I’m drinking a mango White Claw as I write this. Not because it’s the best flavor, but because after driving to four different liquor stores (and getting trapped in a College Park parking garage) to find every flavor of White Claw, I have a few cans left over. It’s hard to deny the appeal of the stuff. It’s 5% alcohol while coming in at a whopping 100 calories, its flavors elicit tropical drinks and its name is… very evocative.
Love it or hate it, alcoholic seltzer like White Claw has been the drink of choice this past summer and D.C. bars have taken notice. As noted by Eater, some places have started selling the cans by the bucket, while other enterprising businesses have created booze cruises dedicated to White Claw. Summer might be winding to an end, but White Claw still feels unstoppable.
Which is why we gathered some of the smartest minds at BYT to rank each White Claw flavor from most D.C. to least D.C. Not which flavors are the best or the worst, but which flavors remind us of the rat infested, limestone covered, circle filled, beautiful, weird, confusing city we call home.
We’ll probably update this when White Claw comes out with their autumn themed line. We’re calling it now, Pumpkin Spice White Claw is coming.
“I would stash this in my bag for an outdoor concert.” -T.H.
“I would drink the hell out of this on a beach, but it’s way too tropical for D.C.” -K.D.
“Tastes like a summer Friday at noon.” -N.F.
“Pleasing odor, yet it has the faint after taste of bad business decisions.” -J.T.
5. Black Cherry
“Gross. It’s like a Metro car without AC. The old kind with the shit carpet.” -N.F.
“Smells like Adams Morgan at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. The aftertaste is surprisingly not bad.” -T.H.
“I have never had a black cherry, so I have no idea if this is an accurate flavor… Just like I’ve never been to Buffalo Billiards. Both seem bad.” -J.T.
“Tastes like shitty fruit punch, the kind that comes in a plastic barrel. This reminds me of small children, so it’s both the most D.C. and the least D.C.” -K.D.
4. Ruby Grapefruit
“This feels like drinking a grapefruit crush in Ocean City. It’s D.C. adjacent… Like a three hour drive.” -K.D.
“The taste is so subtle I almost can’t tell that it’s there, like the catacombes of D.C.” -J.T.
“Reminds me of a Flintstones vitamin, but I’m not mad about it.” -N.F.
“Always a winner. Delicious.” -T.H.
“This is delicious, yet familiar. I feel like I’ve been here before. This is every D.C. bar.” -J.T.
“Blech. Reminds me of porta potties at a D.C. festival.” -T.H.
“This feels like having a shitty mixed drink at a bar in Tenleytown (circa 2013). Medium to high D.C. vibes because it’s good, but I’m still not going to buy a case.” -K.D.
“Smells like a Jolly Rancher but tastes kind of sour? It’s a swampy District summer in a can.” -N.F.
“I hate it and I never want to drink it again. It reminds me of D.C.’s best pop-up, DC9’s Vodka Tonic Bar.” -K.D.
“The beverage equivalent of a bad Tinder date. Bearable, but nothing to write home about.” -N.F.
“This is water. Just water. All water. It is bad. Anacostia River bad.” -J.T.
“Tastes a little like feet.” -T.H.
“Natural lime suggests there is an unnatural lime out there, which is the kind of dichotomy D.C. thrives on.” -J.T.
“Refreshing. Thirst quenching. Rooftop bar.” -T.H.
“Smells like a Lip Smackers gloss. Tastes like a rooftop bar with your faves.” -N.F.
“Smells like a bad gin and tonic. Tastes like a watered down gin & tonic. This could have been so much worse, which is making me love it more. How D.C. could you get?” -K.D.