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Top Ten Guilty Pleasures of 2010

1. Gourmet sadness chocolate-I remember when a eating your feelings meant driving to Mickey D’s for a delicious tear-filled McFlurry, a quarter-pounder w/bacon, and fries. Or maybe you settled for a pound bag of peanut M&Ms and a 12 pack of Coors Light. Back in the day, there was no better way to get over that jerk/psycho/insane person, who dumped you. But this year we were introduced to creations like bacon chocolate cake. This is all really good news, because now you can be classy and pretend you’re a foodie while you cry into your chocolate dessert.

The E Channel has gifted us with two gems this year: Married to Rock and Kendra.

2. Married to Rock is like a feminist/ rock loving/ masochist’s dream. Where else can I watch my favorite rock icons be huge assholes to their surgically enhanced future ex-wives? I still hate myself for watching this show long enough to come to the realization that Billy Duffy is the biggest douche ever. RIP total respect for The Cult. Oh, and Perry Farrell, WHAT HAVE YOU BECOME?

3. Kendra-It’s a strangely progressive show. Did you see the one where Kendra goes to fashion week,  eats ribs, and complains about not being able to wear Forever 21 pants to Vivienne Tam? You go girl. I’m right there with you, in jeggings.

4. The i pad. It’s an oversized i phone, but you know you want one, ‘cuz it’s bigger.

5. Kanye West- He might be a pretty shady person, and his music is probably disgustingly overrated, but his new album is really good, and auto-tune rocks.

6. MEAT-You’ve probably realized that you already disgust your vegan friends- 2010 was the year to indulge your cravings for animal flesh and shamefully suffer the wrath of PETA.

7. Adorable pet photos-While posting pictures of lolcats and French bull dogs lookin’ like hot dogs on your facebook page does make you seem like a middle-aged cat lady, everyone knows that this shit is cute as hell.

8. Leaks-like when you accidently mention that you own the Xena 10th Anniversary DVD Collection, or when creepy Australian journalists reveal the shocking truth that diplomats are catty. Secretly we know, everyone should know, these things that everyone already knows…

9. Social Media time-suckers -the stupid amount of time you spend on Facebook/Twitter/Ok Cupid, etc… these sites are still, by far the best way to feed your perfectly justifiable stalker habit. Thank you Mark Elliot Zuckerberg.

10. UnemploymentThe New York Times says it’s ok to still be “finding yourself” in your twenties and thirties. Thank God. After all, no one really wants a nine to five. Unemployment is unpleasant at first…paying rent and eating is difficult, but after you get used to surviving on no income, thanks to friends who let you crash with them, eat their food, drink their beer, and smoke their cigarettes, things actually start to kind of rock.

Sure, you might feel a little guilty and paranoid with no steady day job, but just remember that being at home all day gives you the time you need to become the DJ/blogger/writer/artist/mime/photographer/fashion-designer/bass-player you’ve always wanted to be. Seriously, people make it work aaaall the time.