A few weeks ago I was presented with the opportunity to grab my yoga mat and head to Capitale on K Street for Grip the Mat’s Soul and Spirits event- basically yoga and cocktails, which could be either amazing or horrible (especially if you combine the two). I had been debated on canceling all day long, it was cold, it was a long drive, I wanted to go to a bar crawl with my friends. But I was just too damn curious, so needless to say, I put on my least disgusting pair of yoga pants and bit the bullet.
It is 3 p.m. on a Saturday and I am ass up in Downward Facing Dog with about 40 other yogis on the floor of a K St. nightclub. The familiar beep of a text message notification just went off suspiciously near the front of my mat. I had left it there in case any brilliant thoughts for this article rambled through my brain at any point during the hour-long, high-intensity yoga class, which was to be followed by free elaborately curated cocktails. I had seen the menu on my way in and was already excited for something called the Mexican Hot Chocolate with whiskey and melk (whatever that is). Because winter.
Great, now I am THAT jerk who doesn’t know rule number 1 of yoga (and movies)- turn off your cell phone. I slyly turn over my phone as the instructor gives the verbal cue for Upward Facing Dog, and much to my surprise the only thing flashing back to me is the time and a few old emails, therefore it is…not. my. phone. My brief moment of relief turns to anger as I scan the area to find the (probably rabid) creature responsible for messing with my zen. And that’s when I spot him- yoga bro. Yoga bro, who doesn’t know how to turn off his Tinder notifications.
SERIOUSLY!? I stare him down, hoping he’ll catch on to the daggers of anger pouring out of my eyeballs. We finally make eye contact midway through Warrior Two, although of course yoga bro thinks I’m staring at him for a completely different reason, and smiles back. NO NO NO! I had previously been so enjoying the blacklight yoga, despite the fact that it was daytime and it felt a bit strange being in a nightclub. The teacher was excellent, and I am a complete sucker for good yoga music, which was pounding gently out of the club’s speakers (think Incubus’s “Aqueous Transmission”). The vibe was much more delightful than SoulCycle. And yoga bro was ruining it.
Now this was getting ridiculous. I finally reach over and switch his phone to silent. I’m not even certain he noticed. Ugh, people, someone get me a damn Mexican Hot Chocolate with melk.
All in all it was an AMAZING experience, Grip the Mat’s events are worth every penny. Just silence your phone (please).
Grip the Mat periodically has events throughout the city, their next event Vinyasa to Vino at a Baked Joint on March 9 is SOLD OUT but stay tuned for future events (or head to their Vinyasa to Vino’s in Boston or LA). If you like yoga and booze you should go.