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So happy Columbus Day, Americans, and also happy Thanksgiving, Canadians! I don’t really understand the significance of either holiday, so rather than guess and/or Google it, I think I would prefer to just bypass that potential theme and instead tell you about my run-in with Suri Cruise yesterday. I was out for a leisurely hungover stroll along the High Line when I heard a voice say, “Well you know what I think, Suri?” I don’t know what came next in that conversation, because my brain was like, “Joey Potter! Where?” Sure enough, Katie Holmes was standing less than an arms length away (I didn’t actually test the proximity because I was not in the mood to be arrested) crouching down to tell Suri what she thought. Suri was entirely decked out in hot pink (which was a really effective choice of camouflaged apparel), indicating she would like to check out the David Blaine ELECTRIFIED situation from afar. Then, she looked RIGHT AT ME.

When I got home I had horrible flu-like symptoms; this resulted in me lying in bed and eating half a rotisserie chicken (because my solution to every ailment is PROTEIN and a lot of it) as I wondered if the sudden onset of illness had anything to do with the curse of Suri Cruise’s piercing gaze. It’ll be hard to know for sure until I’ve talked to David Blaine, since he’s the only other person Suri may or may not have looked at yesterday. Regardless, Suri Cruise looked directly into my SOUL, you guys. And I bet she thought, “Well this is lame.” (WHATEVER, SURI.) Long story short, though, today’s hit list will be punctuated by Katie Holmes / Joey Potter GIFs. ENJOI.

  • Let’s kick off the evening at a Suri-approved event, yes? This Cupcakes 101 course at Butter Lane Bakery sounds perfect, not just because it involves cupcakes, but because it involves YOU making the treats like the true commoner you are! (Suri said the last thing, not me.)
  • “I am NOT a commoner, Megan.” Well PROVE IT; go show up all the people at this course about fancy cheeses by rattling off your extensive (and unsolicited) fromage knowledge!

  • “I swear I am STILL not a commoner, Megan, but I seem to have misplaced my checkbook at the moment.” Right, well now you just sound like Sonja Morgan, but I will just point you in the direction of this free-yet-super-cultural We Heart Art event, featuring (you guessed it) ART, plus jazz music! CLASSY.
  • And you don’t even have to be a commoner to enjoy commoner food at this screening of Dosa Hunt, where your ticket ($11) gets you admission, a FREE dosa and samosa, AND free beer at the after-party. Sounds like a steal to me.
  • But maybe you’d prefer to be out in nature rather than cooped up in a movie theater, in which case 1) we probably can’t be friends, and 2) you should consider heading over to Carroll Gardens for this Fall Tree Identification Walk! FASCINATING!

  • Or rather than identifying trees, you’d rather be taken by them? No, no, I’m not talking about that terrifying tree monster in Poltergeist, I’m talking about this Jens Lekman / Taken by Trees show at Terminal 5!
  • “No trees, down with trees, Megan!” FINE. How about some more concert opportunities, then? For instance, we’ve got Micachu and the Shapes at LPR tonight, and while I doubt there will be a canine backup dancer on stage during ‘Low Dogg,’ I will still be in attendance. COME SAY HI OR WHATEVER.
  • Or for something ever so slightly less “out there,” hit up Le Baron for this MNDR show!
  • Then again, if you’re a huge AC Newman fan you might want to head over to the Rock Shop for this “free” show; if you were already thinking of purchasing the new album it could be well worth it.

  • Speaking of worth it, I think this book launch for Sad Desk Salad by Jessica Grose is exactly that; I say this partially because the book sounds like a real winner, but largely because the flier indicates that drinks will be served. BONUS.

What’s that? I forgot to include something important and/or amazing? Please forgive me, I have the Suri Cruise Curse! If you have any magical flu-healing powers or event suggestions, please send them my way. In the meantime, let it be known that looking directly into Suri Cruise’s eyes can potentially eff up your immune system. BYE!