Sometimes you come home from a particularly stressful day only to find that there is a white box labeled only with a giant Super Mario-esque question mark (and your address) on your doorstep, and you wonder, “Is this a time where I have seen something and should say something?” Upon further investigation, however, it becomes clear that the dot in the question mark is in fact a picture of an Oreo cookie, and you remember that a few weeks prior, the good people down at Nabisco offered to send you a super secret new flavor in the mail for taste assessment. See also: YASSSSSSSS!
Granted, the “super secret” new flavor was not so super secret anymore; the fact that the cookies would be a limited edition Red Velvet had made headlines yesterday, so I did not double-over in a fit of surprise upon opening the package. It did take me until this morning, however, to get the not-so-subtle packaging scheme, which was that the Oreos were placed inside a RED VELVET pouch. (RED VELVET ON RED VELVET, Y’ALL.) This seemed like the kind of dad joke I would make if I worked in PR and marketing, and so we were immediately off to a good start.
The package of Oreos looked just how they do in the store, except imagine (or like, just look at the pictures, which I have not filtered or edited for more realistic reporting purposes) that about a quarter of the contents has been deleted. (I have been known to eat many an Oreo in one sitting in my day, so this was a blessing in disguise, probably.) I imagine that they’ll be available in normal sizes once February roll-out begins, but DON’T QUOTE ME ON THAT.
The actual cookies, meanwhile, did look fairly similar to how they were depicted on the packaging; they weren’t BRIGHT red, but they definitely were a reddened version of regular Oreo cookies. (And then the creme looked just about the same level of white as always, although maybe slightly more yellow due to the cream cheese effect.)
But YOU probably want to know how these things TASTE, yeah? I untwisted one and ate the cookie first, which seemed to be a little crunchier in texture than your standard Oreo. Then I ate a whole one, and I must admit, it really did taste like a red velvet cake in cookie-form; the center creme (a bit more melt-in-your-mouth than usual?) was ON POINT flavor-wise (sweet cream cheese vibes from beginning to end), and the cookies gave it a nice chocolate-y finish. (In other words, if you like red velvet, then you will like Red Velvet Oreo cookies.)
Thanks for entrusting me to spread the gospel of Red Velvet Oreos to the people, Nabisco! Feel free to send more Oreos at any/all times! And to any red (velvet) blooded Americans out there who are chomping at the bit to try these delicious treats, they are slated to hit shelves February 2nd. ENJOI AT TWO COOKIES PER 140 CALORIE SERVING, Y’ALL!