Tomorrow night, the Post-College Confusion Tour returns to Sixth & I downstairs, featuring some great talent from New York and D.C. A few of the featured comedians took some time to answer our absurd questions with even more absurd answers.
- Dan St. Germain (VH1’s Best Week Ever)
Write a haiku about your college experience.
A brisk cold morn ing breeze
wake up nak-ed in Best Buy
why is Dad here too?
Write a haiku about your post-college experience.Â
Work-at Pink – Be-rry
co-mmun-i-ca-tions De -gree
cry to self in sleep
What do you wish you had actually learned in college?
I wished I had learned more creative ways to ask for money from my parents.
What’s the most useless college major?
The most useless college major? It’s a tie between screen writing and Zumba Instructing.
What is the least funny thing about college?
The least funny thing about college? Really anything that involves a fraternity and a web cam.
- Adam Conover (College Humor)
Write a haiku about your college experience.
I learned a lot
Mostly about french fry toppings
Write a haiku about your post-college experience.Â
College students think they’re smart
In fact they’re giant babies
What do you wish you had actually learned in college?
I wish I had learned to talk to college girls. I was terrible at it. Now I can do it, but I’m too old to make use of my skill.
What’s the most useless college major?
Tie between Communications and Business. At least English and Philosophy help you develop as a person and think critically about the world. Communications and Business are a way for people who only aspire to be heartless flacks to kill four years drinking themselves stupid.
What is the least funny thing about college?
The shockingly high sexual assault rate. Sorry, you asked.
- Jared Freid (MTV’s Failosphy)
Write a haiku about your college experience.
Eat Sleep Poop Repeat
Dogs and College Grads Alike
Dogs smell better too
Write a haiku about your post-college experience.Â
Finance Confusion
Relationship Confusion
I day drink a lot
What do you wish you had actually learned in college?
There should be a class called “Adult Shit.” A class where they teach you about all of the stuff that you hear adults talk about and kind of brush off because “that’s adult shit.” 401k’s, health care, opening mail, setting alarms, cooking dinner and immediately washing the dishes, putting on a duvet cover, and how to get through an episode of The Big Bang Theory.
What’s the most useless college major?
Any major you can achieve online. I shouldn’t be able to get funny cat videos and a minor in foreign relations at the same place.
What is the least funny thing about college?
The attire. Everyone looks like they are dressed for a flight from Kansas to North Dakota; too many sweatsuits.
- Sara Armour (Laughing Skull Festival)
Write a haiku about your college experience.
The text you send him
no matter how hard you try
always seems crazy
Write a haiku about your post-college experience.Â
I am an adult
It doesn’t mean that much
I still get blackout
What do you wish you had actually learned in college?
How to cook.
What’s the most useless college major?
Liberal Arts.
What is the least funny thing about college?
Herpes.
