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What does one wear to an undie run? The obvious choice is of course undies but like the world we live in, underwear comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Perhaps someday everyone will be as accepting of the human race as they are of underwear. Speaking of race, Cupid’s Undie Run is a little over a week away and it’s all for a good cause, benefiting the Children’s Tumor Foundation! Every year people embark on a journey of self-discovery in the form of a huge party and a half-naked mile run in the freezing streets of multiple cities all over the world. Have you registered yet? Do that, then use this scantily-clad guide to choose the panties that best describe you as a person(ality) and where/wear you are in life. You can also get some panty pointers from last year’s pics!

americangladiator

Snagged from Etsy, probably not secondhand!

Forego comfort for sparkle, like a real American!

 

Amazon baby!

From lace to shining lace.

 

For the dude who loves art and America.

For the dude who loves art and America.

 

Run, like a majestic bald eagle

Turn an American flag into a cape, the way our forefathers did.

Turn an American flag into a cape, the way our forefathers did.

 

renfest

Check thou inbox. You've got chainmail!

Check thou inbox. You’ve got chainmail!

 

Lord (Lady!) of the Ring (Panties!)

Lord (Lady!) of the Ring (Panties!)

 

Keeps your ears warm and POINTS you in the right direction!

Keeps your ears warm and POINTS you in the right direction!

Fellas, you too can be a Proud Mother of Dragons!

Fellas, you too can be a Proud Mother of Dragons!

 

Every wizard needs a staff.

Every wizard needs a staff.

Oops, Hobbits can't wear running shoes...or any shoes.

Oops, Hobbits can’t wear running shoes…or any shoes.

 

nassa

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Obligatory Uranus joke.

 

All about that space, 'bout that space no Hubble (telescope)!

All about that space, ’bout that space no Hubble (telescope)!

 

Why jog when you can float?

Why jog when you can bounce?

 

Use the force to keep your hair out of your face!

Use the force to keep your hair out of your face!

 

Get beamed up.

Get beamed up.

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For keeping wind and space debris out of your eyes.

 

Grab a map to the stars.

Grab a map to the stars.

 

captainplanet

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Make like a tree and get outta here.

 

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Gird your loin…cloths!

 

Hippie(ster)

Hippie(ster)

 

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Make some waves, brah

 

Bearly there

Bearly there.

Bro, you're totally one with nature.

Bro, you’re totally one with nature.

 

superhero

Be your own Kryptonite, like that 3 Doors Down song!

Be your own Kryptonite, like that 3 Doors Down song!

 

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Caper!

 

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Sockhero

 

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Hope you find parking for your invisible jet.

No Image Attached - Invisible Jet

No Image Attached – Invisible Jet

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Under Woman!

 

Cuff 'em.

Cuff ’em.

 

Unzip your fly outta that web!

Unzip your fly outta that web!

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

Oh what a tangled web we weave…

Finally, a cape for your ass!

 

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This doesn’t seem scary at all!

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