and cares too much”) as he embarks on a savior mission of Benjamin Pearl, a nearly feral boy living with his apocalypse anticipating, profoundly disturbed Father, Jeremiah. But much like with most next.great.American.novels the narrative is just a vehicle for a tale of morals, redemption, and hope, wherever we dare find it. -Svetlana


Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King available June 3

The plot for this one sounds a little iffy but in typical Stephen King fashion he’s managed to include an alcoholic in here somewhere, God bless him. This book seems to sort of capitalize on the bizarre rash of mass human tragedy that is constantly occurring in American in the form of a lone man who senselessly murders 8 people and injures 15 when he plows through a crowd in a stolen Mercedes. Thankfully the Mercedes isn’t alive and I’m sure this book will be good and bad in the way that all of King’s books are good and bad. We’ll see. -Jenn Tisdale


Hard Choices by Hillary Rodham Clinton available June 10

She spent four years as the Secretary of State, a job that is nearly as difficult, if not more so, than being the President. Now we get a unique insight from Secretary Clinton about that time and how her experiences will affect her future. As a woman and a fan I’m looking forward to this and am hoping it’s leading up to a 2016 run. -Jenn Tisdale

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The Fever: A Novel by Megan Abbot, available now

Last we heard from Megan Abbott the result was a delicious, pitch black, mean girls thriller DARE ME. Now, she is back with this tale of a family and community falling apart  after a young girl is struck with an unexpected seizure. Janet Maslin of the NY Times boldly announced that this is “the book to beat in the “Is It the Next “GONE GIRL” sweepstakes” and for our beach bag packing planning, that is more.than.enough of a recommendation. -Svetlana

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The Farm by Tom Rob Smith, available now

It is summer, so you’re going to need a good mystery to factor in for your pool reading. Lucky for you Tom Rob Smith, the author of the bestselling Child 44 (which is about to be released as one of the most anticipated movies of the LATE summer, Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Joel Kimmelman in the starring roles and all) is back with a he said/she said psychological thriller centering around a disappearance of a young girl in Sweden (of course) and a son who has to pick between the two sides of that story told to him by his Mother and Father. According to NY Times, this is a “a truly original and chilling thriller, which makes you ask yourself ‘who would I believe’?” and therefore, on top of the aforementioned THE FEVER, a strong “Gone Girl” throne successor competitor. -Svetlana

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My Salinger Year by Joanna Rakoff, available June 3rd 

Imagine being 23 (if you ARE 23, shut up). Imagine being 23 and somehow landing the job of an assistant to Salinger’s literary agent. Imagine that that job mainly entails answering his immense amounts of fan mail, in a manner that would make those recipients think they were getting a letter from the man himself. Now, imagine all the things that would entail and all the things that would do to your 23-year-old brain, a brain still in search of its own voice, a brain now balancing the voice of one of America’s greats with that struggle. Now, tell me you don’t want to read a book by the girl who went through all that, and emerged victorious. Yeah, you won’t tell me that. -Svetlana




In case you haven’t noticed, our Outdoor Drinking Guide for 2014 is live and jam-packed with useful info. It’s full of all our favorite outdoor drinking destinations from around the city because we (obviously) love drinking outdoors and know you do, too. However, sometimes just being outside isn’t enough. Sometimes you’d rather have a quality dopplebock than a fancy cocktail and toast your friends with a sloshing stein rather than a long-stem glass. For these occasions (which we hope are not infrequent in your life), we bring you this short, sweet guide to D.C. beer gardens. We’ll give you a peek at what’s open now and what’s coming soon. READ FULL LIST HERE.


