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Thanksgiving is a difficult holiday. Between all of the drinking, complaining about sports, and fighting with your relatives and friends, there’s barely enough time to actually cook the damn food. Which is why we’ve done all of the hard work by compiling a list of quality places where you can buy your entire Thanksgiving meal. Why slave away in front of the stove when you can be drinking a cocktail (or two) and reheating an already A++ dish?

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Red Apron
Your favorite butcher / breakfast sandwich purveyor is selling “local, heritage, free-range turkeys.” They’re getting their birds from the Fields of Athenry farm (which doesn’t sound like a real place, but sure) in Purcellville, Virginia. The turkeys are hormone, stimulant, and antibiotic free, so you don’t have to worry about them turning you into hulk strength Nadine Hurley or anything like that. You can choose between a fresh turkey for $9 a pound or a brined turkey for $10 a pound. Place your order online by noon on Monday, November 23rd and you’ll be good to go.

Acadiana
If you want to impress your in laws with a very different kind of bird, Acadiana is selling a cajun-style turkey for $105. Make sure to order it in person or on the phone (202-408-8848) TODAY by 5pm and you’ll be able to pick it up on November 26th.

Bidwell
This place takes their turkey seriously. Every order of their roasted comes with stuffing and cranberry sauce. Orders range from serving 10-12 people or 16-22. Place your order TODAY online and you’ll be able to pick it up by November 23rd at the earliest and the 25th at the latest.

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Del Campo
Del Campo is going all out with a brined, then seasoned, then herb-smoked turkey for $120 this year. Not to mention it comes with a green chili purée AND an aji amarillo aioli. They’re accepting orders until 8pm on Sunday, November 22 and you’ll be able to pick up on Wednesday, November 25 until 10pm. 

Smokehouse Live
If you feel a deep need in the pit of your stomach to drive all the way out to Leesburg, Virginia, then get excited because they’re selling pit-smoked turkeys. Turkeys between 12-14 pounds go for $50 each and if the photos of their BBQ are anything to go off of, it’s going to be delicious. Just make sure you order over the phone / email by November 20th.

Centrolina
Centrolina is offering a 10-12 pound, cider brined, free-range turkey for $6.99 a pound because why not trust an Italian restaurant with your main dish? Make sure to order by November 20th and you’ll be able to pick up your order between November 25th and the 206th.

Georgia Browns
This place knows whats up, because they give you the option between a deep fried turkey and a boring old roasted turkey. Which, despite the danger difference, both go for the same price of $85. The deep fried bird is rubbed in creole seasoning, while the roasted one is brined in apple cider then rubbed with herbs and slow roasted. Both include a pint of gravy and must be ordered online by November 23rd at 5pm.

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Founding Farmers (Montgomery County)
Are you the kind of person that doesn’t care about having a full turkey, but you still want a taste? Then head to the Founding Farmers in Montgomery County where you can get a roasted turkey breast for four with gravy for $40. Place your order by Friday, November 20th at 5pm and you’ll be able to pick up your meal by Tuesday, November 25th. Orders can be placed online, over the phone (301-340-8783), or by email ([email protected]).

BlackSalt
This oyster joint gets their turkeys from Pennsylvania and promises that they are hormone, antibiotic, and preservative free. A fresh turkey runs $5.50 a pound, while a brined, seasoned, and trussed turkey runs $6.99 a pound. Order by November 23rd and your bird will be ready November 26th starting at 10am.

Kapnos / Kapnos Taverna
Greek spiced spit roasted turkey sounds way more delightful than whatever else you were going to make. The turkeys range from 14-16 pounds and come with a lemon-thyme gravy. Kapnos is accepting orders through Sunday, November 22 and everything should be available for pick up on Thanksgiving Day between 10am and 12pm.

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Room 11
Bread is the best kind of side. Just think about it, why would you eat vegetables when you could be eating bread? While you’re downing a few fantastic cocktails from Room 11, be sure to order some of their buttermilk biscuits. Orders have to be in by noon on Saturday, November 21st and can be made in person, over the phone (202-245-0525), or by email ([email protected]). You can get half a dozen for $15 or, if you’re a real adult, a dozen for $27. This is way better than boxed cornbread, trust us.

