A password will be e-mailed to you.

You would have to be living under a very non-nerdy rock not to have noticed the launch of Pokémon Go the last few days, but assuming you DO live under a very non-nerdy rock (what’s the rent like these days, by the way?), I will go ahead and fill you in that, yes, the free app has indeed made its explosive debut. Now, my phone is ancient AF, meaning I don’t have the luxury of offering up all of my data to third parties in the name of capturing Ponyta semi-IRL; instead, I am forced to continue my twenty-year-old tradition of playing Pokémon Stay in the seclusion of my own home, occasionally attending Pokémon Symphonic Evolutions at Madison Square Garden as bait to get me to walk out my front door and be near other humans. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been hugely curious about what other people with less archaic cellular devices have thought about Pokémon Go, so I asked my most trusted cabinet of experts, aka my Facebook friends! Here is what they had to say based on my routine Q+A (spoiler alert – everyone fucking hates Zubats and Doduos):

Alyse says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

20 hours

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

Lots of bonding with strangers. EVERYONE is playing and I live across from Maria Hernandez Park which is a jackpot.

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

46 but I have sold my doubles. I’m sorry “transferred” my doubles.

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

Exeggcute. It was in my friends apartment and on my roommates shoulder. I have pics to prove it happened.

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

Not yet, gotta get my level up. Beggars can’t be choosers this early on.

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

Squirtle (so small, so tiny, so cute)

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

Rattata. Mostly cuz I see them everywhere (in the game as well as outside..side eye to my landlord/the garbage bins)

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

OH YEAH I have recharged three time today alone.

Would you recommend the game?

YES and no. I already dreamed about it last night.

Vanessa says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

I got it the first night it came out. Everyone was talking about and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

Not yet besides just people looking at me weird and then also me laughing to myself on the train because I was flinging pokeballs at the other passengers trying to catch stuff and they had no idea. It’s been a lot fun playing it with my husband though.

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

So far 27 different kinds. I’ve gotten a lot of duplicates.

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

My favorite is the Polliwag because it’s very cute but I don’t remember where I caught it. The funniest so far was when I caught a Rattata sitting on my crotch while I was in bed.

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

I’m of the “catch ‘em all” mentality since if you get a duplicate one you can just transfer it back and get the candy.

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

I’m majorly aging myself here but I didn’t really know much about Pokemon before I started playing this game but if I had to pick I would say Swalot because it’s basically a cute puddle of purple slime that looks like it wants to kiss you but will swallow you whole if you fuck with it and I identify with that.

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

The Doduo. It’s everywhere around Greenpoint/Williamsburg and it just looks kind of stupid and doesn’t really have cool powers.

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

Yes.

Would you recommend the game?

Yes. It’s a lot of fun and it gets you out of the house in a non-shamey way.

Russ says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

Since the day it released in the US — I believe 7/7. My wife, who doesn’t sleep, got it around 11 p.m. the night before. I got it when I woke up.

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

It’s a topic of conversation amongst literally everyone I know at this point, online and off. I suffer p severe social anxiety, which seems like bullshit but is pretty common amongst performer types that I know, and for me the biggest positive is that PoGo gives me incentive to leave the house or take the long walk home.

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

39

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

One of the houses on my block has a stupid fucking dog that I refer to as frito’s THOT, and the other morning I caught a gastly that was just chillin’ inside the dog’s fence, like “What? come fuckin get me”. So I did.

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

I find it hard to bypass catching any pokemon bc the gyms are SO crazy right now that I’m kinda committed to leveling up on my own. That said, doduo is a piece of bullshit and I renamed it “dumbfuck”

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

JIGGLYPUFF 4 LIFE

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

I’m an equal opportunity employer but doduo is shit

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

Is the grass green

Would you recommend the game?

Absolutely.

Keli says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

I’ve had Pokémon Go 2 days

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

I’ve had a few positive interactions! Besides friends being excited about it the one that I thought was the best was when a random person came up to me on the street earlier and started a conversation. She said in a timid voice at first, ‘um… I saw you playing Pokémon and I’m wondering if you can help me. I think my phone is broken because no pokémon are coming up for me.’ After some trouble shooting we figured out there was a glitch. We both parted ways with a ‘Good luck!’

