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At some point during this episode of everyone’s favorite reality show ever Gail looked Yigit straight into his twinkling eye and said “Well, if I had a boyfriend who knew how to make souffle….” and gave him a smile that expressed the feelings of every gay man and (slightly deluded) straight woman watching this show. Yigit didn’t miss a beat and smiled back “Well Gail, if we played for the same team then…” and the camera quickly cut to Zac’s longing side glance.

This moment expresses everything I love about this show: it is grown up, it is flirty, it is fun, it is great to look at, these people are not afraid to interact with each other and yet, it is NEVER in bad taste.

Having said that, and I know this may be a spoiler ahead of the elimination reveal (avert your virginal “CATCHING UP ON DVR” eyes now!) but the last two episodes have kind of been elimination shams-Seth leaving due to anxiety attack (the evil neck twin is to blame for EVERYTHING), Malika eliminating herself and now Heather C being sent home again (she knew she was leaving and they knew she was leaving and we all knew she was leaving) all make the judges’ table watching decidedly anti-climactic especially since the episodes themselves are SO MUCH FUN.

So-Bravo, If you’re listening (and I know you all wake up just for my recaps and nothing but my recaps)-lets shake things up a little towards the end next time, k?

Now onto the recap –

The quickfire challenge was to make a souffle. Which, as anyone who’s ever watched “Sabrina” knows-is pretty damn hard to make. Lets take a little detour and remind ourselves of everything that can go wrong:

The Professor, as he inspecting the students’ soufflés: “Too low. Too pale. Too heavy. Too low. Too high, you are exaggerating! Fair. So-so. Sloppy.”
He gets to the Baron, an old man taking the course again.
The Professor: “Mm. Superb. Mon Dieu, Baron, you have not lost your touch…”
Then he looks at Sabrina’s soufflé.
The Professor: “Much too low.”
Sabrina looks down at her soufflé in disappointment: “I don’t know what happened.”
Baron St. Fontanel: “I will tell you what happened: you forgot to turn on the oven.”
Sabrina: “Oh!”
Baron St. Fontanel: “A woman happily in love, she burns the soufflé. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven.”
Sabrina: “I might as well be reaching for the moon.”
Baron St. Fontanel: “Oh, you young people are so old fashioned. Have you not heard? We are building rockets to reach the moon!”

Well, in the end, endless too low, too sweet (Erika), too dense AND too pretentious (Zac), too anything souffles later, Yigit, Morgan and Danielle (I think!) are in the top 3 and YIGIT WINS!!!!!!! AND TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF IN THE KITCHEN!!!! (not really)

And if you thought making a souffle was a pretty gay way to start this episode, just you wait till they announce the elimination challenge: MAKING EDIBLE DRESSES! Using very high heels as inspirations! AND HAVING PETIT FOURS AS ACCESSORIES! You may as well have heard all the dwindling testosterone in that kitchen evaporate as everyone started excitedly clapping, discussing Gail’s shows and smirking at Danielle’s pointy orange selection (“Obviously, Danielle is not up on couture trends” Zac announces in a montage that showed him make numerous edible outfits which “took weeks”).

So-they go shopping and everyone is having fun: there are plungers being bought for bodice molding, there are spices being purchased in bulk…..

In the kitchen, they have 8 hours to prep, which is MADNESS, MADNESS I TELL YOU and Johnny Iuzzini stops by after his “Grease: The Musical” rehearsal and announces that the winner of this challenge will win 20,000 dollars. EVERYONE BREAKS OUT IN SONG:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHFbhhi_XVc

(Well, not really but! wouldn’t it be amazing if there WAS a special musical episode of “Top Chef Just Desserts”? Just think about it)

So, you know-with 20K on the table-IT IS ON! Yigit is layering white chocolate feathers, Heather H is genuinely draping a dress which is kind of blowing my mind, Morgan is clinging onto his remnant heterosexuality like a child to his Mother’s teat by designing a shiny, shiny sequin red and black dress which would get you voted into a Beyonce video in a heartbeat and actually getting beeped out for saying “Fuck me heels”

You can instantly see that Heather C & Danielle are in trouble (vegetable dresses, really? did no one explain to anyone WHICH TV show they were on) and poor Erik-the-simple-baker is majorly struggling with the high conceptness of this. Everyone else is powering through:

The tasting happens and I am sad to say Hubert Keller was not there (instead that sort of useless but pretty Daily Candy girl returned) and it was a little disappointing that the dresses were still on dress forms and not on some poor underpaid models with chocolate melting all over them.

Morgan finished first and everyone hated him for it but he also made a clutch and inch for chocolate inch, everyone had to agree that his and Yigit’s (who namedropped both Bjork AND Alexander McQueen in 15 seconds or less sealing his BYT hold on our hearts) were the best, most polished efforts. IMO-the two of them and Heather H had it made to the top 3 (I was 2/3 right and 1/3 Zac wrong)

During the commercials there was a cute thing about their nicknames (Heather H is “Iron Chef”, everyone loves Erik!, Morgan is MORGANZA! and he doesn’t like it! Awwwwwww) and then it was show time.

Zac’s urban burlesque warrior (& passion fruit pasties!), Yigit’s ode to ice-queen Bjork, and Morgan’s wet dream (“What was your inspiration Morgan?” “My last two and a half weeks alone here”) made it to the top.


And Morgan won. And the boys gave him a big “Come here straight boy” hug and all was good.

As predicted: Danielle, Heather C and Erik were on the bottom and no one was surprised. Those dresses were ugly, broken, wilting, the petit fours were not good enough to save anyone and in the end Heather C was sent to heal her head wound at home (in DC).

Everyone acted surprised but not really. As I said before, it was oddly anticlimactic to see it.

HOW WAS IT FOR YOU?

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