Stereotypes abound for the LGBTQ+ community, and while some can be ignorant (and even harmful), there are some benign ones that just check out for certain people. For example, I am a queer woman who has never U-Haul’d or owned a cat, but I very intensely love watching sports, which is p. gay of me.
I decided to ask a couple of my favorite fellow queer people from the realms of music, comedy, film and theater to tell me about which specific stereotypes/tropes they embody, and some even gave me the added bonus of revealing the gayest things they’ve ever Googled! (Mine probably still has to be from back in ninth grade when I routinely searched for fan fiction from Once and Again, the show where Mischa Barton and Evan Rachel Wood have big gay crushes on each other.) So go ahead and check all those out, tell us which ones apply to YOU, and please enjoy the last weekend of Pride Month 2019 wherever you are!
I am a complete bisexual stereotype in the worst way. You know all the work bisexual people do to show we’re just like good old fashioned straight people? I’ve blown it up. I’m non-monogamous. I have threesomes. I’ve dated a man and a woman at the same time. I’m flirty. It’s everything that if a bisexual character was that way on TV, people would be up in arms. And yet, here I am! Existing and being myself. But I always think, there’s no reason to be “respectable” in my way of being. Respectable to who? Why do I have to earn straight people’s respect to be taken seriously? I’m the way I am! And being bi is just the cherry on top.
MOVING IN TOGETHER. Yes, it’s true. Us lezzies love to move in together and at lightning speed. I personally waited for 10 months (currently holding the World Record for Longest Wait Time). However, it’s not unusual for couples to move in after 2-3 months. I’ve even heard of couples moving in after 3 weeks. I’m sure there were factors. Was one of their leases up after the 4th or 5th date? Was it a 3 week date, and the pair just said “fuck it?! I’m so tired!” “Was one dating Kate McKinnon and knew it’d never get better than that? Most likely they were #obsessed and co-dependent AF. I can vouch for this stereotype because I didn’t think U-Hauling* was a thing until it happened to me. It’s a lesbian complex that we’ll never be able to shake. And a word to the straights who love to make fun of us for our biological desire to be attached at the hip?! I’m #SORRYNOTSORRY that we love to wake up to our best friend every day. If that makes us lame, then I’ll be lame with my co-pilot all day.
Gayest Thing I’ve Ever Googled Bonus: “Is Rachel Weisz a lesbian?” Only to be let down by a thousand images of Daniel Craig in very very short shorts.
Ugh I’m such a femme lesbian stereotype (lol). I used to be on that Tumblr page Girls who Look Like Justin Bieber for hours. I’m definitely attracted to snapbacks and checkered vans – I just can’t help it, it’s so hot!!!
Whenever Cody (Stickels, director and editor of A Night at Switch n’ Play) & I travel overseas we always get the unsolicited “So are y’all sisters?” question.
Gayest Thing I’ve Ever Googled Bonus: Carol memes.
Mark Mauriello, creator and star of the immersive queer nightclub musical OSCAR at The Crown at 3 Dollar Bill
I’m very funny on Twitter.
Gayest Thing I’ve Ever Googled Bonus: “Watch Dance Moms online free.”
My girlfriend of 5.5 years and I HAVE THE SAME NAME. Need I say more?
Gayest Thing I’ve Ever Googled Bonus: To make each other laugh, my girlfriend and I will spontaneously say in a sad, confused voice “Am I gay?”. We say it when a hot girl comes on the TV, or when I’m wearing cargo pants, pretty much when I do anything… because when I was in college, I googled “am I gay?” while hanging out with a group of friends, talking about my non-existent love life and dedicated Gena Davis-stanning Tumblr account.
It’s hilarious and cute that I googled it, but also sad when you think about the confused, insecure teenager typing it. At the time, my girlfriend and I were very close friends. Neither of us had had any same-sex relationships or experiences, nor had we confronted our sexuality in any way. I would joke a lot about being single and how much boys suck (I KNOW, I know, that’s not a substitute for a personality). But I wasn’t consciously aware of my sexuality, I had been single my entire adult life, and I was scared that there was something deeply broken inside of me that made me need to pretend I had feelings for any men I tried to date. I pretended I was joking as I typed it into the search bar, but I also remember the relief I felt introducing the thought to myself. I definitely went back to the search when I was alone to try to find an answer.
Some GREAT news – when I googled “am I gay?” in 2012 or 2013, the first fucking thing that came up was a sponsored ad for a Christian website that provided suggestions for how to suppress those feelings! It was like “tell your pastor the things you’ve been thinking” and “many of us go through this phase”- YIKES! I just tried it again to see if that’s still the first result, and hallelujah 2019: the first page ranges from fun Buzzfeed quizzes to official health organizations with resources, coming out advice, and more. I also just learned about HOCD (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder), a condition where a heterosexual person has “intrusive thoughts” about being gay. Man, thank God the internet has answers for everyone.