Tops and Bottoms: This Week in Pop Culture Dominance | Apr 13, 2012 | 12:30PM |

As far as I’m concerned, these days, if you drove a line down the middle of the most relevant pop culture “happenings,” half of them would be amateur and the other half would be celebrity or mainstream-related. We live in a day and age when what happens on the Internet amongst everyday folks is just as relevant as the most popular television shows, or whatever the hell it is Suri Cruise is wearing these days.

Fortunately for us, Suri Cruise is not on the top 5 this week.

This week, amateurs have definitely taken over. I mean, we could talk about Texts From Hillary Clinton and Kim Kardashian’s business with Kanye West, but chances are you already know all about that. Let’s get our hands a little dirtier this week, shall we?

1. Safe Sex Geriatric Top: Safer Sex For Seniors

>>>>>>>>>>>> Here is a Featured Event >>>>>>>>>>>>
Friday 04/07
Natasha Leggero Live @ Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse
$25 / $25
Natasha Leggero is one of judges on NBC's Last Comic Standing. See her this weekend at the Drafthouse LIVE! Natasha has been a favorite round table guest on the wildly popular “Chelsea Lately”on E! since it’s premier in 2007 and is currently headlining packed comedy clubs across the country with her own brand of sophisticated writing, physicality and glamour. In 2010 Natasha shot a pilot for NBC with Tom Lennon and Ben Garrant from Reno 911 and will be a judge alongside Andy Kindler and Greg Giraldo on the new season of NBC’s LAST COMIC STANDING, hosted by Craig Robinson. She also currently stars in Comedy Central's new hit animated series UGLY AMERICANS. Natasha was most recently seen in the hit movie HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. She has played various deviants in her three-year re-curring stint on Comedy Central's RENO 911. She starred in Comedy Central's pilot GAY ROBOT, and in MTV's hit series THE 70's HOUSE. She has guest-starred on IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, SAMANTHA WHO , AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE , WORST WEEK, TIL DEATH, THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM and the upcoming Comedy Central series NICK SWARDSON'S PRETEND TIME. Born in Rockford, IL and raised in the theater, Natasha has loved being on the stage since she was 10. As a child actress in and around Chicago she spent all of her free time performing in plays. As soon as she graduated high school she moved to New York and attended the Stella Adler Conservatory. Upon receiving an additional degree in theater criticism from Hunter College she swiftly moved to Los Angeles and decided to aim her razor sharp wit at Hollywood instead. Her stand-up television appearances include two knock-out performances on THE TONIGHT SHOW w/ Jay Leno, THE LATE LATE SHOW w/ Craig Ferguson, LAST CALL w/ Carson Daly and she has signed on for a Comedy Central Presents television special and record deal. Natasha has been invited to perform at such festivals as The Vancouver Comedy Festival, SXSW, Sasquatch, Dublin’s Carlsberg Comedy Festival and the prestigious Montreal Comedy Festival, which she will be making her second appearance this summer in 2010. She resides in Los Angeles in a servantless household.
>>>>>>>>>>>> Ok, back to the article! >>>>>>>>>>>>

I understand the need to be careful in the bedroom, but what they don’t tell you is watching this video may actually be harmful to your health for other reasons – disturbing, visual reasons, to be more precise.

No, but really – this is really fucking cute and awesome. If you have the balls to do a commercial like this, both behind the camera and in front, then mad props. It has been a while since I wrote about old people and how awesome they are, and reminds me of a classic which I wrote about in the beginning of my tenure here at Brightest Young Things – check it out:

What do you think – can old people still have fun being “sexy,” or would you rather have them wrap it up underneath a hand-knit sweater and six feet of dirt?

2. Scary Top: Horror Movies Are Way In

Growing up, I never was a fan of the horror movie genre – I liked adventure flicks and dramedies, with maybe a hint of horror thrown in for good measure (does anyone else remember Jack the Bear? God, I love Danny DeVito). But in recent times I’ve started to really get into zombie flicks, and am kind of obsessed with”The Walking Dead,” just like the rest of America.

And just like the rest of America, I am wondering two things: 1) How long would I last in a horror movie situation, or in the zombie apocalypse, and 2) what the fuck is my game-plan?

I always kind of figured I would probably accidentally get alcohol poisoning and die on the toilet minutes before the actual apocalypse happened, or perhaps fall down the stairs on the way to the getaway car. One or the other. Or probably something else equally stupid. But now, there is a chart to help you figure that out, courtesy of College Humor, which you can find here. It’s also below for your reference:

And if you want to take your chances and create a game-plan, then you should definitely visit Map of the Dead, which is a zombie-centric version of Google Maps. It also pretty much rules in every way possible. It directs you to hospitals, gun shops, outdoors stores and provides an awesome overview of areas that are likely to be crawling with the undead. The good news – zombies probably aren’t savvy enough to figure out how to use Map of the Dead. The bad news – in a place as densely populated as Washington, DC, you probably will be dead before you even have to worry about something like that.

Good luck, sucker!

3. Versatile and Delicious: A Flavor You Will Definitely Want to Savor

Okay, let’s start with the obvious question – is this fucking for real? Like, seriously – the 90s were really fucked up, and not just because they were sexually liberating (is there anything more sexually liberating than this song and video? I mean, come on…). On one hand, I really want to believe that this is a real thing. But on the other, probably because I’m a flaming homo, I really want to pretend like I never saw this.

And can we just have one collective “blllleeeeeccchhhhhh” for, “Spicy fajita?! Ay ay AY!” I understand this about as much as I understand anyone who gets a boner upon hearing “Mad Men” or “Game of Thrones.”

BRB, dry heaving.

4. Furry Bottom: Purple Panda Fail

If it is giant and purple and it isn’t Barney or Grimace, I would be running, too. Save yourselves! Every man for himself! They have finally come to take us all!

But, no, really – what were these kids expecting when poor Mr. McFeely prefaced the appearance of the horrifying mascot by, “purple panda”? I mean, they asked for a purple panda, and they got a purple panda. Personally, if my child was in that classroom, I would be more horrified by the notion of a teacher named Mr. McFeely. For serious.

Speaking of horrifying mascots, what do you think about this easter bunny?:

What about this Santa Claus?:

If your initial reaction was, “Yikes,” then we’re on the same page.

5. Skinny Bottom: James Van Der Beek in Skinny Jeans

Okay, fine – so although amateurs were big this week, I couldn’t resist this awesome video of the adorable James Van Der Beek trying to sell us all a pair of skinny jeans (as though we needed to be persuaded).

Actually, this is an advertisement for the new television show, “Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23,” but it has also effectively made me want to slip into the tightest pair of 510s I have and strut down the street. Way to go, Dawson.

He probably hates hearing that by now. Why isn’t he cast in more things, again? I miss him!

Alright, folks, have an awesome weekend, and if you will be in the process of moving to a new house or apartment, as I will be, remember – this is not an effective way to paint your new bedroom:

Willow Smith, at the tender age of 11, has started a revolution.

Recent Comments:
  • frgo says:

    this article makes absolutely no sense