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We asked 39 of the funniest people we’re close, personal friends with what made 2014 a funny year. It was so much fun! It’s a lovely read! Please read it here!

We asked those same people what made 2014 a sad year. It’s not as much fun! It’s not a lovely read! We don’t have 39 people for this one because some people only want to remember the good. They’re ‘healthy’ people or something.

Rob Corddry

Rob performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Disappear Bill! Go away, hopefully to jail.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Victor Cruz getting injured.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

I don’t know Morrissey. I sit alone in my Miami apartment, so me, probably.

Kyle Kinane

Kyle performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I caught the last 45 minutes of Dead Poets Society last night and wept on my couch.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The knowledge that World War Three will be cyber attacks and therefore known as “WWIII: Revenge of the Nerds”

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey’s favorite bar in LA closed down. Probably Morrissey. But I hate seeing a quality pub take a dive, so I’m kinda bummed too.

Aparna Nancherla

Aparna performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

I will have to allegedly not answer this question.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The news.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The news.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Fear Street Super Chiller: The News

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey’s face while watching me try to get through this section

Henry Phillips

Henry performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Ghost dad? Ha, not sure if I did that one right.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A dead pigeon by the side of the road. I tried to give it the Heimlich maneuver, but no dice.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The fact that Seth Rogan and James Franco are remotely related to an extremely important world crisis.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Huh?

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey, despite that he’s infinitely more successful than I am.

Myq Kaplan

Myq performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

New Coke spokesman? (Not a fan of Coke.)

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

People dying unnecessarily.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The idea of more people dying unnecessarily.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey, I imagine.

Jena Friedman

Jena performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Ugh, Cosby…

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Footage of police brutality.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The moment we all collectively realized that due to catastrophic and irreparable effects of climate change, the planet has about 60 years left.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Fear Street, hands down.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Who’s Morrissey? (I’m really young.)

Ben Kronberg

Ben performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Drug free hahaha.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A worm get run over by a booze cruise cyclist

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Not having place to cally own.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Elm Street.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissme.

Kate Berlant

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What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Probably the Imperialist, Capitalist, White Supremacist Patriarchy.

Jenn Tisdale

Jenn performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Ain’t no party like a No Cosby Party because the No Cosby Party leaves with their memories/faculties/bodies in check.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Ferguson and Eric Garner were devastating but what saddened me the most was the lack of surprise I felt at the end results. I also wish America was as angry about racism and misogyny in this country as they were about Peter Pan Live.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

2014, 1964, 1864…all feel the same

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

The only street I’ve ever cared about is Elm Street

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Well, I’m cancer free!

John F. O’Donnell

John performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Partnership For a Drug Free America spokesman, because I love when the irony drips like a goddamn Mumbai monsoon.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

America doubling down on it’s policy of aggression and mass murder in the Middle East.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

American’s continued comfortability and confidence in our ignorance.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps, because I can’t remember Fear Street…This somehow makes me feel insecure…Weird…Nerd culture rules everything around me.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey.Who’s obviously brilliant, BUT stop you’re whining about being miserable after getting a job…There’s a lot of people who NEED jobs, Morrissey. Get over yourself. People are fucking DYING out there…I’m just messing around…But, really, people are DYING…

Liza Treyger

Liza performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

I personally liked when he made kids say darn things.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The trailer to You’re Not You starring Hillary Swank and Emmy Rossum.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

People denying racism. People that trust our government and news sources. Ghosts. My friend who was once normal now getting all up on Gamer Gate and thinking Lena Dunham is a pedophile.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

I mean I honestly don’t even know. I only read the Chose Your Own Adventures because my father would make me read and it wasn’t technically lying if I said I read it even though I was just hopping around the book. I did start reading books in junior high about girls in junior high and I liked that a lot.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

I’m not sad and everyone that likes Morrissey seems really sad so I’ll assume he’s the saddest because I don’t know who that is but if he’s seen who listens to his music I understand his sadness, they’re the most annoying.

Mike Lebovitz

Mike performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Oh man, take your pick: Syria, Ukraine, institutionalized police racism/brutality, Malaysian jet, Dumb and Dumber To.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

See above.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

I don’t know who that is, and even if I did, I still don’t understand the question.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Depends. Are we both currently checking our bank balance?

