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2015 had some funny moments. 2015 had some sad moments. Here’s the sad news. The good news can be found here.

We asked our favorite funny people what made 2015 a sad year. It’s not as much fun! It’s not a lovely read! We don’t have as many people as we had for the funny because some people only want to remember the good. They’re ‘healthy’ people or something.

Jonathan Katz

Jonathan Katz performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

Bentzen Ball Day 1-14

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

​Kids all over the world going to sleep horney​.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

​Trump​.

Have you ever used Bing?

​Hello!​

Could things be worse? How?

​Dry could die​

Myq Kaplan

Myq Kaplan performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball.

BYT hosts Bentzen Ball 2014 in Washington, DC.

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Neither. But if you’re asking which is worse, plagiarism or sexual assault, the answer is sexual assault.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I don’t know. The same way there are so many comedians I love and it’s impossible to decide which one is “best” or even my “favorite” a lot of the time, there are always so many sad things in the world as well… shootings, racism, tons of unnecessary pain and suffering… it’s hard to pick a “winner.” All of them are the saddest.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

See above answer. Also, what makes something scary is usually related to something unknown about the future, so it’s hard to pick a future thing from the past.

Have you ever used Bing?

Yes.

Could things be worse? How?

Always. Every living being that exists right now is not experiencing the maximum potential suffering possible, and it would be worse if they were. So compared to that, things are relatively better! And even more sincerely, there are a lot of people, things, experiences, situations, friends, etc. that I’m very grateful for. And it would be worse if there were fewer of those. And the fact that there aren’t is another thing I’m grateful for. So now there’s one more. Thanks!

Jena Friedman

Jena Friedman performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball. She’s been one of our Funny Human of the Week.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Neither. Bill Cosby is my comedic muse. He actually blocked me on twitter.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Everything on the news, every day.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

That the world is on fire.

Have you ever used Bing?

Is that a dating sight for aliens? No.

Could things be worse? How?

Yes, always. In so many ways.

Ben Kronberg

Ben Kronberg performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Jews make me want to quit everything

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I saw a homeless guy with one legs in a wheelchair do a wheely and fall backwards.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Talking to my dad.

Have you ever used Bing?

Probably.

Could things be worse? How?

Anything plus hunger.

Phoebe Robinson

Phoebe Robinson performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball. Read her Nightmare Gig.

Jessica Williams and Phoebe Robinson

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Man, oh, man. Neither of them made me want to quit comedy. They just made me incredibly sad. Obviously, Bill is the monster and The Fat Jew is just a freaking Bob Villa toolbox. I want them to go away forever.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Saddest thing has been all the bombings, police brutality, attack on women, attacks on trans people. There is honestly so much darkness in the world, that it’s hard to not like it ruin you.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Donald Trump. I get that there is this “Vote for the Worst” (which is a thing people would do during American Idol). Folks would get together and decide to consistently votes for the worst contestant just to see how far that person would go) element to Trump that amuses people. Definitely not me, but I sense that. But this must stop. He is a horrible human being and he is going around massively unchecked for a lot of the fascist, ignorant things he says mainly because he’s a rich white dude. But it must stop. Everyone stop entertaining him and start being like, “STFU. What you’re saying is categorically wrong and here’s why.” I understand that a lot of ppl agree with him on certain issues, but enough is enough!

Have you ever used Bing?

Never. Googs for life.

Could things be worse? How?

Yes. Things could be in that my whole family could be dead or something really truly scary could happen to a large group of Muslims in America. That would be very scary. I’m hoping for peace, but humans seem to be incapable of it, so I’m also hoping that fewer people will die in less shitty ways.

Nick Vatterott

Nick Vatterott is a NYC based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew makes you want to quit comedy. Bill Cosby makes you want to quit humanity.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A little puppy dog with a broken leg that just lost his job and found out his wife was cheating on him with his dad that never loved him.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Autonomous prophylactics.

Have you ever used Bing?

Yes. After the world “Badda”

Could things be worse? How?

Exactly.

Ian Abramson

Ian Abramson performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball. Read his Nightmare Gig.

Bentzen Ball Day 3-8

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

I mean, I’m not a fan of the Fat Jew, but who would prefer the crimes of Cosby?

