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I decided since this is the first Wednesday I actually get to watch Top Chef on time I should give Svetlana a break from blogging about it and give it a shot myself. I may not be as witty but I’ll definitely do my best.

The show this week starts off with everyone’s favorite topic – how much they all hate Alex. For some reason I can’t get over the fact Ed always looks like he’s stoned. Just thought I’d share. I think of it instantly when I see him on the show.

We get to the quickfire challenge and a couple contestants explain why they need this $10K so badly. At this point we learn that Angelo really wants it because he has a fiancée with visa issues and it will bring her to America. I may have been shocked to find out he has a fiancée but that was easily explained when we learned about the visa issues. She doesn’t have to spend time with him so she can still tolerate him I guess.

Turns out the quickfire is a spy-based challenge which gets beaten to death throughout the episode by having each contestant share various spy-related quotes like who their favorite famous spy is, why they wanted to be a spy, etc. The challenge gets started with one box of mystery ingredients and other boxes being brought in gradually with each contestant’s dish using all of the ingredients. The first box contained striped bass, some type of beans that I didn’t catch, and a can lacking a label. The next boxes come quickly with all contestants scattering and obviously stressed beyond belief at this ridiculous challenge.

The second box contains black garlic and squid and third and final has ramps and another ingredient. Angelo really seems to be freaking out more than usual and actually tells us that this is the first challenge he thinks he actually sweat in the food. How often does that happen? Kind of gross to think about.

Alex talks about how he never wins quickfire challenges and he’s always at the bottom. Turns out he is right and ends up joining Amanda with the worst dishes. Amanda is no surprise since she first identified the fish as “a fish” and rolled her eyes at the blank can, a little reminder of “how the hell is this girl still here again?” Tiffany and Kevin had the best dishes with Tiffany winning the big prize. Nice girl, two in a row. You’re gonna be honeymooning with the fiancée all over the world. I’m definitely happy to see her win since she is so freakin nice.

For the elimination challenge the contestants are supposed to take a well-known dish such as beef wellington, cobb salad, gyro, French onion soup, etc and disguise it while keeping the original taste alive. After pulling knives to assign a dish they run through Whole Foods grabbing ingredients. Angelo decides to buy premade pastry for his beef wellington that has other contestants wondering if it is a bad sign since it’s the reason Jon got kicked off in the first episode. They spend some more time hating on the fact that Amanda is still there as well as Alex and conveniently show clips of Amanda praising Alex and later describing him as the “wise old Jewish uncle I never had”.

They head to the CIA after prepping their meals and are all excited to be in the HQ with the speakers and security cameras. Kelly ends up having some drama with the rice cooker and gets help from Tiffany who has finished cooking her gyro-inspired meal early. Angelo is again super stressed and charmingly speaking in third person. The VIPs fill a CIA meeting room to be served and Angelo’s dish comes out first. The diners easily identify the dish since he hasn’t disguised it well and they are of course not satisfied with the pastry. We then notice that CIA chief Leon Panetta has a slight sense of humor, who knew? Tiffany’s dish went over well, good enough to hear Erik Ripert pronounce “elegant” in only the way he can. I would listen to that man read the dictionary, his accent is so damn hot. They continue eating and Amanda’s French onion soup dish is too sweet, Alex’s meat is too tough, and Ed’s chicken cordon bleu is cooked perfectly.

The cast mills about in the back dungeon discussing all the crazy things Leon Panetta probably knows including the existence of aliens which goes a step further when Angelo jokes with Alex that he is an alien. The judges call out Tiffany, Kelly, and Ed as the top dishes and Tiffany ends up winning the challenge. Four for four the last two episodes, not too shabby. Now since my favorite, Kenny, is gone I am definitely rooting for Tiffany to win it all. Alex, Amanda, and Angelo end up at the bottom with Alex finally being sent home. I’m just glad we don’t have to hear them complain about him constantly anymore. Such a shame that his face is on the wall at the Palm.

And then there were six…