Katie McVay

Katie performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Ghost Dad. It feels right. His past is haunting us and creating an inability to accept reality.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

My booking schedule. 🙁

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The persistence of the institutional slavery system that we call justice.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Buzzfeed Result: I am NOT a 90s kid.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Does Morrissey make $12 an hour?

Brandon Wetherbee

Brandon performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

OBGYN Dr. Heathcliff ‘Cliff’ Huxtable

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

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What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Ghost Dad.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Fear Street is for braggers.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Johnny Marr.

Stephanie Hasz

Stephanie performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Oh wait, the thing I want to disappear from comedy forever is people talking about Ghost Dad all the time for some reason.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Pittsburgh, but I LOVE Pittsburgh.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Cops.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

I’m afraid of ghosts.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey.

Danielle Puterbaugh

Danielle performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

I’m not sure if I understand the question, but the best campaign slogan for Ghost Dad to partner with Drug Free America is, “Don’t do drugs, kids, that is unless you want to be rapist ghost dad.”

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The loss of my aunt, Anne Dibenedetto and of my friend and fellow comedian, Dan Ronan.

The loss of Joan Rivers and Robin Williams.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The fact that there’s a war going on between us and the Middle East, except there’s no coverage of it anywhere and you have to try hard (not on the Internet) in order to find it.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps. Of course.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

I have a lot more fun than Morrissey.

Tiffany Puterbaugh

Tiffany performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?
The passing of Dan Ronan, an amazing comic and wonderful person. The passing of my friend Chester. The passing of My Auntie Ann. Of course Madea does Christmas.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

All they sexy cats, sexy bees and sexy donkey costumes worn on Halloween.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps, no question

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Depends on how many times I have cried in the bathtub that week.

Jamel Johnson

Jamel performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Season 8 of the Cosby Show when he only wore HBCU sweatshirts.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I didn’t actually watch any of the Ferguson stuff or the Eric Gardner stuff. So technically I’d have to say the “I’m not gay no more” video. Hilarious, but it sucks that that’s even still a thing.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Finishing Game of Thrones too early and realizing that our society has been fucked up for thousands of years.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps, but only cuz they had the Choose Your Own Adventure jonts with the Glittery Covers

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Definitely Morrissey. I’m Chillin

Andrew Bucket

Andrew performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Eddie Murphy’s impression of Cosby.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Dave Grohl mania.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The think pieces.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

I gotta say Goosebumps because no matter how scary it got, nobody ever died.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

You know I don’t think Morrissey is sad. People always said Camus is sad but they miss the entire point of existentialism. Once you relent to your inevitable demise and the futility of most life then you begin to really live without fear of death or worse- purposelessness. But the short answer is me. I’m sadder than Morrissey.

Linsay Deming

Linsay performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

It’s funny, all those things are dead…except Jell-O which is ALIVE AND STILL-A- JIGGLIN’! Am I right Grandma?!? But to answer the question, I’m going to have to go with New Coke because it’s the most pitiful.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Aside from all the racism, corruption, murder, hatred, rape, and inequality? Oh, I don’t know…probably my 7-year-old niece. It seems like she is ALWAYS crying about something.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Again, aside from all the racism, corruption, murder, hatred, rape, and inequality? Uh, have you seen American Horror Story season 4? That Twisty the Clown sure is freaky deaky.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

This is a tough one for me because I was obsessed with both series, but I’m going to have to go with Goosebumps because “Say Cheese and Die-Again!” was a thing.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey because he is a vegetarian and hates the British monarchy SO MUCH! I’m more complacent, quietly spending my days awaiting singularity.

Natalie McGill

Natalie performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

UM YOU MISSED TEXAS INSTRUMENTS SPOKESMAN BILL COSBY

But seriously, just seeing the way that’s written out reminds me of all the things he’s tainted. I’m going with Partnership For a Drug Free America just for the irony.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

An increasing number of people on my Facebook feed who circulate stories from hoax news websites—and I don’t mean the ones that are parodies. People will be like 50 comments in before they realize the guy who played Benny from The Sandlot is actually still alive.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

CNN.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

You know I’m ashamed to say I did not read R.L. Stine as a kid. But if I was just going to choose based on name alone: Fear Street. The entire street is made from fear.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey. One of us can still eat steak.

