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occasionally times will come when

it is a 100 degrees with a 100 percent humidity outside.

times when your AC is broken and you are wearing a kaftan,

that you are maybe contemplating belting so you could leave the house in it.

times when your neighbour will stop by to borrow seasoning salt, and decide to stay

so

you BOTH can melt together on the couch.

well IN TIMES LIKE THIS

what one should do is:

open the windows

pour oneself a filthy martini in a nicely frosted glass

and put

on

VICTOR VICTORIA

the seminal Blake Edwards 1982 transvestite comedy featuring Julie Andrews

as the woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman.

make more martinis at every sing/dance sequence and by the time

the final switcheroooooooooooo takes place

(and what a switcheroooooo it is) you’ll be shadier than the titular shady da-aaaaa-meeeeeee from Sevileeeeeeeee

(b- flat please)

+

+

+

Toddy:

You were going to trade your virtue for a meatball!

Victoria:

Well, I was out of my mind with hunger at the time, and at least it was something for something.

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