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So you aren’t a Kennedy Center member who got tickets last month, someone who sat for hours and hours outside the Kennedy Center box office a couple of nights ago (but not sleeping because that’s illegal), a person lucky enough to not have the Kennedy Center website drop an error message on you when you were super close to getting the least expensive $99 tickets, or one of those rare DC theatergoers who can afford to shell out $625 for ONE DAMN TICKET to see Hamilton at the Kennedy Center. What’s a Lin-Manuel Miranda devotee to do? Well, Kennedy Center is promising to sell 40 tickets day of for each show at $10 a pop. As someone who entered the ticket lottery for the Los Angeles run of the show every single day and never won, I’ll say that you might have better luck entering the DC Lottery and winning enough money for a rear mezzanine seat off StubHub.

Look, I have legit connections on my side and even I don’t have a chance of seeing this show in DC this year. My best friend works for Lin-Manuel Miranda’s dad, her brother directed PBS Hamilton’s America documentary, and I actually met Lin in my friend’s living room back in the early ’00s when he played us his demos for In the Heights. Am I name dropping? Yes, of course. To show you that even connections can’t get you tickets. It’s all about being able to drop an obscene amount of money for one single night of theatre.

And I LOVE theatre. I majored in it in college. I see at least a play a month. I’ve listened to the Hamilton soundtrack incessantly. I know it’s an incredible show but $625 is a too much money to spend on one theatre ticket. I’m willing to wait for it, wait for it (every article that’s written about this show is obligated to drop one lyrical reference. I’m just following the rules). While we’re all entering that lottery on the daily, here’s some other excellent ways you could spend that $625 and feel potentially just as fulfilled as seeing Hamilton.

Have a Presidential Experience 

For $619.20 a night, you can stay in the luxurious Diplomat Suite of the Watergate Hotel. You’ll have a balcony with a great view of The Kennedy Center. You can blast the Hamilton soundtrack while wearing a plush robe. If you want to know what to drop that extra $5 on, you can get a PBS Passport membership with a $5 monthly donation, giving you the exclusive opportunity to stream Hamilton’s America on the PBS site.

Get a Hamilton-adjacent Theatrical Event 

Get on the Acela express train (because why Mega Bus it if you’ve got hundos to burn?) business class ($200 each way) and go see the play Kings at the Public Theatre (tickets are $75). The show is directed by Hamilton’s director Thomas Kail and it’s about DC lobbyists. Before you claim that’s waaay more boring that the politics in Hamilton, it has the creative chops to prove it’ll be very entertaining. The show stars Gillian Jacobs (CommunityLove) and Aya Cash (You’re the Worst), who are two of the finest comedic actresses working in television and bringing their talents to the stage. Kings is written by locally grown playwright Sarah Burgess (born and raised in Alexandria, VA) and it’s extraordinarily her first produced play. The Public Theatre is also where Hamilton got it’s production start, pre-Broadway. When this play becomes huge you can say you saw it in it’s first production. HUGE theatre-cred. But get there fast because it’s set to close April 1.

 

Get Your Alexander Hamilton History On

Even though A. Ham’s stomping grounds were NYC, DC is certainly still cashing in on the musical popularity and doing a walking tour of the city, called Hamilton’s DC, that will only cost you two Hamiltons ($20). Now, what do do with that extra $605? The tour ends at The Hamilton, a restaurant and bar where you could drown that extra cash in several bottles of expensive wine and a Hamilton burger. No doubt that might lead to some Hamilton karaoke and for that you can Lyft over to Muzette and rent a private room ranging from $25-80 depending on the night and your party size.

Have a Lin-Manuel Miranda Approved Day 

One of Lin’s collaborators and musical inspirations has been the rapper Common. Common will be coming to Wolf Trap on July 20th with Queen Latifah (tickets between $45-$105). After the show you can head back to the city, and on the way why don’t you purchase Lin’s new mashup song with Dear Evan Hansen‘s Ben Platt “Found Tonight” (the proceeds go to March For Our Lives), and then go eat at Los Hermanos in Columbia Heights. Miranda reps the DR in his musical In the Heights (even though Lin’s roots are in Puerto Rico) and Los Hermanos has some of the best Dominican food in the area at super cheap prices. With your leftover chance, donate it to the charity closest to LMM’s heart.

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