Since we know how important at-home-entertainment is for all of us – every week we do a little “what’s getting released on DVD/on demand/Netflix this week” round up for you, with nice little excerpts of our past reviews and more. You’ll love it. Trust us.
OUT THIS WEEK & PROCEED WITH CAUTION:
- Transformers: The Last Knight. Here’s what we said in our original review:
No matter how terrible our world has become, at least we’ve only had to deal with these goddamn Transformers movies for a decade. In the world of Transformers: The Last Knight, mankind’s history with these idiotic robots have been intertwined for over a millennium. Those poor bastards in this cinematic universe have been inundated with this nonstop bullshit ever since the Dark Ages. That’s right, Transformers: The Last Knight begins with the Knights of the Round Table, as Merlin (a drunk, bearded Stanley Tucci) finds a robot dragon that helps King Arthur save the world. In fact, Transformers have helped all the world’s great leaders: William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln, Frederick Douglass, even Shia LaBeouf’s Sam Witwicky! The only positive thing that can be said about Transformers: The Last Knight is at least we’re only overrun by their Autobots and Decepticons every few years.
- 47 Meters Down. Here’s Mike D’Angelo over at The AV Club:
If Blake Lively can go mano a mano with a shark, why can’t Mandy Moore? Not a question that’s captivated the public imagination, necessarily, but 47 Meters Down attempts to provide an answer all the same. Set in Mexico, where Lisa (Moore) and her younger sister, Kate (Claire Holt), are on vacation together, the film wastes admirably little time putting them in peril, pausing only briefly to establish, for those viewers who require some sort of jejune emotional backstory (which The Shallows likewise supplied), that Lisa was recently dumped by her boyfriend for the crime of being insufficiently exciting and spontaneous. That’s her primary motivation, along with prodding from the more adventurous Kate, for accepting an invitation from two local hunks (Chris J. Johnson and Yani Gellman) to go cage diving in shark-infested waters. (Matthew Modine plays the tiny role of the boat captain, for which he’s hilariously overqualified.
OUT THIS WEEK & WORTH YOUR TIME:
- Wonder Woman. Here’s what we said in our original review:
The summer blockbuster season has already started, but the film of the season has already been delivered. Wonder Woman is the best thing to happen to the DC extended universe since Christopher Nolan presented The Dark Knight almost nine years ago. Even if you didn’t watch any of the lead-up films (Man of Steel, Batman VS. Superman, Suicide Squad), you can and should watch Wonder Woman. It has emotional intelligence and kick-assery that is reminiscent of Marvel’s Jessica Jones, and is unafraid to portray a woman who is entirely in control when she moves into the realms of men. Wonder Woman is a warrior worthy of imaginative stories, an immortal being, and dammit, she’s smart as hell, too. Kid-me yearned for a heroine of my own, one who wasn’t a part of a team, and wasn’t considered a joke. Why, oh why, did it take so long for a live action version of Diana’s story to come to the movies?!
INSTANT VIEWING OF THE WEEK (rousing adventure edition):
- Passion (now on Amazon Prime). Here’s Roger Ebert:
De Palma has also sprinkled the proceedings with waggish references to some of his earlier cult classics. A new plot development could have come straight out of Sisters, and the entire story, with its tale of a female power struggle that ends violently, is essentially an adult version of Carrie with the cruelties located in boardroom instead of the locker room. These additions give Passion an idiosyncratic personal touch that has become increasingly rare in movies these days, and that is one of DePalma’s hallmarks. This is a film that was clearly made by an individual, not a committee, and it shows in every frame.
- What Happened to Monday (now on Netflix). Here’s Noel Murray over at the LA Times:
At over two hours, What Happened to Monday can be exhausting; and the script by Max Botkin and Kerry Williamson can’t seem to keep its contrivances or its socio-political opinions straight. But Dead Snow writer-director Tommy Wirkola provides some stylish thrills, loading up on chase scenes, gunfights, and occasional bursts of sex and gore. (A scene where one of the Settman gals severs an assassin’s finger to use his trigger-locked gun is especially gnarly.) Fans of outsized genre fare should appreciate how much fun Rapace appears to be having, showing off different skills in different wigs. Her enthusiasm doesn’t make this a good movie, but it does makes it likable.
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (now on Netflix). Here’s Michel O’Sullivan at The Washington Post:
For fans of the thriller genre, it’s also one heck of a lot of fun. Not that “fun” is the key word here, by any means. As directed by Niels Arden Oplev, Tattoo is far more interested in shadows than in sunshine. One subplot concerns Lisbeth’s parole office (Peter Andersson), a vicious creep who sexually assaults her. And, as it turns out, there are a lot of bad apples in the Vanger family tree, which has more than its share of Nazis. But it’s exactly that tonal chiaroscuro — the stark contrast between the story’s light and dark elements, good and evil, beauty and ugliness — that makes Tattoo so compelling. Like Lisbeth’s dragon tattoo, which takes up most of her back and a good part of her leg, the movie is both terribly scary and gorgeous.
That’s it! Get some Noomi in your eyeballs, nerds.