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Memorial Day is coming up, and to honor those who’ve fought for our country, it is imperative that we shove as many grilled meats into our faces as humanly possible. To make your hot dog spread more patriotic, though, you might consider paying homage to the three Americans who are poised to possibly become the next POTUS! That’s right, I’ve got some ideas for you to create wieners in the style of potential winners! WIENERS WINNERS WIENERS WINNERS WIENERS WINNERS.

Let’s start with the Hillary Clinton dog, shall we? It’s very simple to make; just throw that frank in a bun and douse it in hot sauce, aka Hillary’s favorite condiment! (Then, top it with more of your favorite things, because they are probably her favorite things, too!)


And now for the Bernie Sanders dog! This one takes a steady hand and a diplomatic mind, you guys; it is equal parts mustard and ketchup, because equality matters, even when condiments are involved. Make sure these are readily accessible to ALL of the people at your BBQ, not just the rich old white guys.


Last, here we have the Donald Trump dog! To make it, take a regular size bun and put a cocktail wiener inside. Then, probably just throw it in the garbage! Interestingly, the final product kind of looks a little vaginal. (Is this tiny wiener secretly playing the woman card?!)


And there you have it! If you are still hung up on Ted Cruz, just take a bunch of buns and pour hundreds of cans of Chunky soup on top. Otherwise, enjoy your ultra-presidential Memorial Day BBQ!