Lyman’s Tavern now open

June 2 brought DC another reason to go to the Red Derby, their brand new neighbor Lyman’s Tavern. It feels like its from the Northwest (good thing), there’s an AC/DC pinball machine that has the face of the devil (good thing), the jukebox is not digital (good thing), the jukebox is well-curated (very good thing) and the afternoon sun pours through the windows. It’s going to become the neighborhood bar that helps you consider moving a little further north on 14th St NW. -Brandon Wetherbee




Free DC Outdoor Movie Season is HERE 

The Starks had it all too right: winter came. It came all over the District of Columbia. For many months. But now, let us look back on those cold days and rejoice! Spring has officially arrived, and with it includes all the sunshine, ball games, drinking on rooftops and outdoor movies we’ve come to expect. Prepare to start toting your blanket to the office along with as much cheese, hummus and cheap wine as is considered socially acceptable. We’ve got your definitive outdoor movie guide to help navigate your way through all the summer screenings.


AFI DOCS June 18-22

If you’re at all interested in documentaries than you have to check out AFI DOCS. Some of the films shown here go onto be picked up by HBO and other big studios and many go on to become the big documentaries of the year (last year they showed The Act of Killing, Blackfish, and Cutie and the Boxer, among others). The festival is spread all over over DC, this year you can check out the docs at the Newseum, the National Portrait Gallery, the National Museum of American History, and AFI Silver Theater. There are so many different interesting subjects and topics that even if you’re usually not interested in docs, you should check it out anyway.


The Sacrament in theaters June 4

Ti West’s The Sacrament has been doing the film festival circuit for almost a year now, but it’s finally being released in theaters (though it’s a really really limited release). While it hasn’t really been getting the best reviews, let’s face it, summer is made for horror movies so, I’ll take whatever I can get. The film follows Patrick (Kentucker Audley) as he meets up with his sister Caroline (Amy Seimetz) at Eden Parish, the commune she’s been staying at since leaving rehab. Eden Parish seems wonderful at first, but eventually things start to get weird (of course). Despite the lackluster reviews, I’m definitely checking it out. It’s got found footage (I know everyone is sick of this, but I will love it forever), cults, references to Jonestown (one of the creepiest cults there ever was), and an actor named Kentucker. I can’t imagine a better summer horror flick. – Kaylee Dugan

Obvious Child in theaters June 6

Obvious Child is the story of Donna (Jenny Slate), a young comedian in New York who’s experiencing the proverbial tailspin. Her boyfriend dumped her for her friend, and in a night of drunken debauchery she fucks a dude she meets at the bar. Then she gets pregnant. Obvious Child is about what happens afterward: there’s no doubt in her mind she wants an abortion, and her friends are all supportive without any judgment whatsoever. The only drama is how she reveals her secret to her family, as well as the dude at the bar. This is comedy at its most refreshing, and the only annoying thing about Obvious Child is that its plot should not feel so subversive. -Alan Zilberman


22 Jump Street in theaters June 13

Sequels can be dicey, especially a sequel to a movie based on a TV show I watched as a kid. 21 Jump Street the film, however, was HILARIOUS and since it was so loosely based on the show no one gave a shit if it had much to do with it at all. Will we see another Depp cameo in this one? God I hope so. Can I get a bit more Offerman in this one? Yes please. Regardless this trailer is already incredible…especially this Rob Riggle/Dave Franco gem at the end. -Jenn Tisdale

A Hard Day’s Night Criterion available beginning June 24

Criterion is always releasing great films in the best possible formats with the most incredible special features. Hell, already this year they’ve released 2013 Oscar winners, classics ranging from directors as varied as Francois Truffaut and Lars von Trier, and the year isn’t even halfway over. But maybe their most anticipated films this year is also one of the greatest comedies of all time: A Hard Day’s Night. It’s basically an excuse for The Beatles to perform songs and show how truly funny they are but man, does it work incredibly well. The release also features commentary, documentaries and simply some of the best music ever made. -Ross Bonaime



Grilling Season Is HERE

Be the best grill master (and grill guest) you can be  – with pro tips from our friends at RED APRON, PORN BURGER, GRILLWORKS and more. From the finest recipes to proper grill party etiquette, we have you covered. DIG IN for a full story here:


Slow Supper with Brooklyn Brewery June 6

The ubiquitous micro-brewery is offering a five-course meal with beer pairings, and the event is at a secret location. It’s no surprise the event sold out so quickly. -Alan Zilberman


