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I hope everyone enjoyed the beautiful weather this weekend, because you’re all about to be trapped in the office for the next five days! But hey, being locked in your cubicle is better than being locked in the Chokey, right? RIGHT?! If you just said, “What is the Chokey, Megan?” Then 1) clearly Matilda means nothing to you, and 2) you are about to seriously under-appreciate these animated GIFs, which I’ve chosen because Mara Wilson factors into tonight’s Hit List. PLEASE READ ON TO FIND OUT MORE.

  • Okay, before we get started, let’s take a moment to satiate our post-work hunger with SO MUCH CHEESE. We can start out by heading to this Cheese Monger Training Night at The Homestead, where we’ll pretend to be listening to important information as we taste three cheeses and sip an unspecified beverage (FINGERS CROSSED FOR YOO-HOO!) for an even $20.
  • “I prefer beverages of the specified sort, Megan.” Well you’re no fun! But fortunately for you there’s this 61 Local Beer and Cheese Pairing Cruise, where you will be drinking five beers, each paired with a different kind of cheese, as you sail around Manhattan or something.

  • If you get even remotely seasick, I would not recommend that last thing for you. Instead, why not double-up on exercise AND drinking? Some genius decided to combine the two for this event called RUN TO DRINK; you’ll check in at the Brooklyn War Memorial, pay $12, somehow run across all three bridges of Lower Manhattan, and then miraculously end up at a party with free booze. (I don’t get it either!)
  • Or maybe you would prefer to trick your body into burning calories, in which case I’d recommend popping by Public Assembly for The Brooklyn Book Festival Bookends Opening Night; there will allegedly be a lot of dancing and $3 alcohol specials, plus books, possibly.

  • And THEN we’ll continue feeding our brains at Le Poisson Rouge for The Next Chapter: Reading & Storytelling. The flier for tonight’s edition is kind of amazing, mostly because of how everyone is introduced; we’ve got John Flynn (UCB), Susan Kent (Tell It: Brooklyn), and Mara Wilson (Matilda), which is just about the best sequence of credentials EVER!

Did I forget to mention something? Well don’t go all Trunchbull on me; instead, leave me a tip in the comments section and/or on Twitter @BYTNYC.