NYC Best Weekend Bets ⋆ BYT // Brightest Young Things

Hi, and welcome to a MOTHER EFFING LONG WEEKEND, THANK GOD! If you’re chomping at the bit to begin your holiday adventures (as am I), then let’s not waste any time and get (Bert Mc)CRACKIN’. But first, I want to devote this edition of BWB to Naomi Campbell, whose birthday is today (5/22), and who I fear might hurl a cellular device at me if I fail to acknowledge her greatness. Also, here is a quick rundown of things you may have missed on BYT this week:

First, here are all your deepest astrological questions, answered by Oprah GIFs.
And speaking of Oprah, we tried out the Oprah chai tea at Starbucks this week, and it hurt our feelings due to expectations vs. reality.
Meanwhile, if you plan to get caught up on TV this weekend, here are recaps for Game of Thrones and Mad Men.
And if you want NEW TV suggestions, here’s our guide to this week’s Netflix releases.
Finally, if you’re lookin’ to inject some serious #ART into your weekend, here’s a map of the best events ‘n openings.

AND HERE WE GO:

So long as you think you can stay up way past your bedtime tonight, I think Glasslands is gonna be a solid bet; Chad Valley and Glass Gang will be doing DJ sets FO’ FREE, but we’ll have to wait until doors open at 11:59. (Zzzzzzzz danger zone.)
Prefer something a bit earlier? Hit up the Cass McCombs show at Music Hall of Williamsburg; doors are at 8 and the show is at 9. Tickets’ll cost you sixteen bucks in advance, eighteen day of show, so get them EARLY, Y’ALL.
OR if you don’t mind heading up the road a bit to Rough Trade, then you might be interested to know that Superhuman Happiness and American Royalty will be playing a show for $10 in advance, $12 day of show.
My PERSONAL vote goes to Bowery Ballroom, though, ’cause The Pains of Being Pure At Heart will be playing a show with Fear of Men AND Ablebody for a very reasonable $15.
And if you’re willing to part with twenty-five bucks to catch a Simian Mobile Disco DJ set, then you’ll probably want to hit up Output this evening instead, ’cause that’s happening.

Or just be a sedentary Anglophile over at Videology tonight, ’cause they’ll be hosting another round of Telly Thursdays, aka all the best British shows for free from 5-7pm, all for YOU.
More of the film persuasion than the television one? Head on over to MoMA, then, ’cause they’ve got TWO winning screenings this evening: A Woman Is A Woman AND Duck Soup.
Of course, if books are more your jam, then you should PROBABLY pop on by Strand Books this evening for a chance to hang out with Andrew WK as he talks to Phillip Crandall about I Get Wet.
OR just swing through the Bell House tonight for a mega-Morrissey birthday party featuring all the tribute tunes you can handle starting at 9pm (doors at 8) for twelve bucks in advance, fifteen at the door.

Firs things first: provided you’re into the idea of doing Brooklyn things tonight, you MIGHT want to hit up Glasslands for some ultra-dreamy psych tunes by Triptides for just ten bucks.
And if you think you can stick around Glasslands for the late gig tonight (doors at 11:30), then I’m also going to suggest you hit up Max Cooper for some good old fashioned electro at the price of fifteen dollars.
HOWEVER, just around the corner at Cameo Gallery we’ve got an EXCELLENT lineup in Twin Wave and Teen Girl Scientist Monthly, so grab yourself an eight dollar ticket in advance, or a ten dollar one at the door.
But if you can figure out how the eff to get to Canandaigua, you might be interested to know that Death Cab for Cutie will be playing a show there tonight; grab advance lawn seats for $25, or $30 day of show.
Yeah, didn’t think that last one was super plausible anyway, SO just reset your internal GPS with Silent Barn as the end destination for a Ricky Eat Acid show. (Cost is still TBA.)

Not your jam? Perhaps pop on over to Union Hall tonight, where Jean Grae will be CHILLIN’ TO THE MAX with Justin Warner (of Food Network Star and Rebel Eats) for $8.
OR if you’re not into THAT, you can STILL hit up Union Hall to enjoy an evening filled with nostalgic tunes of the nineties via a massive SINGALONG, which’ll cost you ten bucks to attend.
Or MAYBE you should just unwind over at Videology from 5-7pm, ’cause they’ll be hosting another round of Thank God It’s Friday ft. all the family sitcoms you can handle for all of zero dollars.
Not into that? Maybe set your sights on IFC Center instead, where they’ll be screening 1. PURPLE RAIN (purple rain), and 2. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home this evening, and IT WILL BE GOOD.