Sunday Supper 2014 June 8

Union Market is hosting its third annual Sunday Supper, a family-style meal prepared by an all-star cast of chefs including Iron Chef’s Jose Garces, Oprah’s ex-personal chef Art Smith, and more. Eat well and feel good about yourself — all proceeds from the event will go towards both the Good Food Merchants Guild and a James Beard scholarship. -Ashlyn Frassinelli

Fit Foodie 5k June 20 – 22

Love to eat? Love to run? Love to eat while running? If you’re talented you can do both at once at the Fit Foodie 5k, hosted by Cooking Light and Health magazines. Tickets for the run include a post-event food and wine tasting with lots of giveaways. -Ashlyn Frassinelli

22nd Annual Safeway Barbecue Battle June 21-22

Check out this two-day meatfest featuring the nation’s best barbecuers, all competing for the title of National Barbecue Champion. Eat free samples, watch cooking demonstrations, and listen to live music playing throughout the day. Order tickets online for $12 or get them at the door for $15. -Ashlyn Frassinelli

and last but not least:

peruse our DC AREA GUIDE TO FARMERS MARKETS right here.



By Cale

The new LEGO June 2014 Store Calendar is here and OMG it’s a good one.

1) The LEGO Cuusoo series, now apparently renamed Ideas, is where users can submit models for new LEGO sets, and if they get enough votes, like the recent Back to the Future DeLorean, they might actually get made officially. Available June 1st is the latest in the series, the Ghostbusters Ecto-1, priced at $49.99. RIP Harold Ramis!


2) The LEGO Movie was originally going to be released on Bluray in August, but has now been bumped up to June 17th. The LEGO Movie is the greatest movie ever built. Look for the Everything is Awesome edition which includes an exclusive Vitruvius minifig.


3) …and with the LEGO Movie release date getting bumped up, so is the highly anticipated Benny’s Spaceship Spaceship SPACESHIP!, featuring all the glorious retro space LEGO parts from the 80s, a bunch of minifigures, and an extra police cruiser. Second only to the epic MetalBeard’s Sea Cow for best LEGO Movie set to date.


4) This months free set (with $75 purchase) is the surprisingly complex Balloon Cart set.


Despite the balloons looking like Blow Pops, it’s pretty great, and is an obvious incentive to buy the epic new Creator set: Fairground Mixer


5) And finally, the 4th (and maybe last?) Minecraft Microworld set arrives – The End. I never played Minecraft enough to get to this place, but that will not stop me from getting it as it will looks super cool alongside The Nether set released last year.


Apparently LEGO is cooking up some full size Minecraft sets, but I think I’ll always prefer the Micro World, but maybe that’s just because of my childhood obsession with the Star Wars Micro Collection from the 80s. Sometimes smaller is better.



First things first: WHAT WILL BE THE SONG OF THE SUMMER? We place our bets here (+ revisit some evergreen hits for good measure too). Let us know what you think.



Fucked Up Glass Boys released June 3

Fucked Up’s last album David Comes to Life was one of the best albums of 2011, with their punk-rock opera that was both exciting and nonsensical. Glass Boys seems to be the band getting back to its loud-as-hell hardcore sound, without any unifying story and that’s totally cool as long as it gives us more great Fucked Up music. -Ross Bonaime

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In a recent piece for The Talkhouse, Hamilton Leithauser cataloged all the  ailments he endured as frontman of the beloved Walkmen: Machine Gunner’s Ear from consistent, close exposure to Fender Twin amplifiers;, lung damage from a poorly ventilated Lollapalooza after-party; a facial scarring from a pint glass to the face; polyps in his throat, presumably from screaming his face off every night for months at a time. And that’s just the physical stuff. There’s also his “black terror,” an “acknowledgement of unavoidable defeat,” the “staring into some sort of infinity.” All in all, it’s pretty devastating stuff, but as a preface to his solo debut, Black Hours, it’s a bit of a red herring: This is not a tough record to enjoy. In fact, front to back, it is the most immediately gratifying LP he’s ever made. Even when things get heavy – “I retired from my war / No one knows what I was fighting for / I don’t even know myself anymore,” he sings on “I Retired” – there’s a buoyancy to the music, which draws from across American landscape (country & western; big band orchestration; doo-wop; polyrhythmic Latin). Credit goes in part to his choice collaborators, most notably studio whiz Richard Swift, in addition to Vampire Weekend’s Rostam Batmanglij, and the Walkmen’s Paul Maroon. But, ultimately, it comes down to that voice, and as long as he’s using it, you should be listening. -Phil Runco

