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The bar inside a bar has always been one of our favorite ways to leave D.C. without actually leaving D.C. Past the hubbub of the main second floor bar, the Tiki Bar is a relaxing oasis with a cocktail list filled to the brim with drinks that were made to get you accidentally drunk. Every year they have a killer piña colada, a killer spicy drink and a killer bright blue drink that makes you feel like you’re 16 and stealing blue curacao from your family’s liquor cabinet (because you’re too young and dumb to know there’s no booze in blue curacao).

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But this year is a little different. Not only have the fine folks at Jack Rose committed 100% to the tiki bit (you might notice some brand new decor that makes it feel like you’re having a drink inside of Jimmy Buffett’s head), but they’ve also decided to make everything a little weirder, a little boozier (if that’s even possible) and 100% funkier. It’s the best tiki menu we’ve ever tasted at Jack Rose.

For the Person Who Is Still Watching Mad Men
You consider yourself a person of classic taste, which is why you’ll love the Islay Remedy made with Ardbeg’s 10 year single malt. While you bask in the peaty goodness, a mix of white rum, ginger honey syrup, lemon and pineapple cools down the burn, leaving you with a boozy, but drinkable cocktail that doesn’t muddle any flavors. There’s also a rum float on the top, because Jack Rose doesn’t mess around. Now all you need to really get in the mood is a Spotify playlist filled with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, because record players really are too hard.

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For The Person Who Doesn’t Drink
We know, you don’t want to be too hungover for your sunrise yoga class, but how could you resist the call of a homemade hibiscus liqueur made with 200 grams of flowers? Pair that with some white rum, a splash of Charm City Mango Mead, a little bit of Demerara and some lime and you have the Lei’d In Panama. A drink so refreshing and non-booze forward, you’ll be drunk before you’ve even realized you’re drinking.

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For The Long Island Iced Tea Fanatic
The Feelin’ Groggy includes white rum, black rum, cachaca, a homemade Bacardi 151 and falernum combination, triple sec, a splash of coconut rooibos syrup. a dash of grapefruit, a sprinkle of almond and a squeeze of lime. If you’re looking to get as messed up as fast as you possibly can, look no further. If you’re also looking to have a wild ride of a drink that constantly bounces from sweet to savory to nutty to funky, you’ve come to the right place.

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For the Goth Jimmy Buffett In Your Life
The Maña-Na Colada is Jack Rose’s best piña colada yet. It’s creamy, it’s coconut-y and it’s got a slightly herbal bitter kick that will keep you coming back for more without making you feel like you’ve been drinking your dessert all evening. It’s the piña colada for people who hate piña coladas. The inclusion of fernet makes it goth. Don’t ask me how, it just does.

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For The Person Who Wants the Best Cocktail
You’re a simple human with simple needs. You only have time for one drink at the Tiki Bar and all you want is the best cocktail on the menu. Go for the Saturn. Made with Ford’s Gin (surprise!) a passion fruit syrup, some more of that 151 / falernum combo, orgeat and lemon, it’s bright, nutty, fruity and boozy. Everything a tiki cocktail should be.

Jack Rose’s Tiki Bar is open Thursday – Sunday. Check out their 1/2 priced happy hour every Thursday from 5 p.m. – 9 p.m.

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