Bidwell
Bidwell has the Thanksgiving soup game on lock. You can choose between pumpkin with fried sage or wild mushroom with chestnuts. If that’s not enough, you can also grab a Pear salad with blue cheese, peacans, and golden raisins, a charcuterie plate, whipped Yukon gold potatoes, French green beans with toasted almonds, glazed baby carrots, roasted sweet potato with maple and candied pecans, and finally, choose between a root vegetable hash or Yukon gold potatoes. Sides range from $5.25 to $15. Place your order TODAY online and you’ll be able to pick it up by November 23rd at the earliest and the 25th at the latest.

Red Apron
Class up your Thanksgiving meal with a butcher’s charcuterie board! In fact, forget about ordering a turkey, order two (or three) of these instead, and have the classiest Thanksgiving ever. Not to mention Red Apron is offering a roasted mushroom bread pudding and Red Apron gravy to go along with your charcuterie board (or, I guess the turkey if you really feel the need to be traditional). Place your order online by noon on Monday, November 23rd.

BlackSalt
If you don’t have oysters at Thanksgiving you are not doing it right. My personal plan is to eat all 100 bluepoints my grandfather has ordered and skip the turkey all together, but for the “normal” people who only want a dozen or so, BlackSalt’s range between $18 a dozen for boutique and $24 for premium. Of course, they also have an insane amount of side and starters available, from Chincoteague oyster stuffing, to local candied yams with caramelized apples, smoked salmon rillette. Cost ranges from $6 to $32

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Eatonville
Fried chicken counts as a side right? We’d like to think so, but even if you disagree Eatonville is serving up plenty of other options including mac and cheese, green beans, candied yams, cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cornbread muffins, and sweet iced tea. Prices range from $6 to $20 and orders must be in by 5pm at Friday, November 20th.

Firefly
Grab yourself some pre-made sides like cranberry sauce, stuffing, gravy, and brussels sprouts for the low low price of $8 for a small (or $15 for a large). Place your orders TODAY by phone ((202) 861-1310) and you’ll be able to pick them up the day before Thanksgiving. Just make your decision quickly.

Acadiana
For those of us who want to pretend we’re spending Thanksgiving in New Orleans, Acadiana is also offering a range of sides along with their turkey. They can be purchased a la cart for $12 each and options include giblet or eggplant gravy, sweet potato puree, mashed potatoes, oyster stuffing, cranberries, cornbread and andouille sausage stuffing, collard greens, macaroni & cheese, and a dozen biscuits with pepper jelly (which is actually $10).

Macon Bistro & Larder
More often than not, the best part of Thanksgiving is all of the sweet sweet sides. If you’re looking to eat your weight in potato dishes look no further than Macon. They’re offering stuffing, cranberry sauce, casserole, mac and cheese, collard greens, and sweet potato and buttermilk biscuits, which you can order in servings of four, eight or twelve. Prices range from $100 to $200. Orders must be in by Friday, November 20th and they’ll be available for pick up between Tuesday, November 24th and the 25th.

Le Diplomate
Le Diplomate’s bread basket is infamous in D.C. Usually it is unavailable to order to go (unless you sneak out with it…), but they’ve broken the rule for Thanksgiving. So gather your friends and family around the table for some sweet cranberry walnut boule ($10), a crusty french baguette ($3), and a little sourdough rye wheat ($8). The bread will be available throughout the entire week of Thanksgiving from 4-9pm, so all you have to do is walk in and soon enough you’ll be filling yourself with carbs.

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Co Co Sala
D.C.’s very own Wonka Factory is pumping out decadent pie for the holiday. Choose between a triple chocolate pecan pie  for $24 or a maple co co. pumpkin pie for $22. Or order both because who cares, you’re an adult that can make your own decisions. Pre-order by November 22nd and you can pick up your pies by November 25th.

