Another man’s piece of shit is another man’s useful piece of shit. Every week, Washingtonians give away various tangibles on Craigslist, like broken televisions, jizz-stained trench coats and Similac. Our serious manpower at BYT sifts through Craigslist’s “Free Stuff” section and avoids all that crap to find the Best and enjoyably Worst of Craigslist.
Best of Craigslist
- First of all, ” It’s time to baby proof and this bar no longer works for us” is no excuse. It’s not like bars have expiration dates or little baby Timmy is going to be slobbering and climbing his way to the Makers Mark bottle. Be honest with us, you’re throwing in the towel to adulthood. First comes giving away the bar, then comes shopping at Coldwater Creek and then comes watching Antiques Road Show before your 9:00 pm bedtime. Regardless, snag this bar, whether you’re a young professional or a broke college kid who wants to decorate it with old Rolling Rock bottle caps.
Honestly, you’re probably thinking “why do I need this popcorn maker when I buy packages of microwavable popcorn at the grocery store?” The fact is there is tons of fake processed butter in the popcorn we buy. Head to the closest supermarket, buy kernels of popcorn and customize your popcorn to make it healthier and tastier. You can still eat fatty popcorn by dousing it in butter and salt if you so desire or you could use less butter and salt and drop a couple pounds. Why not try something new by using Old Bay seasoning, coconut oil, rosemary parmesan seasoning or even Tandoori spice!
THIS FISH IS AWESOME! Tired of being at home alone and having no one to talk to? Last week we talked for two hours about his views on immigration reform. He’s a REAL hoot. Adopt this “impressive” guy before we flush him down the toilet.
Worst of Craigslist
You can piss off your friends, but you can’t piss on your friends. These “sterile” urine containers are STILL up for grabs. Miraculously, no one has claimed these gems. It takes serious determination to continue to post this week after week until they’re claimed, and for that I applaud this Craigslist user.
- Sick and tired of the same boring food? Switch up your pallet and try some Chiquita Banana baby food. Having a cocktail party this weekend? Put out some Chiquita Banana hor’dourves. No one will know its baby food. Have a big date this weekend? Nothing sexier than playing ‘Airplane’ with your significant other.
- Pick up this piss-covered carpet! Once upon a time, this carpet was white, but with Buster’s determination, he transformed this carpet into a beautiful cream color. One of a kind! Don’t miss out on this unwonted opportunity.