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Run the Jewels 2 was one of the best albums of 2014. Due to its success with people that have cats and disposable income, a Kickstarter to create Meow the Jewels was created and funded. Meow the Jewels, a re-imagining of Run the Jewels 2 with music replaced with cats noises and cat-like noises, now exists.

Meow the Jewels may not be for people. It may be for cats. I had my cats, Mow (male, age 10 or so, not named after a Chinese Communist revolutionary but because he only answers to the word mow) and Orange (female, age 2.5 or so, the color orange), weigh in on the 11 track remix album.

The cats and I listened to the entire album in order over the stereo. The bathroom door was closed. The bedroom door was closed. Food, water and the liter box was available at all times. This was not punishment.

1. “MEOWPURRDY feat. Lil bub & Snoop Dogg, Maceo & Delonte (El-P Remix)”

Orange is interested. Her ears are at attention. Mow looks angry.

Orange is confused that the cats keep disappearing. When she hears a real cat voice, her tails goes up. When a real cat voice is manipulated she loses attention.

Mow wants pets. Mow appears to be unaffected by Meow the Jewels.

2. “OH MY DARLING DON’T MEOW”

Mow jumped off the couch when I stopped petting him.

Orange drank water for 2 verses.

Mow jumped back on the couch when I motioned that I’d pet him again.

Since this song has hardly any isolated, not manipulated cat noises, they’re pretty uninterested. Sorry, I mean the cats are pretty and they are also uninterested.

3. “PAWLUFFER NIGHT (Zola Jesus Remix)”

Orange is now face marking cabinets. Mow continues to want pets and is pushing his head into my hands.

45 seconds in, Orange is on her back playing with a string.

The high pitched noises around 1:30 inspired Mow to get off the couch to be licked by Orange.

This is the track I thought would make both cats go crazy. It’s a standout on the album to this human’s ears and just an OK track to the cats. Orange is definitely more enthralled with string.

4. “CLOSE YOUR EARS AND MEOW TO FLUFF (Geoff Barrow Remix)”

Orange is confused and looking around for anything resembling a cat. Mow appears afraid and is trying to get back in the bedroom.

Mow is back on the couch wanting pets. By 1:43, he’s no longer scared.

Mow and Orange look very bored during Zach de la Rocha’s verse. Mow yawned.

5. “ALL MEOW LIFE (Nick Hook Remix)”

The cat noise at :30 caught both cats’ ears. It caught my ears because this is the song that references wrestling.

At 2:15, both cats are on the couch and extremely calm.

At 3:00 Orange is on the table. She knows she’s not supposed to be on the table.

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6. “LIE, CHEAT, MEOW (Prince Paul Remix)”

At the first chorus, when the cats kick in, both cats stare at the stereo. Orange proceeds to look around the room and up. Cats may be in the ceiling. Thus far, this is the track most intriguing to felines.

At 2:50 Mow is completely settled in on the couch and no longer wants attention.

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7. “MEOWRLY (BOOTS Remix)”

From the opening, loud, bassy purr, Orange is fascinated in this track. She has a 100 yard stare and appears to be focusing on the window where she watches birds. I think this song makes her want to murder birds.

Mow is completely settled in on the couch and no longer wants attention.

8. “PAW DUE RESPECT (Blood Diamonds Remix)”

At the first sounds of this song Orange went to another window, possibly thinking the strange, animal like noises are coming from the backyard.

Mow has left the couch and is now watching Orange from the shadows.

For the final 30 seconds of the song Orange wandered around the room, looking somewhat agitated but not upset. Thus far, no sounds from either living cat.

9. “SNUG AGAIN (Little Shalimar Remix)”

Both Mow and Orange are somewhat disappointed that this song features two male protagonists proclaiming “Dick in her mouth all day,” and only one female proclaiming “Clit in his mouth all day.” Both cats are wondering why Mike and El couldn’t get another female rapper to level the playing field. Both cats are sex positive and while this is a sex positive song, think it’s still slightly misogynistic. Both cats are considering that maybe they’re overthinking this and there’s nothing inherently wrong with a different number of males and females participating in sexual activities.

Mow is completely settled in on the couch and no longer wants attention.

Orange is using the litter box.

10. CREOWN (The Alchemist Remix)

The human in the room loves the Trailer Park Boys’ Bubbles sample. The human in the room thinks one of the samples could have been from Mow.

Mow is completely settled in on the couch and no longer wants attention.

Orange is back in a window looking for the source of cat sounds.

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11. ANGELSNUGGLER (Dan The Automator Remix)

Orange is still in the window and with each new sound, looks around the backyard.

Mow is completely settled in on the couch and no longer wants attention.

Dan The Automator has created the most pleasing song for Orange. This is the first track that kept her in one place and interested in the outside world. Wait, I hear birds. She may hear birds. She’s way more into birds than other cats. She wants to murder every bird.

12. “CREOWN (3D of Massive Attack Remix)” (Bonus Track)

Both cats are wondering how there can be bonus tracks on digital releases since we can see the track list. Both cats understand that The Alchemist remix was more loyal to the cat idea than this track and that’s why it was sequences higher. Both cats appreciate both versions.

Orange is still at the window but has sat down, no longer as absorbed in the outdoors and the music.

Mow is completely settled in on the couch and no longer wants attention.

Takeaways

Orange seemed to enjoy four tracks (“MEOWPURRDY feat. Lil bub & Snoop Dogg, Maceo & Delonte (El-P Remix)”, “ALL MEOW LIFE (Nick Hook Remix)”, “LIE, CHEAT, MEOW (Prince Paul Remix)” and “MEOWRLY (BOOTS Remix)”) and was not affected by the others. It’s not her favorite album but she doesn’t hate it.

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Mow prefers it to any metal album I’ve ever put on in the house but mostly wants to sit on the couch.

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