On Sunbathing Animal, Parquet Courts swallows the entirety of early 90s indie rock and spits it back in our faces with a smirk. There’s plenty of Velvet Underground in the mix too – in the patient ways these songs stretch and the deadpan of singer Andrew Savages’ voice. As for what he’s actually saying, well that’s going to take all summer to unpack. -Phil Runco

8504710191_6b0e03afe6_zGold-Bears Dalliance released  June 3Gold-Bears’ sophomore LP, Dalliance, comes at you like a spider monkey, with fuzzed out guitars and upside-the-head drumming and sticky hooks and so many feelings. Oh, the feelings. Just when I think that I’m too old for this shit, a record like this comes along, letting me know that, no, I am not. Not by a long shot. Dalliance is what I loved about Saturday Looks Good to Me and Yo La Tengo records at their most cathartic, condensed to 32 minutes. “You’re way too old to be unhappy like this forever,” Emma Cooper sings on call-to-arms opener “Yeah, Tonight”. A valid point, sure, but when it hurts this good, I’m hitting the emotional snooze button. -Phil Runco


The Everymen @ Velvet Lounge June 6

High-flying New Jersey shit-kickers The Everymen are not to be missed when they visit town. The sweaty hug of a rock ‘n’ roll band rolls nine members deep, and save the occasional ballad, every one of them is laying it on the line every moment of every song. It is a sight and sound to behold. And this has always been the case. But with the collective’s recently released Givin’ Up on Free Jazz, the chops and range of the Everymen’s songwriting has caught up with the fervor of its live show.  Which is saying a lot. Whether channeling the Ronettes (“Fingers Crossed”) or the Boss (“A Girl Named Lou Pt. 2”“Ain’t Good Enough for You”), or blazing a path of its own (towering centerpiece “A Thousand Miles”), you won’t find a more infectious – or heartfelt – 38 minutes of wax this year.  Sometimes the good guys do win. -Phil Runco

Phoenix @ Echostage June 7

At last year’s Sweetlife, Phoenix ended the night with an incredible spectacle that made it clear that in just a few years, they had become a deserving festival closer. Still touring of the same album Entertainment!, Phoenix are finally the stars they always deserved to be and their kicking ass on bigger stages needs to continue for as long as possible. -Ross Bonaime

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Jack White Lazaretto released June 10

I haven’t truly loved a Jack White album since Elephant with The White Stripes, yet every time he does something new, I’m still cross my fingers that it’ll be the next White album I love. Blunderbuss was fine, but felt a bit rushed for me. Considering that the first single off his second solo album Lazaretto was literally recorded, pressed and released in 24 hours, I imagine this one might be rushed too. But regardless if I still haven’t found what I’m looking for, White is one of the most exciting musicians today and Lazaretto will surely be worth checking out. -Ross Bonaime


Jeff Tweedy @ The Lincoln Theatre June 10

Between now being a character on Parks and Recreation and now a US tour, Jeff Tweedy is having a pretty great 2014. It’s been three years since we’ve heard new music from Wilco, so maybe when Tweedy comes to Lincoln Theatre, he’ll give us a taste of where the band is headed next, or maybe we’ll just get some great Wilco and Tweedy songs. Either way, everyone wins. -Ross Bonaime


Having covered DC music (and acts coming to DC) for the better part of six years, the week of June 13th-20th reminds me of the “old days,” when as an eager blogger I was usually out five nights a week covering anything and everything I could get my eyes and ears near. With a festival, go-go spectacular, EDM superstar in town, as well as punk, rap, indie rock and a festival with global intrigue all taking place in a seven day period, this is easily one of the best June weeks…well…ever. -Marcus Dowling

