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DC Beer Week begins August 11 and in anticipation of this most auspicious of celebrations, we have compiled all of the best beer activities for all times, DC Beer Week and the other 51 weeks of the year. Outdoor drinking, indoor drinking, eating while drinking, drinking while eating, we’ve got it all! Luckily for all involved, we got this list together before our speech began to slur. Enjoy our coherence while you can. We can assure you, it’s fleeting at best.

Drinkin’ in the Great Outdoors:

Below are the best outdoor patios we have come to find in this great district of ours.

  • Le Diplomate: If you’re going to treat yourself to a beer outside, you may as well up the fancy level and do it Parisian style. Parisian politician style. When have alcohol and politics not mixed? 1601 14th St. NW, Washington, D.C.  20009
  • Del Campo: Or Spanish style. You, your beer and some sexy Mexican field somewhere far, far away from here. 777 I St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20001
  • Chez Billy: Drink at Billy. Bring a friend named Billy. Be a friend named Billy. Just so long as you do it outside on the patio. 1940 11th St. North West, Washington, D.C. 20001
  • Capella Hotel: Drink and be merry. If you find yourself to be overly merry, that is sloshed, just slide your ass downstairs and book a room. Two birds, one blood covered, beer soaked stone. 1050 31st St NW Washington, D.C. 20007
  • The Graham Hotel Observatory: One of the bitchin’est views in DC. Its a bloody observatory. Stick that in your fancy professor- pipe and smoke it. 1075 Thomas Jefferson Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20007
  • Boveda (The Westin Georgetown):  Need to make some sort of grand apology to the spouse that only a night of delicious beer and hotel romance can do?  Bingo. 2350 M St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20037

Drinkin’ in the Even Greater Indoors-T.V. Edition:

Sure it’s great to get in tune with the trees, or whatever it is that people do whilst away from air conditioning, but you know what it’s even better to get in tune with? TV.

  • Nellie’s: One of D.C.’s premier gay bars. Come for the television, stay for the show. 900 U St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20001 
  • Vetnor Sports Cafe: Free popcorn, Wii, and beer. Ohhhh yeah. As if we weren’t competitive enough already.  2411 18th St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20050
  • Redline: A stone’s throw away from Chinatown (as long as you don’t use the same stone you used to kill those poor birds earlier). Hustle to Redline, watch some TV, venture out and contribute to the insanity that is Chinatown, then call it a night. 707 G St NW, Washington, D.C. 20001
  • BlackFinn: Monday- Friday, Happy Hour is from 4-7 pm. That’s three whole hours of $3 beer and red bulls. I love this country. 1620 I Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20006
  • Lucky Bar: This place has huge TV screens and even bigger nacho plates. I can only assume that there is a leprechaun hiding between the rafters contributing to this luck they so fragrantly profess. 1221 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington, D.C. 20036

Just Say No to the Idiot Box- Bars Without Televisions

A little mind-numbing TV can be the best thing in the history of ever, but sometimes you need a break from the monotony of football and Mad Men (blasphemy!). We’ve rounded up a few bars where you can soothe your televisophobia.

  • The Saloon: A bar with rules? That can’t be fun! Wrong. Go sit in the corner. The Saloon prides itself on its lack of television and cell phone bans. If you make plans to go here, you are making plans to interact with the people you came with. You know, your real-live friends. Scary territory, I’m sure, but 100% worth it. 1205 U St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009
  • Black Cat/ Red Room Bar: You’ll barely notice the fact that this place doesn’t have a tv. There’s too much other stuff to do. Shows in one section, and the bar in the other, you’ll be too busy enjoying all of the other amenities to even worry about catching Suits1811 14th St NW, Washington, DC 20009
  • The Gibson: More a speakeasy than your average bar, The Gibson provides a dimly lit moody atmosphere perfect for sipping cocktails and chatting it up. Plus, they make weird custom cocktails that you won’t likely find anywhere else. Make sure to make a reservation. 2009 14th St NW Washington, D.C. 20003

Prop Me Up Beside The Jukebox:

The Washington Post’s Going Out Guide recently awarded Showtime as the best jukebox joint in DC. Showtime is good, but the gumshoes missed so many great jukebox joints in town, see. All this jukebox talk has us talking like early ’20s P.Is. Lets get on with it.

