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Hey there kids. Sorry for the lateness. I’ve been mourning the fabulous actress and activist, Miss Elizabeth Taylor. A fond farewell to a true queen.

Sigh. But Elizabeth would want us to move on with our lives, so let’s do that, yes? This week’s mini challenge is a rousing game of Rusical Chairs. The girls dance, prance, and spin their way around the chairs, and the girl left standing has to finish the last line of whatever RuPaul song is blaring through the speakers. The girls morph into a blur of queens in heels.

Manila wins the challenge. Then Ru brings out Jeffrey Moran, the Absolut Vodka Czar—oh hey, drinks!

Jeffrey tells the girls that they need to let their personalities shine through and show the world what it means to be a part of the RPDR family and a part of Absolut. For their main challenge, the girls will record solos of Ru’s new song, Superstar, but each girl will record the song in a different musical genre. The girls will also lipsync to their recordings in front of a live audience. Manila gets to choose her genre first, and then she decides the order of choosing for the rest of the girls. Ooh, she lets Yara and Alexis choose their genres before Carmen. “What happened to the Heathers?” Carmen thinks that Manila is trying to sabotage her.

The unimpressive guest judges this week are Jody Watley and Carmen Electra. The girls will be working with music producer Lucien Piane. Alexis is smitten in the studio.

Here’s the rundown:

Manila chooses disco as her genre. She does a decent singing job, but has some difficulty with the high notes. During her live performance, Manila gives “soul train realness” but forgets to lipsync some of the lyrics and is a bit too grabby with the audience. The judges love her look, so she’s safe this week. Damn it!

Not surprisingly, Raja chooses punk as her genre. “I’m gonna go balls to the wall.” “I really want to embody punk as a philosophy and a movement.” Her voice is wayyyyy deep in the studio, but the judges love her look and attitude during the live performance. Carmen Electra oozes one of many spaced-out, breathy comments: “She represented… the strongest type of woman, which I find so attractive… I wouldn’t mind if she, uh… Well, I guess she wouldn’t need to strap it on.” I wonder what kind of drug cocktail Miss Electra has ingested this evening? Raja wins the challenge.

Yara chooses pop for her performance. Her singing voice is God-awful. Shangela: “Maybe tone gets lost in translation?” Lucien: “We should figure out the best way to make you sound good.” During her live performance, Yara wears a sparkly bikini, a-la Britney Spears’s “I’m a Slave for You” MTV VMA performance. Some of the judges think she could have covered up a bit, but not Carmen Electra: “I thought… she had guts… to get up here… she sparkled… I liked her.” Yara is safe this week.

Alexis chooses hip-hop this week: “I’m modeling myself after Lil Kim.” Her voice sounds shaky in the studio, and Lucien asks what would help make her less nervous. Alexis: “I cannot say that on TV.” Her live performance is energetic and entertaining, but the judges don’t like her star-shaped pasties and strip-hop look. Michelle Visage hates her latex boobs: “those aren’t boobs, THESE are boobs!” Holy shit, Michelle flashes the camera and grabs her titties. Yikes! Alexis is safe this week, and hopefully the rest of us will be safe from Michelle’s bare ta-tas for the rest of the season.

Carmen Carrera ensures her own doom by choosing reggae as her genre. Her space-cadette comment in the studio: “Is this to catch my spit?” Carmen’s voice is boring, quiet, and totally off key. Lucien: “Do you think that you’re performing right now?” After her live performance, the Absolut guy says it best—Carmen is all style and no substance. Michelle thinks she is not moving past the point of posing. Carmen Electra’s vapid reply: “That’s her crutch… So, she really doesn’t have to… bring anything else.” Carmen Carrera is up for elimination. (Can’t Carmen Electra be up for elimination too? Please?)

Predictably, Shangela chooses country as her genre. She’s aiming for Carrie Underwood concert-style, but the girls (and eventually the judges) think her look is a fail. In the studio, Shangela tries to change the melody of the song. Lucien: “Shangela might benefit from being a little less confident.” Her voice and live performance are meh. Carmen Electra: “It was so… middle of the road…” Shangela’s up for elimination.

Carmen Carrera and Shangela are lipsyncing to Cher’s Believe. I LOVE THIS SONG!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbXiECmCZ94

Shangela dances hard and does a crazy split-move while Carmen Carrera just walks around the stage looking pretty. The judges think Shangela turned it out, so they tell Carmen Carrera to sashay away. “Do you believe in life after RuPaul’s Drag Race?” I don’t WANT to believe in life after RPDR, but we are just a few more episodes away from a winner. Farewell for now, all. Until next time, don’t be jealous of my boogie.

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