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A man trying to rollerblade at the beach, but he’s in the sand, so it’s real slow and awkward.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Probably the “01” hiding in the center.

Have you ever used Bing?

I’ve tried, but it doesn’t come up when I search for it.

Could things be worse? How?

I’m an optimist. Things aren’t quite as bad as could be, but I think with a little bit of hard work, and smarts, we’ll get there!

John F. O’Donnell

John F. O’Donnell performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Bill Cosby.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The Syrian Refugee Crisis.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

The Charlie Hebdo attack because ISIS why you gotta be going after comedians, though?

Have you ever used Bing?

I think I’ve Bing’d a couple of times, but it was strictly by accident. I’m really sorry about it…

Could things be worse? How?

Yes, things could certainly be worse. I promise you everybody filling out this BYT year end segment is doing just fine relatively speaking and doesn’t have much room to justifiably complain/self-loathe…because, simply put, we’re not SYRIAN F’IN REFUGEES…

Megan Gailey

Megan Gailey is a NYC based stand-up. Read her Nightmare Gig

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Both? But they’re more than just our problem.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I’ve cried a lot but I can’t remember why.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

The Planned Parenthood shooting made me sad, scared, furious, etc. and then someone from the Republican presidential field winning.

Have you ever used Bing?

No.

Could things be worse? How?

Personally, if I was an orphan I’d be devastated.

Mike Lebovitz

Mike Lebovitz performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball. Read his Nightmare Gig.

Mike Lebovitz

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

I don’t really know what the Fat Jew thing is. I saw some headlines about it in my news feed, but I never clicked on any of them. My guess is that I don’t care, but I don’t know for sure because I never took the time to read about it. I am ignorant. I’ve got other shit going on. The Bill Cosby rape charges are devastating. We have quickly and quietly sandblasted his face from our Comedy Rushmore. Never made me want to quit comedy though. Just a reminder that some of the most outwardly successful people are true monsters. Made me stop and reconsider the nature of success, the meaning of it. Someone who becomes the biggest comedian of all time, but is a rapist and a creep, is surely a spectacular failure on balance. I never really thought about that aspect of my career. I want to to touch as many people as I can with my act, but regardless of how far I get in showbiz, I will measure my success in life based on the extent to which I am able to brighten and lighten the lives of those I come into contact with.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

War in Syria? Political cynicism and inaction. Mass shootings. Paris. Egypt Air. Beheadings. Airstrikes. Trump. It’s been another rough year…

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Bernie Sanders. Everyone goes nuts for him, but nominate him and we might as well just swear in President Rubio tomorrow. Or worse.

Have you ever used Bing?

Yeah, all the time. My kids mess with my phone’s default search engine setting on the daily.

Could things be worse? How?

I guess if I couldn’t figure out how to switch it back?

Haywood Turnipseed Jr

Haywood Turnipseed Jr performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Fat Jew. At least Cosby had some material to fall back on.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Saddest thing I’ve seen this year: #BlackLiveMatter

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Sad but true, is the fact that this movement is needed.

Have you ever used Bing?

Do I Bing: sometimes, but not much. #GoogleMe

Could things be worse? How?

Me and mines could still be pickin’ cotton, or in our case, ‘turnip’ seeds.

Clark Jones

Clark Jones is a NYC based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Cosby.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Someone actually quit comedy.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Snapchat.

Have you ever used Bing?

I’m not familiar enough with Mr. Crosby to take advantage of him.

Could things be worse? How?

“Ladies and gentleman, your next President…”

Tiffany Puterbaugh

Tiffany Puterbaugh performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball.

Puterbaugh Sisters

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Bill Cosby made me want to get even better at comedy to have a voice that stands up for all the women who have been puddin popped in their lives.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Reality TV.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Reality TV. Girls dressed as sexy bees and sexy tamale guys for Halloween. The costume design on “Soaked in Bleach” where they made Kurt Cobain dress in Kohls rocker boy section clothes was spooky. Eddie Vedder ,and Dave Grohl have always given me the scares as well as being stuck in a long jam session of Phish. To be fair some of the Toilet Pigs I have hooked up with have also given me the hard spookies. I have also been a part of some hangovers this yea that could really bring a monster to tears.

Could things be worse? How?

