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I think we can all agree that Mondays are not awesome; HOWEVER, once the work day ends, there’s infinite potential to improve your quality of life. This is especially true tonight, because there are a TON of fantastic events to get excited about. And do you know what else makes today bearable? The fact that GALLERY GIRLS is on at 10pm on Bravo. In fact, Chantal, Amy and Maggie are going to help me guide you through the sea of goings-on this evening, largely because I find them to be the most deplorable of everyone involved. So let’s get started, shall we?

  • Were you even able to concentrate on reading that intro due to excruciating hunger pangs? Well don’t worry, because the chicken of the sea is here to save the day! That’s right, I’m sending you all to this lecture about the history and trends of American consumption of TUNA. As you listen, you’ll be served a five-course, tuna-based meal, complete with beer and/or wine. Word on the fictional street is that special guests will include Jessica Simpson, Charlie the Tuna, and so many stray cats! (PS I assume they’ll be providing gum or mints upon exit, but I’d recommend bringing your own supply just in case.)
  • Now that we’ve dined on an overfished species, we are feeling GREAT. Let’s go use our new tuna-induced super strength to look at some rare books! The Obscura Society is putting on this private tour of the Coller Rare Book Reading Room at the New York Academy of Medicine tonight. Please note that there is no flash photography allowed; if you try anything funny, the books will go Russell Crowe on your ass. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

  • If you would prefer to read subtitles rather than books, though, then I suggest you head to IFC Center for this screening of Jules and Jim!
  • “I am allergic to reading, Megan.” So I guess you’re sneezing a lot right now, huh? Well, for a non-subtitled, hypoallergenic situation, check out Dailymotion’s Cinema Selects at Nitehawk; even if you’re not into their selection of the web’s best creative videos, you can still grab a nice drink (or five) at the bar.
  • Speaking of drinks, there’s a FREE open Genny bar from 7-9pm tonight at Full Circle Bar. And do you know what else? There’s free skee-ball as well! EVERYONE WINS. (Except for Maggie.)

  • Or if you’d prefer to watch barbacks fight it out to the DEATH, then probably head to the 2012 Barback Games at Webster Hall. (Okay, I lied, there will be no death involved, BUT the barbacks WILL battle it out in some rigorous challenges or something.) You can also catch performances from Ninjasonik and The Death Set for FREE thanks to sponsor Fernet-Branca. “What is Fernet-Branca?” Fernet is a popular beverage in Argentina. It tastes like an old sneaker that has been marinated in lighter fluid.
  • “That sounds highly unpalatable, Megan.” Well, with a gallon of Coca-Cola it’s okay, but seeing as how Bloomberg rained on THAT parade, let’s just go to this free Ava Luna show at Public Assembly instead.
  • “DOWN WITH FREE SHOWS, MEGAN. I have $40 burning a hole in my pocket.” Well that’s PERFECT, because Grizzly Bear is prepared to take exactly that much money from you in exchange for a ticket to their show tonight.

See? Your Monday just got WAY BETTER. Unless it didn’t, in which case please tell me what would make it better in the comments and/or on Twitter @BYTNYC.