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The Washington Nationals are no longer playing Chuck Brown’s “Bustin’ Loose” after they hit home runs. They are now playing Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj’s “Bang Bang” after they hit home runs. No one is happy about this.

The Nats are D.C.’s team so they should have a song by a D.C. band or solo artist. This should be a rule across Major League Baseball. Based on the public outcry, the MLB may consider a new rule.

We’re here to help. Rather than complain about once was (and to be clear, if the Nats want to go back to “Bustin’ Loose” we’re 100% on board), we’re pitching (horrible pun intended) what could be.

If the Nats want to embrace D.C. hardcore past/present/future: Bad Brains “Banned in D.C.”

The only problem is it might be a tad too loud for fans with sensitive ears. You know what else is sometimes too loud? Fireworks. If fireworks are fine, Bad Brains are fine.

If the Nats want to trick people into thinking they’re listening to modern hits: Marvin Gaye “Got To Give It Up”

It’s not Robin Thicke and people that think it’s Robin Thicke can happily dance along and people that love that it’s not Robin Thicke can dance along and there are no people that don’t like Marvin Gaye.

If the Nats wants to instantly remedy their Chuck Brown situation: The Junkyard Band “Sardines”

Obviously.

If the Nats want to do what more sports team should do and have a female fronted band be the song of their home runs: Ex Hex “Don’t Wanna Lose”

Start it at the chorus. A steady beat that makes heads nods. Vague enough lyrics to not turn off sports fans, but not blatant enough to be “Bang Bang”. Bonus: they’re one of the few acts on the list that are still together. Who wouldn’t want a pre-show concert from the D.C. three-piece?

If the Nats want to spread Ginuwine awareness: Ginuwine “Pony”

Ginuwine is from D.C.! I had no idea! Donna’s cousin is a hometown hero and “Pony” should be our anthem!

If the Nats want to be on the forefront of trap music in baseball: Gent & Jawns “Turn Up”

Maybe the Nats picked “Bang Bang” because they want to seem young and hip? That’s nice, but not a lot of young and hip people are blasting “Bang Bang” this spring. The baseball club has the chance to shine a light on a relatively unknown act, so why not shine it on local trap act Gent & Jawns?

If the Nats want to impress people that read Pitchfork 10 years ago: Supersystem “Miracle”

Supersystem broke up 9 years ago. So what? This song has everything a home run celebration anthem needs. The mid-tempo, extremely danceable tune would also be an excellent relief pitcher entrance song.

If the Nats want to claim a Rock and Roll Hall of Famer as their own: Foo Fighters “My Hero”

Dave Grohl was shaped by D.C. He may no longer live here and he may not have ever lived here while releasing music, but he counts D.C. as one of his foundations so why not? Sports fans have been hearing “My Hero” in arenas and stadiums for the last 18 years. The safest pick of the post.

If the Nats want to play a Fugazi song because you’re legally required to at least consider Fugazi whenever music and D.C. is concerned: Fugazi “Epic Problem”

No, it’s not “Waiting Room.” This 2002 track could be cool if started around the 1:45 mark.

If the Nats want their players to dress better: Scene Creamers “Better All The Time”

Ian Svenonius is the best dressed musician in D.C. and he happens to release some of the best music in D.C. This 2003 track sounds like it was released in 1967. It’s funky, psychedelic and would help the Nats stand out in the usually bland sports soundtrack scene.

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