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

I’ve caught 30 Pokémon so far.

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

My fav so far is an Eevee that I caught earlier on the hike at the top of Bear Mountain. I’m just so excited to evolve her because she can take on three forms. And like I’m going for this dark/plant theme overall, but you like NEED a well rounded group to tackle the gyms. I’m hoping she’ll turn into a Flareon so I can have this cute af, but deadly fire Pokémon.

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

I did bypass a couple tonight walking around BedStuy. BedStuy is RIFE with Doduos and Zubats. I caught a Dodrio already, so like I don’t need to catch any more to evolve one into a Dodrio, so it’s just like catching them to catch them, and like I’m over it. I also caught a Golbat, and the Zubats are SO HARD to hit with a Pokéball, so like SO over that, too. I’ve passed on each, one time.

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

My fav is Jinx. People hate Jinx, but, honey, that drag look SLAYS!

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

Ugh, ok the weakest link is Snorlax. I just could never get that asshole to do anything!

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

The game drains my battery like you would not believe. I even found the low battery setting and it’s still like, ‘Want to catch a Pokemon today?” :walks around block, 50% battery gone: “lol. good luck, gotta catch them all, lol.”

Would you recommend the game?

I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE GAME TO EVERYONE.

Dan says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

Downloaded it the night it came out on Wednesday. You can login using either a Google account or a ‘Pokemon Trainer Club’ account (for the hardcore)… and then PTC accounts weren’t able to login until Saturday morning which was a big slap in the face to the hardcore!

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

Nothing positive so far other than chatting with the few friends who are into it — my boyfriend getting annoyed with me while we walk down the block isn’t very positive!

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

I’ve caught/evolved 32 unique Pokemon. A ton of duplicates.

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

Caught Psyduck by the Gowanus Canal — unfortunately a Tentacruel fled by the canal. Made perfect sense for a Tentacruel to be chilling there.

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

A true master will never let any go!

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

Slowbro is really dope, looking forward to catching it or evolving it from it’s evolution Slowpoke!

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link?

Tired of seeing Zubats obviously!

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

Like no other!

Would you recommend the game?

It’s… ok. As a fan of the actual games (and not just the originals), this is very basic but they plan on updating it and adding features so might as well give it a try. Plus it’s free to play. You can spend real life money on it but I haven’t had a need to yet in the few days I’ve played it.

Wendy says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

Two days.

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

I went to a show last night at Alphaville and found an Ekans in the bathroom. I bragged about it when I got out and made friends with a couple of girls who went in the bathroom to catch him too.

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

4

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

The Ekans in Alphaville’s bathroom. (I hope this becomes a thing and people go to Alphaville just to catch him)

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

Zubats suck. I was on a boat and I thought I would catch water pokemons but it was just full of Zubats.

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

Jigglypuff. Sorry not sorry.

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

Weedle.

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

I don’t think so.

Would you recommend the game?

Yes!

Jenn says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

I’ve had it for two days.

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

I was waiting at a restaurant with my family and my mom asked where I wandered off. “Oh I was catching Pokemon,” and some random girl nearby was like “WHERE.” I pointed to where I caught a Nidoran and she ran off. My dad also told me, “Be careful anak.* some guy got hit trying to catch Pichaku. It’s trending.” *Anak is an affectionate Filipino term for ‘my child.’

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

22 + 9 eggs

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

I caught Poliwag in a cab as we were pulling up to my apartment. So stressful ! I never caught one in the last Game Boy edition, so it felt so nice to finally get one. I’ve been traveling in cars and planes, so it’s pretty challenging to grab resources or Pokemon while moving. The good news is that if you tap on a Pokemon fast enough in a car, it will just appear in front of you.

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

Not yet, the candy / evolution mechanic is an interesting incentive to collect multiples. You have more room than in the original games. And when you transfer a multiple to the Professor, you get candy back in return.

