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So this weekend has A LOT going for it; from an eff ton of art-related festivals ‘n events to Vulture Fest (featuring all of our favorite people on the planet, including but not limited to cast members of Orange Is the New Black, which will be our GIF theme, obviously), it’s going to be tough choosing. THAT is why we’re here to help you narrow down your options, and also to remind you to CALL YOUR MOM, ‘CAUSE IT’S MOTHER’S DAY ON SUNDAY. (You’re welcome.) Before we get into all that, though, here’s some stuff you may have missed on BYT this week:

  • First, we interviewed the inimitable Buster Poindexter, and it was pretty much amazing.
  • We also taste-tested Phrosties, and they phucking sucked. HERE’S WHY.
  • AND we weighed in on Kim and Kanye’s marriage with this GIF play-by-play
  • Meanwhile, we also anticipated that you might not be planning to leave your couch this weekend at all, hence your weekly Netflix recommendations.

THURSDAY

  • Shlohmo’s gonna be playing a show at Bowery Ballroom tonight, so be sure to save those pennies and grab an advance ticket for fifteen bucks, or else you’ll have to part with eighteen day of show.
  • But maybe you’re a Joseph Arthur SUPERFAN, in nwhich case you might be interested to hear he’ll be performing the songs of Lou Reed at City Winery for between $22 and $32 tonight.
  • Of course, if you’re more into Brooklyn or whatever, then you should probably gather fifteen dollars worth of change from the couch cushions to catch Pharoahe Monch at Littlefield.
  • Want something that’s not that and/or is a little cheaper? Hit up The Wick tonight (also in Brooklyn) for a super worthwhile show by Marnie Stern that’ll set you back twelve bucks in advance, fourteen day of show.
  • PLUS we’ve got a very affordable (read: FREEEEEE) show from Mystic Braves happening late at Baby’s All Right tonight, and as previously mentioned, we’re kind of super into them, so GO.

  • Meanwhile, to get your free booze on tonight you should kick things off at Royal NYC (127 4th Avenue) for the 5th Annual NFL Draft Viewing Experience, which will feature free drinks from 7-8pm tonight. Email [email protected] to RSVP.
  • Or just be a lazy Anglophile over at Videology tonight, ’cause they’ll be hosting another round of Telly Thursdays, aka all the best British shows for free from 5-7pm, all for you.
  • If you HAVE got money to spare, though, then hit up Union Hall for tonight’s Tell the Bartender Live (a storytelling podcast) ft. Wyatt Cenac, Mara Wilson (yes, Matilda) and others. Tickets are $10.
  • And let’s please not forget that today marks the beginning of 2014′s Outsider Art Fair. Featuring an insane line up, the fair will be from May 8-11 with the opening happening from 8-11. In Chelsea,clicky the linky for details.
  • AND it’s the kickoff for Pulse Art Fair as well; tickets to this one will set you back twenty bones for a day pass, OR just go for the mega-value, which is a twenty-five dollar ticket good for all four days.
  • Wanna continue w/ the art events? How’s about SOME RUSCHA?! Head up to the UES to Gagosian Gallery for a collection of the main man’s photos and prints. Opening 6-8 and on view until June 14th.

FRIDAY

  • First, today marks the start of the Frieze Art Fair at Randall’s Island Park, so if that sounds like it’s your jam, snag yourself a day pass starting at forty-three bucks a pop. (The event runs until the 12th, so YOU GOT TIME, GURL.)
  • And if you’re trying to go a little more underground on this one, probably hit up the PooL Art Fair instead (which also kicks off today), ’cause it features an eff ton of unrepresented artists.
  • Musically, everyone’s favorite guy Har Mar Superstar will be playing Mercury Lounge this evening for just ten bucks in advance, twelve bucks day of show, so be sure to grab tickets RIGHT NOW.
  • BUT if you don’t mind heading a bit uptown to Terminal 5, then you might be interested to hear that Mogwai will be playing a show tonight for $27.50 in advance, $30 day of show.
  • OR if you’d prefer to keep things going downtown, head to Le Poisson Rouge on Bleecker for an evening with Pantha du Prince, tickets to which will cost eighteen dollars in advance and twenty-two day of show.