I could be an Olive Garden bartender in Ohio full time.

Curtis Cook

Curtis Cook is a Portland based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Bill Cosby.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A comic I knew committed suicide. It wasn’t the first time, and there is a very sad part of me that knows it likely won’t be the last.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Guns.

Have you ever used Bing?

I’m more of a Dogpile guy.

Could things be worse? How?

Things are pretty bad, but, like, I tweet about injustice and stuff. And one time I marched for a thing. So I’m helping or whatever. But we are running out of water, so hold dear to your loved ones and know that the end is nigh. In the meanwhile, though, Earthquake Hurricane is a great comedy show every Wednesday night in Portland. Check us out on Twitter!

Will Miles

Will Miles is a NYC based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Both were terrible, but they both made me want to have my voice heard even more. The Bill Cosby situation was horrible for a number of reasons, and none of those reasons were that a man who influenced me to do comedy was found out to be a horrible person. Fuck that. The women he hurt, and the power he used to inflict even more emotional pain on those women over the years was disgusting. It also spoke volumes to the fact that even in art and entertainment, there is a social structure that puts men’s voices above women. Even in modern society where we have supposedly worked on equality. One powerful man silenced so many women’s voices for over 40 fuckin years! (Well one man and a lot of help from various other people in power between the 1970s and 2014.)

The Fat Jew situation made me realize that we are now in the age where internet comedian is a real thing. I grew up idolizing actual comedians, and I’ve worked hard to become one of those. When somebody can just say “comedian” on their twitter bio and then news outlets will honor that, I think there is a problem. Even the woman who went on the rant about fat people was constantly being called a comedian on the news. Then people look at real, hardworking comedians for answers, and we respond “fuck you. I’ve never done a show with them,” and suddenly we are the assholes.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Guns, guns, and more guns. Oh, and racism. But racism wouldn’t have legs without guns. Racism alone will just keep me out of work, which also sucks. But racism with guns makes me dead, which is far worse. And definitely sexism. Sexism with guns is terrible. Sexism without guns is still very horrible because of rape. Man, shit is fucked up all around. Everything is scary. What makes both racism and sexism even more scary, is that some people on the internet say women and minorities “have it just fine. don’t believe these libertards” on social media. Then people “like” those statements, validating those thoughts. Its even scarier because they say those statements definitively, as if they’ve weighed the options, researched, and come to that conclusion through scientific experimentation. They won’t even listen to reasonable responses. The Internet in 2015 might be as scary as guns.

Have you ever used Bing?

Once at work. If they ever want to pay me, I’ll use them all the time.

Could things be worse? How?

Things could be far worse. We could be under the rule of a North Korean dictator. Like most young people, my only real understanding of how bad that is comes from watching two episodes of Vice on HBO.

Danielle Puterbaugh

Danielle Puterbaugh performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball.

Backstage, The Lampshades + Puterbaugh Sisters

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

I guess Bill Cosby. Can we leave the Cosby jokes to Dave Chappelle and Hannibal Burress though? It takes a lot to make that topic funny.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The shootings and brutality associated with cops and the fact that they’ve pretty much been able to cover it up or get away with it all. It’s good to know that people still care and protest and put down their phones when events like this happen in our country.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

The fact that Steveo will be able to keep getting booked and paid to headline at clubs but my talented friends won’t over him.

Have you ever used Bing?

Bing Crosby? Yes, I use him all the time.

Could things be worse? How?

Things could always be worse. We are lucky people. God bless us, bless us everyone.

Tim Barnes

Tim Barnes is a Chicago based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

Final

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew represents something that all comedians fear. No one likes a joke stealer, let alone a famous one. Cosby just goes into the pile of fallen heroes which is larger than the pile of un-fallen ones.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Rachel Dolezal.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Rachel Dolezal.

Could things be worse? How?

Rachel Dolezal.

Brandon Wetherbee

Brandon Wetherbee performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

Haywood Turnipseed Jr

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Bill Cosby. And the death of Rowdy Roddy Piper.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The numbness to shootings in America. And the death of Rowdy Roddy Piper.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

They Live turning into a documentary.

Have you ever used Bing?

I’ve IMDB’d Roddy Piper. His photo looks like a mug shot.

Could things be worse? How?

