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Mother’s day is SUNDAY. Don’t forget!! My mother has been sending me “tex-mexes” all week reminding me of the latest possible date I can send her present with standard shipping. It got me thinking about the commodification of motherhood. Which got me thinking about celebrity mothers; scheduling adoptions to coincide with movie releases and selling photos of their newborn children for serious cash. Which got me thinking about bad mothers.

Whenever we hear about motherhood from the mainstream press it’s usually tied to celebrity culture and famous So-and-So’s “baby bump” (I hate that phrase!). Even when the media decides to feature a story about a non-famous mother, it’s usually due to some lurid story presented in a tabloid news tone. So here’s a round-up of some of the world’s worst moms!

There are baby killer mothers…

  • A 44-year-old woman, was arrested on suspicion of killing her own babies after her 18 -year-old son found the bodies of three infants stashed in the family’s freezer while looking for a frozen pizza.
  • Sabine Hilschenza killed eight of her newborn babies and buried them in flower pots and a fish tank in the garden of her parents’ home.
  • Susan Smith claimed that an African-American male car-jacked and kidnapped her two children. In truth she strapped them into their car seats and drove them into a lake. BOO!!!!!

The only thing that’s funny about dead babies is that there’s a pile of them in my garage.

BUT there are a trillion things that are funny about PARTY MOMS!!! trying to be cool…

The wild nights came to an end for Anna Walker aka ” California Party Mom” when a 4Runner, packed with 12 teenage boys, crashed after leaving a party at Walker’s house. Details from the party: the guest list was restricted to teenage boys, plenty of booze was on hand, and by the end of the night two of the boys got laid courtesy of Mrs. Walker! Her police officer husband filed for divorce within days of the incident.

40-year-old Silvia Johnson used to throw ragers at her place in Arvada, Colorado. She provided alcohol, weed, meth, and sex to five teenage boys, classmates of her daughter. One of the teens said: “She basically raped me. There was no consent by me whatsoever.” Getting underage boys drunk and taking advantage of them!!! Woo! But Silvia Johnson was a thoughtful mom who cooked her daughter breakfast and spiked it with meth to pep the 16-year-old up for school.

Long Island Mothers group Mingling Mothers chose Dina Lohan as mother of the year! Yes, Dina Lohan, mother of celebrity fuck-up Lindsay Lohan. The woman skipped a court ordered family therapy session to receive the award. Are you fucking kidding me?

There are bad moms and then there are awesomely bad moms…..

The most famous terrible mother would have to be Joan Crawford, the insane glamorous alcoholic child abuser with OCD. According to the famous tell-all Mommie Dearest penned by daughter Christina, Crawford was a DI-Fucking-SASTER of a mom.

Watch the trailer to the awesome movie Mommie Dearest:


See the abuse!


Sunday is Mother’s Day. Don’t forget! Hopefully you appreciate your mom a lot more now! I know I love my mom a TON!!!


(I thought it would be a great idea to bring my visiting mother to Crowd Control. Fitsum captured party mom gold)