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A pioneer of experimental instrumental hip-hop and a successful turntable-ist since the mid-90s, DJ Shadow has been auteur-layering rare or unheard samples over grinding, thumping beats for what feels like forever–or, if you prefer, the shelf life of Twinkies. Luckily for you, he’s coming to town this month and you can melt or twitchdance away to pieces like this:

We’ve got one pair of tickets to see him at The Fillmore on Tuesday, March 27th and we want to give them to YOU.

Apparently DJ Shadow owns over 60,000 records in his private collection. (Holy shit, right?) So in order to win these tickets, tell us the most elaborate heist you would pull to steal 60,000 incredible records.

Personally, I’d enlist the help of that one amazing Chinese acrobat from the Oceans remakes, a weapons/vinyl/vinyl-as-weapons specialist and a monkey because why the hell not.

Winner will be selected by 1pm Friday, so you know, get on it.