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The season finale of Killing Eve (titled “God I’m Tired”) aired Sunday night on BBC America, and I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. If you haven’t watched it yet, or GASP haven’t watched any of the episodes yet, then please get out of here and go do that right now! (Here’s a breakdown of what’s so great about it if you need further convincing.) I also really need to word-vomit all of my feelings, meaning things are about to get REAL SPOILERY up in here // please don’t say I didn’t warn you, because I am literally warning you right now!

Just to clarify what I think is already abundantly clear, SPOILERS AHEAD!

DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE THINGS SPOILED!

OKAY! Now we can proceed! As you may remember from the seventh episode, Villanelle has kidnapped Konstantin’s daughter. Ordinarily, the kidnapping of a minor might be cause for concern, but in this case, the kid is a little firecracker, and the banter between her and Villanelle is the best! More importantly, there’s a scene where the daughter asks Villanelle if it’s hard to be “bad”. Villanelle tells her it’s not hard if you practice, which makes me feel like homegirl wasn’t “born this way” re: killer instincts.

The pair head for Ana’s apartment (the teacher Villanelle used to bone, and whose husband she castrated) to pick up the money and passport Villanelle believed to be hidden in a coat. Whoops! As we all know, Eve was five steps ahead, and there’s nothing there anymore except a note reading “Sorry baby”, just like the one Villanelle put in Eve’s suitcase a few episodes back. CLEVER, EVE!

Ana and Villanelle have a showdown in the apartment, and Ana ends up shooting herself before Villanelle can do it. After such a traumatic scene, naturally Villanelle and Konstantin’s daughter go out to lunch. Eve and Konstantin get in touch, and they agree to meet at the restaurant with Villanelle’s passport and cash. Konstantin winds up dead, Villanelle escapes, and Eve’s trail runs cold. She’s at the airport with Kenny and her boss waiting to go back to the UK defeated when, to make matters way worse, her boss essentially fires her. GR8.

But it gets better! So much better! Elena comes through with a lead to an apartment in Paris that she thinks might belong to Villanelle. Eve says “PEACE, Y’ALL!” and goes straight to the French address, which, of course, is Villanelle’s. That grumpy old lady from across the hall gives Eve a key to get in (convenient!), and Eve proceeds to pop open a bottle of champagne and destroy everything.

When Villanelle (looking p. haggard) returns, she’s like, “Umm…what?” Eve proceeds to tell Villanelle that she can’t stop thinking about her (Villanelle agrees, and says “I masturbate about you a lot,” because sharing is caring), and everybody warily puts their weapons down, and the two of them lie down next to each other on Villanelle’s bed?! And you’re like, “Oh my god are they ACTUALLY GONNA BONE?!” And for a minute, it really looks like it! They turn to look at each other, Eve’s all “I’ve never done this kind of thing before,” and Villanelle’s like, “Don’t worry, I’m a total pro!”

BUT THEN. The “NOOOOOOO!” heard round the world happens. Eve fucking stabs Villanelle in the stomach! What even the actual fuck! Villanelle’s like, “Why did you do that? I really liked you!” and I don’t know if I’m not supposed to believe her, BUT I DO. So then Eve has immediate remorse, and tries to help her. Too little too late, ya jerk! Villanelle shoots the gun by the bed in Eve’s direction, Eve ducks for cover in the kitchen, and then when she reemerges Villanelle isn’t there anymore, just a lot of blood. And the old lady comes back in to go, “She’s gone!” (I mean, duh) and the episode ends with Eve saying, “Where?!”

UGHHHHHHH. How are we expected to go back to our daily lives when such a cliffhanger has been dropped on our heads?! Also, I get that I should cut Eve some slack seeing as Villanelle is like, dangerous and unpredictable AF, but also WHAT??? WHEN IS SEASON TWO?!

Despite Eve ruining all our lives, I still stand by the fact that this is one of the greatest TV shows ever. It’s got strong female leads, solid queer representation, and (most importantly) excellent acting and writing. That being said, if any of the producers happen reading this, it would be THE greatest TV show ever if you would just let Villanelle make out with Eve a little next time. Even though Eve stabbed her in the stomach. And I imagine that requires some level of trust rebuilding. Amen.

SEE YOU NEXT SEASON!

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