Honest Haloway @ Rock and Roll Hotel June 13

If looking locally and wanting a spirited and upbeat single to get you through the summer, there may be no better option than DC trio Honest Haloway’s “Eyes on Me.” This isn’t your mother’s indie pop act, though. Intense 2013 single “Psycho Bitch” featured a video that centered around a wild and sensual night a house party gone too far. June 13th is the band’s single release show and certainly should be worth the time and effort to head out to Rock and Roll Hotel. -Marcus Dowling


Union BBQ @ Union Market June 15

If counting, that’s now TWO big-time EDM-style festivals in DC these days (August 23rd is Trillectro now at the RFK Stadium parking lot). Union BBQ features the two things DC’s truly doing on a world-class level these days – dance music and food – for a big time event. If aware of, yet still tepid on the idea of “EDM festival mania,” Union BBQ is a great foray into the shallow end of the bass and vibe pool.

The event’s lineup is based around breezy vibes and pop friendly sounds. Come for Jamie XX and Kaytranada. Jamie XX is well, from The XX, your favorite hipster’s favorite band. As for Kaytranada, whether he’s remixing Pharrell’s “Happy” or producing beats on Mobb Deep’s latest album, his energy is funky and progressive. More classic rap than a trapped out night at Echostage, he’s a star on the rise. Insofar as staying, check out the Moombahton Massive crew including DC-area natives Nadastrom, Tittsworth and Jen Lasher. DJ Sabo has roots in St. Marry’s County as well, and his deep house meets dancehall vibes are renowned worldwide. Me, I’m probably most looking forward to kicking it with the Blisspop crew and eat an old school U Hall PHO DOG (or three). Yeah, I said it…there’s that. And they’re amazing. -Marcus Dowling

A-Trak @ 9:30 Club June 19

Now that Swedish House Mafia are no longer making festival and top 40 radio hits, my new “absolute favorite act in all of the world of dance music” is Fools’ Gold Records co-founder A-Trak and 90s house maestro Armand van Helden’s paring as Duck Sauce. No, van Helden won’t be there on June 19th, but A-Trak – the teenage DMC champion turned co-producer of Duck Sauce’s mega hit “Barbra Streisand” – certainly will. One of that vaunted class of DJ that has that envious task of making six-figure payouts for 90 minutes of work in Vegas, he definitely doesn’t just push play and drop the bass. There will be cutting, scratching and a plethora of hits (both Duck Sauce’s and otherwise).

The key to this tour is that the first half of his three hour set will include the bright lights, lasers and stage show we’ve come to expect from “EDM.” The second half? He’s apparently going to turn up the house lights a bit and jam, playing whatever suits his mood. Given that he’s been in the studio making rap songs with legendary trap producer Lex Luger as the “Low Pros” and is responsible for Just Blaze co-produced track “Dipshits,”-  which does nothing short of reuniting Cam’rom with the Dipset – the idea of a “relaxed, open format set” could mean everything from disco breaks to dubstep to yes, “Dipset Anthem.” It should be quite the night. -Marcus Dowling

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Trina and the Backyard Band @ Howard Theatre June 20

Anybody that fears that they could be called a “DC gentrifier” should hop on their Bikeshare bike, grab a bite to eat at Trader Joe’s, then head due east to the Howard Theatre for this showcase. As a native Washingtonian, I can state that just being able to namedrop having seen the  Backyard Band gets you enough cool points to save getting a side eye in your neighborhood for petitioning for a dog park in your neighborhood.