BlackSalt
Are you sick of all this goddamned pie? Thankfully BlackSalt is offering a variety of treats including ice cream ($8 a pint), brownies ($12 for a dozen), cookies ($10 for a dozen), brittle ($4 for ¼#), and candy bars ($12 for a dozen).

Room 11
So maybe you’re looking for something a little more substantial from Room 11’s bakery than biscuits? We’ll you’re in luck then because they’re also offering pies to go. Pumpkin pie, blueberry pie, apple pie and chocolate bourbon pecan pie, and the brand new Mexican chocolate pie. Pies range from $27 to $30 plus they’re offering a bunch of different accouterments like chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, maple whipped cream and vanilla bean whipped cream for $7 each. Place your orders in person, over the phone (202-245-0525), or by email ([email protected]) by noon on Saturday, November 21.

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Photo provided by Room 11

Firefly
While you’re grabbing a slew of sides from Firefly, pick up a pie or two. They’re offering lemon meringue, apple, and pumpkin pie for $18. Place your orders TODAY by phone (202-861-1310) and you’ll be able to pick your pie up the day before Thanksgiving.

Macon Bistro & Larder
Besides sides, Macon is also selling two pies to go. Choose between sweet potato or apple-brandied raisin pie. Each pie goes for $45. Orders must be in by Friday, November 20th and they’ll be available for pick up between Tuesday, November 24th and the 25th.

Joe’s Seafood
It’s super weird to think about grabbing your meal from a seafood joint, but Joe’s is offering a bunch of pies to go. Choose from pumpkin chiffon pie, old fashioned apple pie, key lime pie, or the slightly more seasonally appropriate sweet potato pecan pie. If you’re going to make an order, be aware that 24 hour notice is required.

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BLT Steak
Are you such a busy / important / cool person that you don’t even have time to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner? No worries, just stop by BLT Steak for a handful of their Thanksgiving leftover popovers. Filled with dark and white turkey meat, cranberry chutney, potato puree, and rosemary gravy, they run $10 a piece and will be available Friday, November 27th.

Pete’s New Haven Style Apizza
Why eat a full Thanksgiving meal when you can have a pizza instead? Pete’s is answering all your stoner Thanksgiving prayers with their Thanksgiving pizza which is topped with roasted turkey, candied sweet potatoes, cranberries, goat cheese, brussels sprouts, pancetta, and mozzarella. You’ll be able to order it starting  Monday, November 23 until Wednesday, November 25, but you’ll also be able to grab a slice on Black Friday.

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Carmine’s
Carmines is going hard this Thanksgiving and is offering a full comprehensive meal for $239.95 that will feed 8 entire people. It includes an 18 pound roasted turkey filled with sausage & sage stuffing as well as homemade cranberry sauce, brussels sprouts with caramelized onions and applewood smoked bacon, sautéed string beans with red peppers and hazelnuts, baby carrots with fresh dill, sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows and maple syrup, mashed potatoes with giblet gravy, PLUS a pumpkin, apple or pecan pie. Hot damn.

Founding Farmers (Montgomery County)
This is only available at the Montgomery County location, but if you feel like driving all the way out there, then a full dinner for four people will run you about $140. It includes cornbread or pimento biscuits, a farmers salad or corn bisque, glazed ham or roasted turkey breast, cranberry relish, whipped red potatoes, sweet potatoes, cornbread stuffing, autumn vegetable succotash, and apple or pecan pie. Place your order by Friday, November 20th at 5pm and you’ll be able to pick up your meal by Tuesday, November 25th. Orders can be placed online, over the phone (301-340-8783), or by email ([email protected]).

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Jackson 20
For $295 Jackson 20 will make you a Thanksgiving meal that feeds between eight and ten people (depending on how hungry they are). The full meal includes a heritage roasted turkey, cornbread stuffing, buttermilk mashed potatoes, braised collard greens, cream corn casserole, cranberry sauce, gravy, and pumpkin pie. Place your order by Sunday, November 22nd and they’ll be available for pick up between 10am and 12pm on Thanksgiving Day.

AND THAT IS ALL. Happy stress free eating y’all!

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