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Because Christmas parties exist and you can only watch the new Beyonce videos so many times, last Saturday night ended with an in depth look at the legendary, classic, pre-9/11 opus that is Puff Daddy’s “Come With Me.”

Am I bothered by the destruction? The Led Zeppelin hook? The leather suit? The Godzilla? The plug for Sean John? The laughable lyrics? No. All of that is fine. What gets my Godzilla goat comes at the 4 minute mark.

Puff is dancing. He takes off his jacket. Fine. I’m still in it. He takes off his tie. That must have been off camera. Not buying it. Then he unbuttons one button BUT MORE THAN FOUR BUTTONS ARE UNBUTTONED!

Maybe I went too far. Maybe Puff Daddy unbuttons his shirts in an unconventional fashion, beginning in the middle and working his way up or down. Fine. I can’t say whether or not this is true. I can say, that at the 4:55 minute mark during the classic verse of truth’s about hearing his cries, HIS SHIRT IS COMPLETELY BUTTONED! At 5:01, IT IS MOSTLY UNBUTTONED! 5:04 IT’S MOSTLY BUTTONED! Puff was either buttoning and unbuttoning his shirt like a man that likes to button and unbutton things without purpose, or this video has continuity errors.

In the last, iconic shot of the most important video of 1998, Puff Daddy comes face-to-face with Godzilla. His shirt is 100% unbuttoned. In the spinning around while coming on him part of the song, the shirt was 40% buttoned. Puff, for this reason and this reason alone, I will not come with you.

 

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