Anwan “Big G” Glover is the group’s lead talker (loosely meaning, “rapper”) and was a star of HBO’s The Wire. Wale borrowed the hook for “Pretty Girls” from the band’s song of the same name, and, yeah…“Thug Passion”is an East of the (Anacostia) River anthem. That, alongside, Miami-based turn of the 21st century popular rapper, Trina, of “Pull Over” fame? This night will be a booty-dropping and twerk-tacular mess. In other words, a must attend evening. -Marcus Dowling

Total Control Typical System released June 24

If you ever see Total Control’s second LP, Typical System, at end of alleyway, do not proceed towards it. Turn around. Run. This is serrated post-punk and it’s lunging at for your throat. This is not a band that fucks around. Here are the album’s first four songs: “Bloody Glass”, “Expensive Dog”, “Flesh War” and “Systematic Fuck”. I repeat: SYSTEMATIC FUCK. Get the idea? And while frontman Mikey Young leads a number of projects – UV Race, Eddy Current Suppression Ring, Lace Curtain –  Total Control is the one where he throws everything and the kitchen sink at a record. The result is an exhilarating ride, one that snakes and jerks in a different direction with each song. You’ve been warned. -Phil Runco



Traditionally, June is a very good BYT party month. So, see you all at these two pretty epic occasions on June 6th and 13th? (that was a trick question, OBVIOUSLY we will see you there)

BYT & Capitol Pride Present: BLAST OFF @ DOCK 5, June 6th feat. BIG FREEDIA, DDm, Willam, CTRL DJs and so much more. Our full (space) photo preview is HERE and tickets can be gotten here.


BYT presents: Nat Geo After Hours, June 13th – our annual take-over of the National Geographic campus this year features Penguin Prison! Party Supplies! Explorer Talks! Axel F! Total and complete access to all of the museum! Really, really good looking people! and more. Get those tickets here.



Look, I realize that the World Cup is pretty bleak re: political turmoil this go-round, and if I knew how to go back in time and prevent anyone from ever thinking it’d be a good idea to host the event in Brazil I would. BUT, seeing as I lack magical powers (so far, anyway), and seeing as how soccer is the only sport (besides tennis) that I enjoy watching, I, for one, am still going to look HELLA forward to the kickoff on June 12th.
Apart from my aforementioned affinity for soccer, I’m a pretty big fan of bothering people with vuvuzela sounds whilst imbibing at all times of the day, which is exactly what will be happening from mid-June to mid-July provided we know where to party. (In other words, HURRY UP AND GET HERE, WORLD CUP.)
Now, we may not end up spectating together (in part because I will be out of the country for the second half of the WC), but do know that if and when Argentina loses, I will be crying in public just like I did last time. (Only then it was at the Capitol Skyline and I was in a room full of ecstatic German tourists and it was the worst.)
Anyway, stay tuned for a guide to watching the matches (we should have that for you next week, at least in NYC), and TELL ME WHO YOU’RE ROOTING FOR IN THE COMMENTS BECAUSE I KNOW IT’S NOT AMERICA. -Megan Burns

Congressional Baseball Game @ Nationals Park June 25

I own a Rand Paul baseball card. I did not make this baseball card at a nearby Staples because my political beliefs tell me to make baseball cards. I own a Rand Paul baseball card because every year members of the House and the Senate take the field at Nationals Park and play each other for charity. It’s absurd. Everyone wins. I own a Rand Paul baseball card and so can you! The perfect event for the person that enjoys old timey uniforms, relatively cold beer and the outdoors. A love of America’s Pastime is not required. Here’s a photo of my Rand Paul baseball card. -Brandon Wetherbee



Halt and Catch Fire premiered June 1 on AMC

With the recent conclusion of Breaking Bad and the upcoming finale to Mad Men, AMC needs to find quality shows outside of the The Walking Dead and Better Call Saul. Halt and Catch Fire might be exactly what the network needs, showcasing the rise of computer technology in the 80s and the Silicon Valley culture. Hopefully this’ll be one AMC show where new computers don’t make people cut off their nipples… -Ross Bonaime

Swamp Murders season 2 premieres June 3

If you don’t know what Investigation Discovery is, or you’ve never seen me do stand up, let me break it down for you. It’s a channel devoted entirely to true crime, mostly murder with the occasional failed kidnapping attempt (yawn). And how can you organize murders when there are so many? You gotta find a theme, and the theme of this show is people whose bodies were left in swamps. What. You read this correctly. Most of it takes place in Louisiana so we can all pretend each half hour episode is an offshoot of True Detective season 1. -Jenn Tisdale


