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Yesterday we told the males what to wear to their company holiday party. This post is for the ladies. Or men that prefer to wear dresses. Whatever. Dresses!

I’M AN INTERNET MARTYR. For you, I forgo morning trips to the coffee shop and afternoon strolls through the neighborhood—choosing instead to stay in bed with a laptop on my lap, doing all your online shopping so you don’t have to. That’s what a martyr is, right?

Well, either way, this week I perused all the staple (read: my favorite) online shopping destinations to bring you the winter event dresses. Nasty GalWasteland, and Akira all have great options for the extravagant winter galas and New Year’s balls you will be attending. We’ve got you covered you beautiful princess, you.

CLASSY

Because if you actually do have extravagant winter galas and fancy New Year’s balls to attend you need to look good (and your boobies gotta be covered, I guess).

Nasty Gal — Sparks Fly Dress

Red. Chiffon. Stand out, but classily, in this Nasty Gal dress with an (appropriately cut) slit and (appropriately low) cut-out back. Love the idea of wearing it with black heeled booties, polka-dot tights, and a leather jacket. Classy vixen amazing-ness.

Akira — Naven Siren Gown

I’m generally very anti-exposed zipper. I think it’s played out and tacky. I DO, however, think this dress is the exception. The cut and color are so classic I think the zipper adds just the right amount of edge. Also obsessed with the pleats in this dress—voluminous and fabulous

 

Wasteland — Nova Maxi Dress

This is slightly contradictory to my “no boobies” rule, because this dress is pretty low cut. BUT it’s also floor-length, black, and lightly sequined SO IT’S STILL CLASSY, GUYS. I think this is my favorite of the “classy” group, too. So. Fucking. Beautiful.

Akira — Bariano Sequined Mesh Gown

Basically, Oscar-worthy.

 

CLASS IT UP/TRASH IT UP

Multi-use dresses. And by multiple use, I mean you can wear these dresses to a family function with a sweater, and then scratch said sweater and [email protected] it 2 da Klub.

Wasteland — Flower Trail Dress

First off, pretty reasonably priced. Second off, drooling. Partially lined, exposed back, flower detailing—and my favorite not-color (or every color?) BLACK. Dress it up with sky-high heels and a neatly styled bun or, do what I would do, and make it just a lil’ trashy with dark lipstick and sex-hair.

Akira — Drop Waist Sequin Dress

I love the unconventional cut of this dress. All sequined everything is a fancy winter staple, but the drop waist and high neck of this dress will set you apart from all the boring body-con sequin girls out there.

Wasteland — On Pointe Maxi Dress

This one isn’t really club ready, but it definitely straddles the line between classy and sexxxy. If you have abnormal and baseless ballerina aspirations, as many of us do, (read: just me, I think) this dress is perfect. Satin with an open-back and up-to-there slit, this dress will make all your ballerina wishes come true.

SEXXXY

Because you are.

Nasty Gal — Wicket Twists Dress 

I’m sort of hesitant to even post this because I’ve already decided this is what I’m wearing NYE. So I’m posting it, but with the agreement that if you live in NYC you WILL NOT wear this dress on New Years or, if you do, you WILL NOT look better than me in it. This tight-fitting LBD is not the kind of thing you wear everyday. It is, however, the kind of thing you wear when you want to get laid. Because damn.

(Also I’m just kidding, guys…we can all look great and slightly trashy together. Maybe we can have a three-way kiss when the ball drops, too)

Nasty Gal — Dress the Population Lola Sequin Dress

I know I said sequin body-con girls are boring, but that doesn’t apply if your sequin body-con is IRIDESCENT. I’m still not over this trend, not even close. Why? Because it’s a great trend that makes clothes look like a trip down acid-lane. Proof:

Wasteland — Vixen Mini Dress

This 90’s inspired velvety gem with criss-cross adjustable straps is so very versatile. Ripped tights, docs, and long necklaces make it Courtney-Love’s wet dream. BUT a little pink sweater, heart-patterned tights, and a delicate pendant make it cute-sexy. I love cute-sexy, I love this dress.

GET SHOPPING, THEN GET DRESSED.

Also, follow me on instagram/twitter @sweetnloman. I mostly tweet nonsense, but sometimes fashion!

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