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

I was always a fan of Psyduck from the cartoon. But I tend to impersonate Pikachu and Jiggly Puff the most in person.

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

Metapod, dude. I mean, Butterfree is worth it but like…it literally sits there and hardens its shell.

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

Yes, but I am constantly plugged in. I specifically fly on Jet Blue because they have outlets.

Would you recommend the game?

Yes, even if you don’t know Pokemon very well. It’s a fun thing to do with friends. It’s so stupid, you just have to get over how ridiculous it looks. Super competitive and funny.

Hillary says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

Downloaded it Saturday

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

I was walking down the street explaining it to someone and walked by someone who was also explaining it to someone and we were both holding our phones up like losers. While I saw several people out and about looking for pocket monsters, I didn’t engage them in conversation about it.

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

9

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

I caught a Squirtle which was exciting because he was always my favorite starter Pokemon and on the TV show he was in a squad where they all wore sunglasses (see below). The crazy thing is that I caught him by the Nassau Ave G stop on Manhattan Avenue which is NO place for a water pokemon!

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com? And where did THAT happen?

Meh, I caught one pidgey before I was able to be discerning, and then I saw another and skipped it – in part because i don’t know what the point is of having more than one of the same kind in my quest to “catch em all”. I really don’t understand how the game works.

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

First of all, there are some pokemon on here which I have never seen before. What is a Doduo? I definitely never had that trading card. So many to choose from. I think I’d say Eevee because they are very cute but they can involve into several pokemon that are badass and also cute.

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

Magikarp.

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

I don’t know – my phone battery is in bad shape anyway so I have been yet to isolate its effects. I’m more concerned on the effect it will have on my non unlimited data…I really don’t want to tell my dad I went over this billing cycle due to pokemon.

Would you recommend the game?

Why not? I am not sure I’ll still be playing it in a week but it’s always fun to be part of the zeitgeist while it lasts. That being said, I’ve tried to explain it to some people and when someone is like, I don’t understand why you’d want to do that, I tell them it is not for them. If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.

Max says…

How long have you had Pokémon Go?

I’ve had it since July 6th. It wasn’t fully out in the app store but I managed to download the apk through different mean. Thug life.

Any positive human interactions or stories that resulted from downloading that you can tell us so far?

I’ve had one interaction with another person playing Pokemon GO. I’m currently on vacation in the middle of the New York Adirondack Mountains. To get any cell service I need to drive for 15 minutes and go two towns over. There they have four PokeStops and one gym. So the day I installed the game I went over there and ordered a pizza (large pepperoni) for dinner/breakfast/lunch. I was the first to take the gym for team yellow (the best team) while I waited for my pizza. Less than 24 hours later I found out a group of teens took it from me, so like any rational 28 year old I go back in the car to retake it. While standing in the middle of this little town’s post office one of the teens came up to me and we just started talking, joking, and sharing information/hate for the game being down constantly.

How many Pokémon have you caught at this point?

I’ve only been able to catch Pokemon in that small town that’s 15 minutes away but still I’ve managed to capture 60 to do my bidding.

Which is your favorite that you’ve caught, and where did it happen?

That would probably have to be either the Venonat or Hypno (also known as the Bill Cosby Pokemon). Both were caught in the small town.

Did you bypass any because they suck dot com?

Not really. I’ve had a few run away from me, but as things are right now you want to catch all that you find.

What is your favorite Pokémon? (You don’t have to have caught it on Pokémon Go, just generally speaking.)

Chansey is p. cool.

Which Pokémon do you think is the weakest link? (I think it is Weepinbell.)

Weedle. Weedle and Sunken… Klefki is pretty shit too, I mean it’s just a key ring, talk about a weak design.

Does the game fuck up your phone battery?

Yeah I’ve got to bring my external battery if I want to play longer than an hour while outside. My phone also heats up to the point where you don’t want to hold it.

Would you recommend the game?

If you are in an area that get cell service or is semi-populated, yeah, totally.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Do you have Pokémon Go yet? TELL US YOUR FEELINGS.

X
X