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Tomorrow is Tax Day, and unless you work for the IRS, you’re not very happy about it (and even if you work for the IRS, you probably aren’t very happy about it). These companies are throwing you a pity party, so go indulge yourself:

  • If you’re looking for a little comfort, then California Tortilla will be there for you with free chips and queso with any purchase. All you have to do is say the secret password, “taxes shmaxes.” Yes, it’s cheesy, but it’s free queso. You can do it.

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  • Or how about a burger? Hard Rock Cafe will give you a free Local Legendary Burger, but there’s one catch – you’ve got to get up on stage and “Sing for Your Supper.” There’s nothing like a FREE big, juicy burger to help you get over your stage fright. This is a horrible deal but it exists so it’s here.
  • Need to shred your anger away? Office Depot and Staples will shred up to 5 lbs of paper for free, as long as you bring in a coupon. It’s out with the old, in a very satisfying way. This is a horrible deal and if you’re reading this site you probably don’t have 5 lbs of paper that needs to be shredded but it exists so it’s here.
  • Drown yourself in bagels and cream cheese, with Bruegger’s Bagels Big Bagel Bundles. Get 13 bagels and two tubs of cream cheese, all for just $10.40 if you signed up for their email club before April 9. If you didn’t, don’t worry, you’ll get a free bagel with cream cheese once you join. Or, you can get $1 off a Herby Turkey if you watch the “Sun Dried Tomato Spread” video here.
  • Treat a friend to Boston Market, where they’re offering a buy-one-get-one-free deal on a full meal. Better keep it on the DL, though, there’s a limit to 3 of these per person, per visit. This is a sad deal. The limit of 3 per person makes it sad.
  • Bonefish Grill is throwing you a bone (wow that was painful, we apologize), with $10 off of your meal anytime between now and April 20. Just print out the coupon or show it to your waiter on your phone and you’re good to go!
  • Drink your pain away at BLT Steak, where ESquared Hospitality is offering all cocktails, beers and wine (either in a glass or a bottle) for 50 percent off. That’s right.
  • Nopa Kitchen + Bar is also offering a slew of Tax Day specials, including a special Tax Relief cocktail, a prix fixe lunch menu (which includes one of six dishes and a glass of wine/beer) for $15, and happy hour will be extended from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m., which means booze and bar snacks are 20% off!
  • If you’re an accountant and you really want to go hard on the booze, City Tap House is hosting a “Recovery Happy Hour” April 16th. Accountants who bring in their business card will get to sip on complimentary beer and wine from 5:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. Not a bad deal.
  • After eating a whole bucket of chicken, you know you’re going to need to balance out your taste buds with something sweet. You’re in luck, because KFC is giving away free red velvet cake when you purchase a 10-piece family meal.
  • Pizza Hut isn’t giving away free pies to the masses, but on this website you can enter to win some Pizza Hut gift cards by filling out your “P-2 Pizza Return Form.”
  • Even McDonald’s is getting in on the fun… Pay just a penny for your second Big Mac or Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
  • Bring proof of filing your tax returns when you check into one of the area’s Kimpton Hotels, and the hotel chain will reward you with a special cocktail named “The Procrastinator.”
  • If you have plans to book a hotel in D.C. sometime between May 2 and September 8, book now for 25% off Marriott‘s best weekend rate.

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We’ll be updating this as Tax Day specials roll in. It won’t be hard to top the 5 lbs of paper shredding deal. We can’t promise it’ll get better, but it’ll get better.

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