We could have lived our lives without ever knowing Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Stephanie Hasz

Stephanie Hasz performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew because he represents an enormous problem with how a lot of people think about/consume comedy. Bill Cosby is just a terrible person who happens to be a comedian.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A man lying (probably dead) in the street with his shoes knocked off in Gainesville, FL.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Guns.

Have you ever used Bing?

Only accidentally.

Could things be worse? How?

Yes. More guns.

Ben O’Brien of Wham City

Ben O’Brien performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

Bentzen Ball Day 3-270

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

​Climate change.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

How can I choose? CO2 levels probably. 2015 was could be the most terrifying year ever.

Have you ever used Bing?

​Fuck Bing, I’m a Google man. I’m so good at Googling things that sometimes when I’m Googling I feel like I’m shredding on a guitar.

Could things be worse? How?

​They’ve only gotten worse so far​, can’t imagine it getting better, to be honest. I am apparently a very morose person.

Joe McAdam

Joe McAdam is a Los Angeles based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

I don’t know who either of those people are.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

In light of the sickening trend of gun violence in our country with not a week going by without a highly publicized tragedy I’d feel it would be inappropriate to say anything other than the new Batman vs. Superman trailer.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Halloween.

Have you ever used Bing?

I mean yeah, but honestly it felt like we were using each other.

Could things be worse? How?

I suppose the scientists could clone MY MOTHER IN LAW THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT, I’LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

Steven Wilber

Steven Wilber performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

Bentzen Ball Day 3-77

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Honestly, it was when the collaborated on the album “Muggin’ Jokes and Druggin’ Cokes.”

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Me, leaving the nurturing bosom that is Portland.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Probably a tie between the ever-looming shadow of death, reminding us that our time on this plane is always more finite than we think, and Trump.

Have you ever used Bing?

I’m a man with sexual needs, aren’t I? (Aren’t I?)

Could things be worse? How?

I could be a sentient toilet with bills to pay.

Goodrich Gevaart

 Goodrich Gevaart is a Chicago based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Bill Cosby just because this industry is riddled with creeps and there is virtually no way to stand up to them.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

My net income.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Guns babay!!!!!!

Have you ever used Bing?

I don’t wanna be on some kinda list.

Could things be worse? How?

Give it a day or two.

Alyssa Cowan

Alyssa Cowan performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball. Read her Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Bill Cosby for sure. He’s a way worse human, and I have a personal reason for being a fan in the past. My dad told me that he went to a Bill Cosby show, and it was the funniest comedy show he’s seen. For a long time I had an association between my dad and Bill Cosby because of this, and I wanted to be like him in some sense.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Real life. That shit takes the bummer cake.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

I guess, because I live in America…Gun violence and the fact that there are still people out there who think they’re justified in beating up women who don’t want to fuck them.

Have you ever used Bing?

Yep. =/

Could things be worse? How?

Always, it can always get worse. All of our heads could be on fire like that movie ghost rider. But they’re not, and I’m appreciative of that.

Sophie Johnson

 Sophie Johnson is a Chicago based stand-up. Read her Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Are you kidding? Those guys collectively made up 85 percent of the new material I heard at open mics this year.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Real talk: With all the stupid police and violent gun rights guys infuriating everyone, we’ve stopped talking about the income gap. Poverty in this country is devastating to the point that I would describe it as violent. There are people raising children on less than $1,000 a year. People starve and freeze and overheat to death because we have a system that keeps poor people poor and makes rich people richer.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Remember Scary Spice? Where’s Scary Spice these days? It used to be that you could answer the question “What was the scariest thing about this year?” by writing, “Scary Spice.” Now she’s M.I.A. and we have to say shit like, “school shootings.” GET BACK IN OUR LIVES, SCARY SPICE.

Have you ever used Bing?

It’s the only search engine that isn’t blocked by the New Orleans Public School system, I think.

Could things be worse? How?

Yeah. Things could always be worse. Like, this year, Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark wasn’t on Broadway anymore. So couldn’t you say things are actually looking up?

Sammy Arechar

 Sammy Arechar is a Chicago based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

I can’t decide, I wanna dip both of their houses in poison.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I couldn’t fall asleep one night and I looked out of my window and saw a man putting a boot on someone’s car :'(

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Cronuts.

