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I’m telling you right now, you haven’t lived until you’ve watched as four people silently cut hot steaks in front of a live audience. You haven’t really experienced life until you’ve been in a room hushed with silence, except for the constantly sizzling of four steaks mid-cut. You have not fully ascended until you’ve sipped a glass of champagne as four real live adults treat four real live steaks as if the steaks are a giant ribbon and their knives and forks are the giant scissors. Did I mention that one of those adults was the Mayor?

What I’m saying is, D.C. celebrated the opening of a  new Ruth’s Chris with a good old fashioned steak cutting! The old Ruth’s Chris on Connecticut is empty and the new one is filled with homages to the city like columns and arches and $52 steaks. I did not have the steak, but I did have champagne and a Manhattan and a Sidecar and spicy shrimp and burrata and crab beignets and crab cakes and zucchini fries and goat cheese artichoke dip and seared ahi tuna and a prime burger and cheesecake. If you’re saying, “Wow that sounds like a lot,” you’re right. It was a lot.

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And I (mostly) don’t regret it. If you ever find yourself at the Ruth’s Chris bar two seats down from the Mayor, here’s what I recommend you do. Order some champagne. Dig into some spicy shrimp. Don’t skip out on the goat cheese artichoke dip (it was surprisingly one of our favorite appetizers). Ask for a Manhattan. Slice into those sizzling hot crab cakes. They (mostly) have my Maryland stamp of approval.

I don’t know what they did with the four steaks that were cut by Mayor Muriel Bowser, Jannie Orange (office coordinator of the D.C. Chamber of Commerce), Marc Heyison (founder of Men Supporting Women With Cancer) and Kimberly Lewis (Ruth’s Chris general manager). It was a weird moment. It was a weird night.

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