Nik Oldershaw

Nik performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

There is no Best Cosby. All Cosbys are the Worst Cosby.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

One of my friends made me watch The Other Sister for the first time this year and that’s a bad movie but Giovanni Ribisi really made me cry.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Our justice system, the police, the black experience in America. All of it sucks, it’s stomach turning.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Fear Street because the stakes were so much higher! Children would die! Those books were full of dying kids and they were in my elementary school library. Goosebumps was kind of watered down in comparison.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

I am the saddest.

CHEEEZELORD, one half of MOTHERKNUCKLE the beginning of comedy

CHEEEZELORD performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Pull up your pants black “youts” of America Cosby with his old crossed eyes unable to see that he weighed our pockets down with New Coke, loose sweater fabrics and pudding pops wrappings.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The continued heckling of the people of the world who are just like us answering these questions, just trying to do stand-up. Bottles, bullets, and tear gas thrown on the stage but in the end we will all win, and we’ll all get our own standing ovation.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

You.

Perth, DC’s Worst Comedian, one half of MOTHERKNUCKLE the end of comedy

Perth performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Ghost Dad.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Jeff Dunham, Larry the Cable Guy and Adam Sandler not being hired to SNL.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

When that giant ball dropped in New York City at midnight on January 1.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

N/A

David Carter

David performed at Bentzen Ball 2014.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Ghost Dad. Ghost hands down! The only thing that could make Bill Cosby worse would be if he could phase through solid objects. A psycho-sex maniac should not be given super powers. Go watch Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man… again.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The saddest thing I’ve seen this year is the obvious nationwide police corruption, including but limited to the racial inequality of their enforcement, and the arrests and deaths of people who have experienced or witnessed it, with no correction in sight of the systemic erosion of our natural human rights.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The scariest thing I’ve seen this year is the obvious nationwide police corruption, including but limited to the racial inequality of their enforcement, and the arrests and deaths of people who have experienced or witnessed it, with no correction in sight of the systemic erosion of our natural human rights.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps. The very first musical I ever saw was Goosebumps the musical. I blame them for catalyzing my teenage and adult addiction and intrigue of theater, as well as the nightmare I had that night about the school bus sized mutant caterpillar that starred in said musical.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey. I’ve never pointed a loaded gun to my head, and I can see him doing that annually. Depression is an unequivocal bitch. I stay social and tell jokes to ward off my demons.

Dana Bell

Dana performed at Bentzen Ball 2013.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

I’ve never seen any of these. Gonna go with New Coke, because New Coke was bad, and so is Cosby!

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I saw a dead beaver at the National Aquatic Gardens. It had just crawled out of a pond and died on a trail. That was sad. Then an old lady came up to me and my boyfriend and told us how easy it would be to skin it. That was even sadder, that she couldn’t skin this beaver even though she really wanted to.

Also everything on the news.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Well ebola was definitely scary, but personally the scariest moment was when I was half asleep in a tent and I thought there was an animal trying to get in and eat me (it was just wind).

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey.

Daniel Kibblesmith

Daniel is a Buzzfeed writer, former ClickHole writer and author of How to Win at Everything: Even Things You Can’t or Shouldn’t Try to Win At

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

I Spy.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A television.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

A cop drew a gun on my friend’s dog this morning and that didn’t seem weird.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Say Cheese And Die 4 Life.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey’s approximate net worth is $32 million dollars. My breakfast this morning was half of a room temperature apple.

Nick Vatterott

Nick released the album, For Your Amusement Only, in November

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Leonard Part 7.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Humanity.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The Internet passing along sweeping generalizations and speculations as fact. People not checking to see if there is any truth or merit to everything that they see and read, and then perpetuating whatever they came across as absolute truth. We’re a society that reads a headline and then forms a strong opinion without reading the actual facts in the article. We would rather rant about something, than be informed about something. People confuse opinion with truth. And the emotions, and anger and idiocy that all this misinformation people perpetuate, is scary. Also I saw a sock that ate feet. That was scary also.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Never read either. So both.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

That’s the name of of Morrisey’s next song “Who’s sadder Morrisey or you?”

Phoebe Robinson

Phoebe is a NYC based stand-up and writer.

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What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

All the police brutality towards people of color. Really just awful and makes me feel like we are literally repeating history. Some things never change, I suppose.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

I scare easily, so I didn’t read that mess in school. So I would go to the library and read Seventeen magazine and take their quizzes about boys even though I wasn’t dating yet. These magazines should really be banned because they just make every woman who reads them do the dumbest garbage in relationships.

