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We understand that just because there are 10 (1 Thursday, 3 Friday, 5 Saturday, 1 Sunday, yep, 10) Bentzen Ball shows doesn’t mean that you’ll get your fill of Tig, Ira, Doug, Nick and everyone else. So it’s time to plan your stalking schedule. By stalk, we mean just, like, hang out and be, like, “Oh my god! I love you! You’re great! Let’s be BFF’s 4EVR!,” not like, weird. Don’t be a weirdo. That being said, here are some places you’re likely to find some of the funniest people in DC this week.

Spy Museum
800 F St NW

We love the Spy Museum. We love every place where a cut-out of Mini-Me hangs out. We’re not in love with places where the actual Mini-Me hangs out. That dude isn’t doing so well. It’s best to avoid him.


Phillips Collection
1600 21st St NW

Since the Smithsonian’s are closed, we’re going to suggest to our favorite funny people to visit two of our beloved art galleries that aren’t controlled by the Federal Government.


Corcoran Gallery
500 17th St NW

Remember that time that lady got married at the Corcoran? Well, the lady that got married like five times in one day at the Corcoran? That was awesome. Even though that’s not happening this weekend, at least that we know of, we can hope for five consecutive weddings. Free cake, anyone?

The museum also have amazing art. We’re not forgetting about the art.


Ted’s Bulletin
1818 14th St NW

DC isn’t just about art and weddings and spies. We also eat. We love to indulge at Ted’s Bulletin. Since our Bentzen Ball performers are people and not robots, they’ll also probably like to indulge. What’s more indulgent than a donut milkshake?


Segway Tour with – Capital Segway

We are not too good to play tourist. Segway Tours are one of the few downtown activities not deterred by the shutdown so screw it, we’re going to lean on a thing and slowly move forward and get in bicyclists way. They did it last time too and IT WAS AWESOME.


The Wydown Coffee Bar
1320 U St NW

After all of that leaning, sugar and fine art, we’re going to need a pick-me-up. Since The Wydown isn’t a stones throw from the Lincoln Theatre, U Street Music Hall and whatever is slightly further than a stone’s throw from 9:30 Club and The Howard Theatre, it’s likely you’ll find some funnies at The Wydown.


Local 16
1602 U St NW

1904 14th St NW

Shaw’s Tavern
520 Florida Ave NW

In addition to our Saturday official after-party at the Howard, we have Happy Hour’s planned at Local 16, Policy and Shaw’s Tavern. Don’t be shocked if you run into some headliners before the show. It’s not a secret that some of our performers enjoy cocktails.


A Hotel Right off of 14th St

We’re not going to tell you what hotel the performers are staying at because that’s a little too helpful, but we can give you a word that can help: Kimpton. You figure it out.

Besides the stage, here’s where you may find some of our performers. Remember, be cool. Be nice. Don’t be super weird.