WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy:
- Patriot / Comrade Ovechkin wants to steal the Stanley Cup and take it to Moscow. (via CNN)
- Our new leader confirms that Russian prostitutes are indeed the best in the world. (via Vox)
- Is there a secret occult message hidden in the Nutcracker? The people in Novosibirsk want to know! (via BBC)
- Did our good friends in Russia hack the Sherlock finale? Who can say! (via NBC)
- In more serious news, our new Russian leaders are looking to decriminalize some forms of domestic violence. 2017 really us going to be great. (via CNN)
- Back to fun news! A Russian billionaire hired both Elton John and Mariah Carey to perform at his granddaughter’s wedding in London. That sounds nice. (via Yahoo)
- Are lots of your friends and loved ones dying suddenly? Try this Russian ‘Uber for funerals’ app called Umer. (via The Next Web)
- A Russian metal company is making fun new coins with our leaders face on them. (via CBS)