If you would like your ears to be filled with some grimey punk tunes tonight, then look no further than Glasslands for an Iceage show; tickets are twelve bucks in advance and fourteen day of show, so get ‘em QUICK.
Also pretty super into the lineup for the late show, which features DJ sets by Jupiter AND Escort, and will set you back ten dollars in advance, twelve day of show. (I repeat, GET ‘EM QUICK.)
Of course, we’ve ALSO got a Oneohtrix Point Never show happening at Music Hall of Williamsburg just around the corner, so you might want to consider shelling out $23 in advance, $25 day of show for that.
Or if you’re trying to get your music done early, then probably hit up Mercury Lounge this evening for an Air Traffic Controller show for ten dollars in advance, and twelve day of show.
Are you just the poorest of the poors, though? Probably set your sights on Bizarre in Bushwick tonight, where you can catch Eli Escobar and Lauren Flax for all of ZERO DOLLARS.

OR if you’re in the mood for some day drankin’, be sure to hit up American Whiskey this afternoon from 1pm-2pm; entry is free, AND there’s an hour-long open bar happening. (Amazing.)
Personally I think we should all just be MEGA-CULTURAL over at MoMA, ’cause they’ll be hosting a screening of L’Avventura, which will be GREAT for our vintage cool kid street cred or whatever.
UNLESS you just so happen to not be mega-pale like me, in which case you should spend your whole day at a Rockaway Beach bash, which’ll feature plenty o’ tunes and free admission w/ RSVP.
Or if you feel like spending your day with the worst humans on the planet, then probably head to Electric Daisy Carnival instead, where you can catch people like Alex Metric and Bassnectar today.

We left off yesterday on a terrifying note, which was the idea of going to EDC. So, let’s pick up where we left off and suggest you grab tickets for DAY TWO, featuring acts like Calvin Harris, Tiesto and Skream.
Did that sound like a bad time? Here’s an even worse one: attending the annual Brooklyn zombie crawl, where people dressed as zombies will scare the shit out of bystanders all day long.
Wasabassco’s is also going to be doing an ultra-weird party at the Bell House tonight with the theme of superheroes vs. villains, so if you’re into burlesque or whatever, be ready to cough up $20.
There’s also the opening event for DAYLIFE, which (provided you RSVP via Flavorpill) will get you free entry before 10pm ($5 after that) AND a free drink AND lots of tunes. Not a bad deal.

Of course, if you’re a big Ted Leo fan, then you’ll be glad to hear that you can catch him AND Allison Crutchfield over at Silent Barn this evening provided you’re willing to part with a mere ten bucks.
Speaking of live tunes, we can also always hit up reliable old Glasslands for a show lineup that features FRAME, HITS, Sundelles and The Colorines for ALSO ten dollars.
OR just down the road at Baby’s All Right we’ve got a show from Grand Resort happening (with Gold Lake, Lazyeyes and Andrew Keoghan) which will ALSO ALSO set us back ten bones.
And let’s not forget the weekly jazz brunch that goes down at Hotel Chantelle, largely because the cocktails will only run you between $0.92 and $3.92, which is INSANE.

Look, I can’t lie to you; there’s not a fuck ton of stuff happening today, because (like you) everyone just wants to take advantage of a BBQ-filled holiday. SO, find yourself a BBQ, yeah? Or just sleep all day after you wake up at the crack of dawn to catch Austin Mahone on the Today Show…
Too early for you? UNDERSTANDABLE. Instead, catch a show from Phantom Family Halo and Wild Leaves starting at 8pm at Baby’s All Right. It’ll cost you zero dollars to attend!
And SPEAKING of free shows, we’ve got ANOTHER ONE happening a ways up the road at Rough Trade this evening! And who’s gonna be the musical guest of honor? Good old Mas Ysa!

Of course, if THAT ain’t your scene, then probably head to Governor’s Island for a Paul Van Dyk show, but be prepared to part with a whopping FIFTY DOLLARS to attend, yeah?
Too poor? So am I, so I vote we get our beats over at Cielo tonight for Deep Space, which (as usual) is free before 11pm w/ the e-flyer, AND the first hour (10-11pm) features an open vodka bar.
And if you’re too lazy and/or SUCH A PALE KID, then you’ll likely want to make a beeline for Videology this afternoon, where they’ll host another round of MACABRE MONDAY fo’ free.

WOW SO MUCH STUFF! If I’ve failed to mention anything near and dear to your ears, please feel free to internet-strangle me in the comments and/or on Twitter. BYE!