Orange Is The New Black season 2 premieres on June 6

I’ve never wanted to go back to jail more than I do with the season 2 premiere of OITNB. Yes, it’s disappointing that Laura Prepone will not be returning but I’m dying to see how they will write her off for most of the season. There are only 2 ways to leave jail, walking or in a body bag. Since we’ve already heard she’ll be back for season 3 I’m going to assume she’ll be in solitary for most of this season. It doesn’t matter. I can’t wait to see what’s going on with a new ass-kicking Piper and everyone’s favorite Crazy Eyes. -Jenn Tisdale

True Blood season 7 premieres June 22

Well it’s the last damn season of True Blood and while I understand all good things must come to an end I’m not quite ready to let go of a world where vampires, shifters and faeries can mostly co-exist. If memory serves the final episode of season 6 was super weird with Sam suddenly becoming the Mayor of Bon Temps. Humans and vampires were living in harmony. Shifters were out in the open I think? And humans were being paired up with vampires to become blood donors because there was no more True Blood available. What a goddamn shit storm. At the end of the day I think most of us can agree that…Alexander Skarsgaard. Yup. -Jenn Tisdale


The Leftovers premieres June 29

Coming off the runaway success of True Detective, HBO has large shoes to fill with their latest mysterious drama The Leftovers. Yet if you want intrigue and confusion, there’s no better person to go to than Damon Lindelof of Lost fame, who helped adapt Tom Perotta’s novel about a rapture that may or may not be the actual rapture. The Leftovers looks like one of the most promising series debuts of the summer. -Ross Bonaime


The Witches of East End season 2 premieres June 29

Lifetime is really killing it with their original programming. If you somehow missed their Flowers in the Attic miniseries you should get on that. Now this show is a little bit cheesy, or a lot cheesy, but I will always fall prey to powerful women with super powers in any way whether they be mutants, superheroes, vampire slayers or witches. These particular witches are from another dimension if you will and when we last left our witches a tear between the worlds had occurred. Oh I can’t wait to see what happens, and in which world! -Jenn Tisdale


Private Lives @ Shakespeare Theatre Company through July 13

A funny play about a divorce. But seriously, a couple gets divorced then ends up in hotel rooms right next to each other. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? It’s a love thing, but it’s a funny love thing so boys shouldn’t hate it. -Mackenzie Bailey


The Totalitarians @ Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company through June 29

This is some real House of Cards shit right here: a wife is trying to get her husband elected/promoted as a politician. She finds the perfect campaign slogan, but it’s trite and meaningles. Which, obviously, will raise some extremely existential questions about the morality/value of politics. -Morgan Baskin

Killer Joe @ DCAC June 5

The first play by Tony Award and Pulitzer Prize winning author of August: Osage County, Tracy Letts is a down and dirty story about trashy characters held captive by their circumstances and the perfect country fried treat for the summer.

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Cloak & Dagger @ Signature Theatre June 12 to July 6

It’s a clever satirization of standard crime/mystery plays that features four actors playing twenty characters, one of whom races through every single neighborhood in New York on his whodunit quest. If you like ’50s film noir, this one’s for you. -Morgan Baskin

Side Show @ Kennedy Center June 14 to July 13

Probably the biggest musical must-see of the month, this Bill Condon directed re-make of the classic musical follows the conjoined twins Violet and Daisy as they embark on a heartbreaking journey of a life never-not-in-the-spotlight


One Night with Janis Joplin @ Arena Stage June 21 to August 11

It takes the woman who plays Joplin over a hour to get into character–and she takes her role incredibly seriously. Expect to hear classics like “Summertime,” “Piece of My Heart,” and “Mercedes-Benz” in the style of Joplin’s signature howl. -Morgan Baskin

Disney’s The Lion King @ The Kennedy Center June 17-August 17

Disney’s throwing it back to 1994 for this one, bringing back the 6-time Tony award-winning theater spectacular The Lion King. Emotionally prepare yourself for the Elton John-influenced costume goodness and, obv, “The Circle of Life.” Kleenex suggested. -Morgan Baskin