Megan Gailey

Megan is a NYC based stand-up.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

None of the above.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Schooled, sports documentary about the treatment of college athletes by the NCAA. It’s sad, trust me.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The need for a second Ray Rice video to be released for the general public to be outraged, grand juries, taking a 36 hour round trip Megabus, the masks in Purge 2.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

GOOSEBUMPS!! What the Fuck is Fear Street???

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Can you print an eye roll?

Ian Abramson

Ian is an LA based stand-up.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

I’m so happy Cosby is just now getting the recognition he deserves. A man that has done so much for so long, and he’s finally got the sort of buzz he’s been working towards for literally decades.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

I’ve had my eyes closed since the New Year.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Bumping into things unexpectedly.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

I’m unable to read with my eyes closed, but last year I loved R.L. Steinbeck’s “Monster Blood of my Ancestors.”

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey and I are always joking it’s the other one, but in all honesty, I think we’re both wrong.

Will Miles

Will is a NYC based stand-up.

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Photo By Mindy Tucker

Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Partnership for A Drug Free America spokesman. And I’m not even sure why.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

A few friends died. Seeing the reactions of my other friends when those people died was as sad as the feelings I felt inside.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Racism and prejudice based on fear continued to show itself.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps, but mainly because I don’t know what Fear Street is.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey. People who make music that heartfelt are generally going through something.

Curtis Cook

Curtis is a Portland based stand-up.

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What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The saddest thing about this year was the vivid, blatant reminder that Black lives are still regarded as less valuable – as expendable – in this country. The saddest part of this year were the hours a murdered teenager’s body was left to rot on the streets of Missouri followed by the weeks and months waiting for what would ultimately – again – be a complete lack of justice, followed by the sea of pain that always accompany the re-realization that progress is merely an illusion.

Unless you mean comedy-specific sad stuff. If it’s specifically comedy sad stuff, then Robin Williams’ death was a bummer.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

See above.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

I don’t know who Morrissey is. Is he like the Bono of people just mildly nerdier than U2 fans? Is he the kind of musician faux-dark, pseudo-liberals use to score their bullshit film final in their fourth year of college? If you were the dark, depressed manifestation of a writer and you met some sort of charming, shall we say, manic pixie dream biddie due to zany happenstance, would his music be the type of bullshit you and she bonded over as it played softly on a trendy-yet-inconvenient record player in a room decorated by Christmas lights and Tibetan flags? Did he write the theme song to the under-appreciated, hit TV show, Charmed?

Probably Morrissey.

Joe McAdam

Joe is an LA based stand-up.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Cosby the junk yard gang member.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

True Story: I was at the wake of a comedian and dear friend, and another comedian cut the line so he could get to an open mic early. This is 100% true and makes me laugh a lot.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Halloween.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Those are for kids! I’m a young adult! I read from the Nightmare Room series.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

He was in The Beatles Band, right?

John Michael Bond

John is an Atlanta based stand-up.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Ghost Dad is best Cosby because he’s lost his caporal form.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

Seeing the number of formerly cool people in my life who wrote off the Mike Brown case with “Well he shouldn’t have resisted the cop.” Lots of hiding in my feeds this year.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

Life for American voters was a bummer so no one went to the polls, giving us the lowest voter turnout in decades. Thanks you idiots, the Republicans can do anything they want for the next two years. Both sides suck, but dear god one side is absolutely insane.

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Fear Street, the body counts are awesome.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Most years me, but this year Moz is super sick so I think he’s probably worse off.

Goodrich Gevaart

Goodrich is a Chicago based stand-up and Daddy’s Little Party Boi.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

MUSHMOUTH

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfPWiQ3TKOM

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

The Police (not the band this time)

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

umm im an adult mmkay

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Morrissey. Nothing is sadder than a complete lack of self awareness. Also plz dont be sad if you’ve been that sexy for that long.

LeMaire Lee

LeMaire is a Philadelphia based stand-up.

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Best Cosby: Jell-O spokesman, Kodak spokesman, New Coke spokesman, Partnership For A Drug Free American spokesman or Ghost Dad?

Jell-O Spokesman. I just like Bill Cosby on TV.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen this year?

The Bill Cosby thing. That’s sad to me.

What was the scariest thing about 2014?

ISIS, like the thought of an actual evil organization is terrifying

R.L. Stine: Goosebumps or Fear Street?

Goosebumps.

Who’s sadder: Morrissey or you?

Never listened to Morrissey, but his sadness is legendary. Morrissey

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