Have you ever used Bing?

No because I am not fake to the streets.

Could things be worse? How?

They for sure can be worse, I could have a low WPM!!!!!!!! Sometimes I feel like all my eggs are in the comedy basket and I’m…..I’m..I’m scared holy shit I’m having a crisis thanks a lot for asking this question and triggering it WTF…………………

Matt Byrne

 Matt Byrne is a Chicago based comedy producer. Read his Funny Human of the Week column. 

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Fat Jew I guess! He’s like, the future of bad, entitled men. Bill Cosby is our toxic past of bad, entitled men.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The world sure feels like a pile of trash these days so it’s hard to answer this! Single saddest thing was probably the slow realization that efforts to effect meaningful change are futile unless you completely give your life over to service! Or at least it seems that way! I don’t know!

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Is Don Trump too obvious of an answer? Should I be answering these questions honestly?

Could things be worse? How?

I mean, yeah, always, right? At least I have my health…

Sonia Denis

Sonia Denis is a Chicago based stand-up. Read her Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew. Bill Cosby made me want to quit being a woman.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Being a black person was pretty depressing this year. Cops shooting black people with impunity is nothing new so it’s great that we are now we’re finally addressing it, but then you see people who don’t get why it’s not ALL lives matter, Fox News keeps finding a random black person who will side with them for airtime and a check, and George Zimmerman is still alive and committing a felony every other week. Drugs help though. If any cops are reading this, drugs is a euphemism for hugs. I love hugs.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

That it’s over. Time keeps going and we continue marching slowly towards death.

Have you ever used Bing?

Bing is never going to happen. Bill Gates has to accept that. No matter how many commercials they have featuring millennials making beats while searching for local microbreweries on their Windows Surface, not interested.

Natalie McGill

Natalie McGill performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball.

Natalie McGill

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew, only because it’s got me wondering if I have to check out books at the library now about intellectual property in case anyone steals my meme about Chunky Campbell’s Beer and Cheese soup tasting like the inside of a Packers fan’s colon and it just made me think “Wow. This is what my life is gonna be like if I continue to pursue this…”

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A Metro signboard that said my train was coming in 37 minutes. They clearly do not give a fuck anymore. At least pretend like the train was held up. Now they’re like “You know what? Fuck the ‘–‘ and ‘Train’ on the board. It’s coming in 40 minutes. Deal with it.”

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

The news, and I say this as someone who watches it every day. It’s getting harder to watch it now without thinking I have to build an underground shelter for my dad and brother because their skin color runs a few shades darker for some people’s tastes.

Also using a rental car and AirBnB for the first time.

Have you ever used Bing?

Only because I was tricked.

Could things be worse? How?

We could have Trump as presi–oh wait…

Andrew Bucket

Andrew Bucket performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball. Read his Nightmare Gig.

Bentzen Ball Day 3-27

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew is a worthless moron and Bill Cosby is a true monster, and neither of these turds would make me want to quit comedy.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The perpetual and insistent ignorance of the right wing.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

When there was no kids at Thanksgiving and I realized it’s because I’m supposed to be making them.

Have you ever used Bing?

I don’t think anyone has.

Could things be worse? How?

If we don’t rock the vote to ensure that not any single republican nominee gets elected.

Meredith Kachel

Meredith Kachel is a Chicago based stand-up. Read her Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Cosby. I know of so many predators in our scene, outright rapists, and that’s so much scarier than someone stealing my fucking jokes. That being said, him being called out made me really proud, so there’s a silver lining. A silver lining in an old, accoladed man who raped dozens of women! What a time to be alive!

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Where do I even begin? Did you see that Vice interview with the Eagles of Death Metal after the Bataclan terrorism? Fuck. Oh god, and the Bing Bong scene from Inside Out. Fuck that. There’s this legless veteran downtown Chicago that always compliments peoples shoes…but I can’t tell if that’s sad or hilarious. Oh, Parenthood ended. I mean, I cried during every episode, so the last one really shoved a baseball bat of sad up my puss. I literally look up Syrian orphans on the reg, so like, I dunno. I feel like everyday something terrible and sad pops up.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Republicans. You could ask me that every year for the rest of my life, and my answer is always going to be the same. Republican men. Why has no one made a horror movie about Republican men? And Wall Street doesn’t count.

