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I thought we’d get into holiday mode this edition with a look back at Home Alone 2: Lost In New York, which clearly takes place in multiple spots around the city, but is perhaps best known for its scenes shot at the iconic Plaza Hotel.

Disclaimer – a lot of people felt that Home Alone 2 was a letdown in comparison with the ultimate OG film, but I was always pretty obsessed with the sequel – for starters, HELL YES on that Talkboy, and EXTRA HELL YES on the hotel room service. (Kevin was living my childhood dreams, albeit dangerously.)

Of course, my enthusiasm for the movie took a drastic hit when motherfucking Donald Trump became POTUS, and now I feel triggered whenever that cameo rolls around, but you know what? Sometimes it helps to talk about our feelings, so we’re gonna do it RIGHT NOW.

In case you weren’t aware, Trump purchased the hotel in 1988, and (unsurprisingly) it amassed a huge amount of debt, resulting in a prepackaged bankruptcy agreement, eventually changing hands altogether. After acquiring the property, Trump said “I haven’t purchased a building, I have purchased a masterpiece – the Mona Lisa. For the first time in my life, I have knowingly made a deal that was not economic – for I can never justify the price I paid, no matter how successful the Plaza becomes.” (I wonder if Trump supporters will ever be able to justify the price they paid for the destruction of our country LOL!) But things appeared to be (more or less) peachy keen in Home Alone 2, hence we area forever forced to look at this man’s mug next to Macaulay Culkin’s.

I will admit that if Trump hadn’t given clear and accurate instructions for how to reach the lobby (aka “DOWN THE HALL AND TO THE LEFT”), Kevin might’ve had to settle for a lesser luxury hotel, and then we wouldn’t have had the pure joy of tipping with gum and smoochin’ with Jeff. NO THANK YOU! So I guess with that in mind, I can borderline bear Trump’s presence. (But only just.)

The Plaza Hotel has fully capitalized on its nineties on screen fame, too. They offer a special Home Alone 2 package, which includes the following:

  • Home Alone 2 Paint Can, Home Alone DVDs and Backpack
  • 10 Scoop Ice Cream Sundae Extravaganza
  • Fast Pass and Personal Shopping Experience, $100 Gift Card to FAO Schwarz

I’m not entirely sure why anyone would want a commemorative paint can (even if it played a role in the film), but maybe it’s to please the rich guy who has it all, idk how wealthy people’s brains work. I can fully get behind the 10 scoop ice cream sundae, though, and the shopping spree at FAO Schwarz across the street. (However, I do feel the package could be made better if it included a limo ride complete with cheese pizza. Maybe these people should hire me.)

So if you’re looking to relive all the magic sans Trump and sans homeless pigeon lady, then this is for you! Rates begin at an ultra-reasonable $680! (Wow, what a steal! So cool that the price of a room was $2.50 when the hotel opened its doors around 100 years ago and now it’s astronomically more!)

But even if you don’t have that kind of cash (I sure don’t), you can still get the experience by cruising on through any day of the week. I have taken a shine to using the bathroom by the bar whenever my friends and I do our annual holiday window walk on 5th Ave, during which we get drunk and then criticize the shit out of the displays. Getting drunk requires bathroom breaks, and if you’re gonna go public, I would highly suggest going luxury.

So there you have it! A brief explanation for why Donald Trump ruins everything, even good movies! If only Kevin had better utilized his Talkboy to spy on the right people, he could have changed history! (JK, nobody would’ve cared. But in all seriousness, let’s Make Talkboys Great Again, amirite?)