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We love sandwiches- so much so that I would probably have sex with them. I’m pretty sure there are other of sandwich perverts out there so I thought thought I’d start a series where we can detail all our SILFs– Sandwiches (we) I’d Like to Fuck.

Today we tackle the bacon-tastic Luther
The Sandwich: The Luther @ ChurchKey on 14th Street NW . $10. (comes with fries)

Hours: The Sandwich is only available on Sundays, before 8pm as their football season special

(sandwich photo from jesse tittsworth’s facebook)

We make a lot of food porn references on this site, but I will say, never have I ever sunk my teeth into anything so intensely indulgent and just plain carnally satisfying as The Luther (named, yes, after Luther Vandross). The concept is as follows: Birch & Barley’s buttermilk fried chicken (perfectly tender) and strips of applewood bacon (perfectly crispy), sandwiched between two halves of a horizontally-split freshly fired brioche doughnut (kudos to Tiffany MacIsaac, the pastry chef for somehow making it perfectly fried but not too oily), glazed delicately in maple jus and dappled with perfectly oven-baked candied pecan pieces.

I think you will notice I said “perfectly” not once, not twice, not even three times but FOUR FULL TIMES in that previous sentence. Because, in this case, there’s really no other way to describe it.

And even though you know sort of what to expect (the description is there, on the menu, DARING YOU), still, when it arrives and is placed squarely in front of you, staring you down, you kind of take a half step back. You can see yourself looking at the sandwich glistening on your plate and you whisper: “Am I really going to do this? How do I even pick it up? It will fall apart for sure”

But it doesn’t. You grab a half, you carry it to your mouth and you take that first bite. And it is everything you hoped for/feared: sinfully sweet and salty, oily but crunchy, melting together you in your mouth but not in your hand. And then, and this is the surprising part, because you kind of think you’d want to savor it or it may be too much to eat in one sitting: YOU JUST SCARF IT DOWN.

You look at your dining companions, you look at your Kasteel Tripel (now tasting a little more bitter since nothing stands up to this sweetness without crumbling) and you just INHALE THAT WHOLE THING. JUST LIKE THAT.

And then….then you take a nap. There’s no other way of dealing with it. Just sleep it off.

To quote one of my co-diners: “If this kills me, I’m ok with it”.