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You know what time of year it is. The leaves are turning colors, the temperature is slowly dropping, the damn humidity is shrinking back from whence it came: it’s time for the Maryland Renaissance Festival, a.k.a. Renn Fest. If you don’t know about Renn Fest, then you either just moved to the area or you live under a rock. If you know about Renn Fest but haven’t gone, you’re definitely missing out. You may think it’s just some weird nerd haven. Well, yes, it is, but it’s a really fun nerd haven that caters to all audiences. So, grab a turkey leg, grab a beer, soak in the eccentricities and check out some dos and don’ts to enjoy Renn Fest 2015.

DO wear a nerdy piece of clothing. I’m not saying dress up in a full suit of armor (though that would be cool). But I am saying that you should dig out that one nerdy t-shirt you own because you will get a ton of compliments from some really nice people. I wore my Lord of the Rings map leggings and people loved them, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.


DON’T make fun of people for their costumes. Yes, some can be really weird and show a lot of skin, but it’s likely that someone spent a lot of money on it. So just be cool.

DO, however, compliment costumes or pieces you like! Everyone wants validation that they’ve sweated their asses off in full Renaissance garb for something. Feel free to take pictures! But, DON’T take pictures without permission. It’s just common courtesy and the person probably has a certain pose they want to make to get the full effect. Seriously.


DON’T vape! I can’t believe this is what we have come to as human beings. Yes, this is a real sign and it was posted throughout the entire festival. Also, DON’T loudly complain about not being able to vape while continuing to vape right by the sign that tells you NOT to vape. It happened, I saw it, and was very disappointed.


DO try a beesting. It’s half mead, half hard cider and all delicious. It’s best enjoyed out of a leather mug. I was a plebe and drank it out of a plastic cup.


DON’T try to stick whatever weird fad diet you’re currently on. There is an entire row of fried food and if you don’t embrace it, you’re doing Renn Fest completely wrong. You AT LEAST need a turkey leg. That’s paleo, right?


DO check out some of the amazing shows. I recommend Ichabod Wainwright and his wheel of death. He’s funny and can juggle axes while running on a giant wheel. He’s basically a human hamster.


DO buy something stupid but great. I bought clay horns and I don’t care what you think, they’re awesome and totally pointless.


DO pay too much money throw a huge weapon, like a battle axe. You also get to wear a stupid hat while you do it. This is my boyfriend in a stupid hat.


Basically, go to the Maryland Renaissance Festival and revel in merriment like there’s no tomorrow. It’s open until the end of October, so you have plenty of time. Get details about tickets, dates, and more here.