  • The Big Hunt: The carefree Hawaii tiki-themed bar is located near Dupont Circle and has 32 different beers on tap. The only worry you’ll have here is arguing over who gets to pick the next jukebox jam (Hint: Its you. You get to pick). 1345 Connecticut Avenue NW, Washington, D.C., 20036
  • Atomic Billiards: Pool and jukeboxes. When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way, amiright? 3427 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington, DC 20008
  • Black Cat/ Red Room Bar: The Black Cat hosts some of the coolest shows in the District and if that’s not your speed, you can always mosey on over to the bar and make your own concert with the jukebox. Options. 1811 14th St NW, Washington, DC 20009
  • The Raven: Nevermore should you be forced to drink in silence like a peasant. Or a pheasant. Fuck those birds. Ravens are where it’s at.  3125 Mt Pleasant St NW, Washington, D.C. 20010
  • Townhouse Tavern: One of the most down-to-earth bars in the city. Sure, its not pristine (broken bathroom locks and such), but the atmosphere is friendly and the jukebox is bumping. It can definitely yield an awesome night. 1637 R St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009

Pinkies Up- It’s Time For Wine Bars

Beer week wouldn’t be beer week if we didn’t include beer’s prettier cousin, Wine.

  • Room 11: You’re room 1 in our hearts, treat us to a glass? In a addition to an amazing dinner wine selection, Room 11 offers some absolutely delicious dessert wines as well. Honey goat cheesecake and Chateau Sahuc take me way. 3234 11 St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20010
  • Bistrot Lepic: Every day, 5:30pm- midnight, you can saunter into Bistrot Lepic’s wine bar and treat yourself to a glass or two of class. Mondays and Wednesdays, you can top all of this classy action off with a little live jazz from 7pm-10pm. 1736 Wisconsin Ave, NW, Washington, D.C. 20007
  • Cork: Why risk getting in a plane and traveling the world when you can do all the traveling you need, without ever leaving the district? Wines from Austria, Germany, Spain, and even further abroad will make a Carmen Sandiego out of you, yet. 1720 14th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20009
  • Dickinson Wine Bar: Share a cheese plate and a bottle to kickstart your evening adventures. 903 U St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20001
  • Veritas Wine Bar: A selection of more than 70 wines by the glass, Veritas is DC’s self proclaimed “first and only true wine bar.” Show up on a Sunday or a Monday and get select bottles at half- price. Good stuff. 2031 Florida Avenue NW, Washington, D.C. 20009

Where Everybody Knows Your Name- Best Dive Bars:

  • The Velvet Lounge: Live music and dirty bathrooms. It doesn’t get much more dive-y than this. 915 U St NW  Washington, D.C. 20020
  • The Wonderland Ballroom: Hipsters, dancing and beer are the mainstays of a place like this, and if that’s what you’re into, the Wonderland Ballroom won’t disappoint. If that’s not what you’re into, then make it what you’re into, grab a partner and an ironic beard and make your night happen cap’n. 1101 Kenyon St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009
  • Dan’s Cafe: Just the filthy hole in the wall you need when you’re looking for a night of unabashed ugly drinking. You get your booze in a ketchup bottle and you shut your mouth about anything else. A true American dive, if you’ve ever seen one. 2315 18th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009

Eatin’ and Drinkin’ – Best Bars with Food:

  • Churckey: Want a huge beer AND cider collection plus delicious bar food? Then go to Churckey. They have a ton of appetizers and sandwiches for those drunk munchies needs. I mean, Mac and Cheese Sticks? Flatbreads? Come on. 1337 14th Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
  • Dodge City DC: It’s a tiny hipster bar that serves some delicious sausages and even does Sunday brunch. Apparently it’s also one of the best places to pick up hipster chicks. Sweet deal. 917 U Street NW, Washington D.C., 20001
  • American Ice Company: It’s all about the beer and barbeque at the American Ice Company. Yeah, it’s primarily a bar, but it serves up some bangin’ barbequed pork, chicken, or brisket along with sausages and a variety of deliciously terrible for you sides like nachos and chili. 917 V Street NW, Washington D.C., 2000
  • Boundary Stone: They’ve been voted Best Bar and Best Wings in Reader’s Choice Best of D.C. so they’ve got to be doing something right. Besides those carnivorous wings, they’ve got a vegetarian option: Seitan Honey Hot Wings. Boundary Stone makes sure to cater to both their carnivore and herbivore patrons. 116 Rhode Island Avenue NW, Washington D.C., 20001
  • Black Jack: Some cocktails and a pizza sound like a good way to spend a night. If you don’t want pizza, they have sandwiches and some dip. Simple bar menu, but hey, it’s primarily a bar. Also, their bar symbol is a bright red monkey with wings and a top hat holding a beer. 1612 14th Street NW, Washington D.C., 20009
  • Dickson Wine Bar: It’s a wine bar, so the menu is going to be fancy. It’s a bunch of meats and cheeses plus Banh Mi. Yeah, out of left field, they serve Vietnamese sandwiches. So if you have a hankerin’ for wine and Vietnamese food, hit up the Dickson Wine Bar. 903 U St NW, Washington D.C., 20001

Bars For Those of You Who Aren’t So Into Beer

Hate beer but love drinking? Here’s some bars that are great for those of you who favor a “lighter” drink.