Have you ever used Bing?

Yeah! I did once. Just to see what it’s like. I think I asked for directions and it showed me a picture of Italy. Way to go, Bing.

Could things be worse? How?

Of course. Isn’t that the point?

Sean Joyce

Sean Joyce performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball.

BYT hosts Bentzen Ball 2014 in Washington, DC.

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew is an actual threat to real comedy. Bill Cosby was just a horrible person who happened to be a comedian. Nothing makes me want to quit comedy.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The dozens of videos of people being shot or threatened by police for no reason.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Republican presidential candidates.

Could things be worse? How?

Things have always been worse. There are plenty of bad things now, but there used to be even more and even worse bad things.

Norm Quarrinton

Norm Quarrinton performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball. Read his Nightmare Gig.

Norm Quarrinton

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Cosby. The Fat Jew is just a joke thief, Cosby is a joke thief AND a rapist.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I was pretty bummed when Rowdy Roddy Piper died. I mean, I didn’t see it happen, but I read about it and that was sad.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Ben Carson. Everyone’s freaking out about Trump, but it’s the quiet ones you need to keep an eye on.

Have you ever used Bing?

What’s a Bing?

Could things be worse? How?

Yes. Ben Carson could be the president.

Linsay Deming of Church Night

Linsay Deming performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball. Read her Nightmare Gig.

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

The Fat Jew because at the very least Bill Cosby’s atrocious actions raised awareness about sexual abuse in the industry. Untalented assholes like The Fat Jew will always and forever steal ideas and content. Sadly, I suspect it will only get worse as more and more content is created.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

There’s a lot of sad to be had this year. The Syrian refugee crisis makes me very, very sad. As do the countless terrorist attacks both domestic and abroad carried out by disturbed young men with access to murder machines.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Cyber Monday sales were up 17% this year and Donald Trump is leading in the Republican primary. We’re all going to die.

Have you ever used Bing?

Yes, I tried a Bing once. It was on an old Blackberry. I’m pretty sure the second page of search results was just one giant blurred out dick.

Could things be worse? How?

It could be 1915 when women and African Americans didn’t have the right to vote. Or it could be 2115 when the human race will surely be extinct because of our complete lack of concern for the planet we live on. Now, who wants to go to the mall and buy some shit we don’t need with money we don’t have?

LeMaire Lee

LeMaire Lee is a Philadelphia based stand-up. Read his Nightmare Gig.

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What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

My set last night.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Its been a pretty sad year for the perpetration of white people. Like fuck get it together. Donald Trump, gun crimes, banning religions, Rachel Dolezal, not fulfilling your job because a person is gay. If the media perpetration of white people was an old person we’d put it in the home.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Slutwalks and Vine stars.

Have you ever used Bing?

Yea, I use Bing for porn. It’s actually really good at getting porn videos.

Could things be worse? How?

Things could be the worse. I could have Charlie Sheens AIDS.

Jessy Morner-Ritt

Jessy Morner-Ritt performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball.

Jessy Morner-Ritt

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Who?

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The Fat Jew’s image on Google Images.

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

Guns.

Have you ever used Bing?

I decline to answer. Too personal.

Could things be worse? How?

Yes. People could continue to just stop in the middle of a bustling sidewalk, I could continue shutting down emotionally after sex, and guns could continue to be easier to purchase than a medically safe abortion.

MOTHERKNUCKLE

MOTHERKNUCKLE performed at the 2015 Bentzen Ball. Read their Nightmare Gig.

What made you want to quit comedy more, Bill Cosby or The Fat Jew?

Quitters never win.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

This past autumn, all of these trees lost their leaves, and we don’t know if they’re gonna look like that forever or what… 🙁

What was the scariest thing about 2015?

This show gets us both scared and wet for the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1q0u4OpXxM

Have you ever used Bing?

Bing bang boop, badoop bing boop. Bip blop bling bing, bleep blop bloop! Get it?

Could things be worse? How?

My cousin’s brother legs were amputated and then they sutured on trunks from poached elephants onto the stumps. Now this sort of thing happening to one person is not so bad, but imagine If that happened to the population of Albania, then the world would have a REAL issue on its hands.

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