Margaritas

  • Masa 14: Oh this place has margaritas alright. Along with every other kind of drink you could ever want, be it beer or wine or varying types of tequila. Even more, they have a menu of small plates. So if you have a group of friends with vastly different tastes in alcohol, try out Masa 14. 1825 14th Street NW, Washington D.C., 20009
  • Rosa Mexicano: Their variety of margaritas are great for those of you who love your tequila cold and sweet. And to those of you who are scared of tequila (I don’t blame you) they have beer cocktails, which sound fabulous. 575 7th Street at F Street NW, Washington D.C., 20004
  • Poste: Gin and strawberry/thyme infused tonic? Sign me up! Poste boasts a very unique cocktail menu as well as a beer and wine menu for those less adventurous drinkers. 555 8th Street NW, Washington D.C., 20004

Whiskey

  • Boundary Stone: Holy whiskey, this place has everything. They have bourbon, rye, Irish, chalkboard, scotch, and more. You could easily spend a month’s rent at this place just trying what they have to offer. Ready to take that risk? 116 Rhode Island Ave NW, Washington D.C., 20001
  • Irish Whiskey Public House: I don’t know much about whiskey but from the little I do know I can say that this bar has an impressive selection of whiskeys. And if a whiskey connoisseur drags you here but you yourself can’t stand it, never fear for they have a huge beer and cocktail selection. 1207 19th Street NW, Washington D.C.
  • Little Miss Whiskey Golden Dollar: For those of you with simple tastes, this bar serves a large selection of beer and whiskey. Plus they have really friendly bartenders. Sounds like a nice place to be. 1104 H Street NE, Washington D.C., 20002

Cocktails

  • Black Jack: I can’t do much justice to Black Jack’s cocktail offerings but I can offer an example of one of their many options: Rooibos Tea Infused Corn Whiskey, Leopold Brothers Blackberry Liquor, Mint, Lemon. Weird yet cool, right? Don’t worry, they have beer, too. 1612 14th Street NW, Washington D.C., 20009
  • Bourbon Steak: I’m pretty sure they have almost every kind of alcohol you could ever want to drink, from cocktails to cordials. Check out their ridiculously extensive drink list online or just wander in and be surprised. 2800 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington D.C., 20007
  • Tabard Inn: They have a cocktail named for Wednesday Adams and Mark Twain so that has to be a good indicator. Tabard Inn also has a bunch of light bar food for those of you who like to munch on something while you drink. 1739 N Street NW, Washington D.C., 20036

Food

  • Ripple: They have a Grilled Cheese Bar. Why do I have to tell you anything else about Ripple? 3417 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington D.C.
  • Tune Inn: Ok, so these guys only really serve beer but they have a ridiculous menu full of the greasiest foods you will ever consume. So either hit this place after the bar, or just eat while other people drink. Mac and Cheese Wedges? Fried Pickles? A Beer Batter Burger? My heart slowed down just reading the menu. 331 Pennsylvania Avenue SE, Washington D.C., 20003
  • A&D Neighborhood Bar: Drunk food extraordinares should be their name. This bar has a tiny menu because, obviously, it’s all about the booze BUT the menu is a good one. I mean patty melts and poutine? Get in my happy drunken belly. 1314 N Street NW, Washington D.C., 20001

Wine

  • Dickson Wine Bar: It doesn’t have beer and it was Banh Mi a.k.a. a delicious Vietnamese sandwich. It also has a variety of meats and cheeses to pair with the wines but I think the Banh Mi is the coolest part. 903 U Street NW, Washington D.C., 20001
  • Room 11: Sparkling wine? Dessert wine? All kinds of wine! Plus a small menu of other drinks for those who don’t like fermented grapes. They also have a small menu of food options to pair with your wine. 3234 11th Street NW, Washington D.C., 20010
  • Eat Bar: They have the most organized wine list I have ever seen. It’s organized not just by type of wine, but by the flavors, such as “Rich and Floral Whites,” etc. etc. Besides a beautiful wine menu, they have a ridiculous food menu. Why ridiculous? BLT doughnuts, mini hot dogs, fried chicken, and more. It doesn’t seem like wine food but they also have the usual selection of meats and cheeses that seem more apropos for wine drinkers.  2761 Washington Boulevard, Arlington, VA, 22201
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