  • Just tryna do Brooklyn things tonight? Hit up Rough Trade for a show by EMA, Downtown Boys and Owel; tickets will set you back a very reasonable fifteen bucks, so get ‘em while the gettin’s good.
  • Or if you’re about that QUEENS LYFE, then most definitely head to Knockdown Center with thirty-eight bucks in hand; MIA will play a show with A$AP Ferg tonight, and IT’S GONNA BE REAL GOOD.
  • But are you a lady? Are you undaunted by the idea of attending a club night at Santos Party House that guarantees free alcohol for you (and only you) until midnight? GREAT! ‘Cause that’s happening tonight.
  • And if that sounds as horrifying to you as it does to US, then maybe head a little farther uptown to Hauser & Wirth gallery for LA based artist Sterling Ruby’s “SUNRISE SUNSET.” Opening reception from 6-8 for this collection of large-scale multi-media work. #CULTURAL
  • Of course, if you’re too lazy for all of that nonsense, then just hit up a free movie screening in Brooklyn called We Are the Best, which is about an all-girl Swedish punk band in the 80s. #HARDCORE

SATURDAY

  • TONIGHT we’ve got an album release party happening at Mercury Lounge for Stone Cold Foxes, who’ll be joined by Sean McVerry for a mere ten dollars per ticket. GET IT, GURL.
  • I’m gonna go ahead and vote we hit up Glasslands in Brooklyn tonight, though, because Blue Sky Black Death will be playing there this evening for twelve bucks in advance, fifteen day of show.
  • And if you’d just like to dance your face off, then you should PROBABLY pop up the street to Cameo Gallery instead, where The Rapture DJs will be afoot ALSO for twelve bucks in advance, fifteen day of show.
  • Speaking of DJ sets, if you’re prepared to part with between twenty and twenty-five bucks to catch Alice Glass (the Crystal Castles one) DJ 88 Palace tonight, then you should most definitely do so.
  • For something a little folkier, prettier and cheaper, though, head on over to Rockwood this evening, ’cause our amigos Bird Courage will be playing a show and it’ll be SUPER GOOD.
  • Too poor? Provided we RSVP, we can be having THE TIME OF OUR LIVES at Union Hall tonight, where they’ll be spinning classic East Coast and West Coast hip-hop for the reasonable price of zero dollars.

  • And if THAT ain’t your jam, traverse the Brooklyn non-wilderness to land yourself a spot at tonight’s round of Brooklyn Night Bazaar tunes ft. Ava Luna, Heliotropes and others.
  • Speaking of Brooklyn, you should most definitely swing by the Brooklyn Flea Record Fair today, which is going to feature more than fifty vendors and will be SO GOOD.
  • Or if you’re poor AND hungry, and just so happen to FUCKING LOVE HOT DOGS, then head to Papaya King on St. Marks today for the joint’s one year anniversary party, featuring $1 hot dogs and live music.
  • But maybe you’re just tryna inject a little art into your Saturday, in which case  take a trip to MoMA during regular hours to check out rad new Lygia Clark exhibit “The Abandonment of Art, 1948–1988.”
  • I’m gonna vote we take full advantage of Vulture Festival’s amazing lineup, which includes a screening of Fort Tilden today to be followed by a one hour complimentary Stella Artois reception, all for $14.

SUNDAY

  • First, it’s pretty critical that we head on over to Milk Studios for mother effing BRUNCH WITH RUFUS WAINWRIGHT, where he’ll perform and talk to Julie Klausner while YOU eat food and drink drinks for just under $60. Kind of amazing.
  • And HOLY EFF, there’s also going to be a Pop Culture Trivia Night happening at Milk Studios (also as part of Vulture Festival) that’ll feature Crazy Eyes, Taystee AND Lorna from Orange Is the New Black. (YASSSSSS.) Tickets are $25 and will include two complimentary drinks afterwards.
  • Musically-speaking, all we need to worry about tonight is catch of Montreal and Dream Tiger at Le Poisson Rouge, where tickets will set you back twenty-five dollars. (Just save your pennies this weekend, yeah?)
  • We’ve also got another round of Chris Douridas’ SCHOOL NIGHT! tonight, featuring a performance by Nicky Blitz, a DJ set by Mister Sushi and EVEN MORE TBA! It’s all happening at Brooklyn Bowl fo’ FREE with RSVP.

  • PERSONALLY I think we should all just head over to Union Pool with donation money ready for this year’s edition of Swig & Swine, a charitable event that combines all you can drink cocktails with all you can eat pork. (CAN’T GO WRONG, PROBABLY.) Email  [email protected] to RSVP.
  • And/or if you’re more interested to spend your day learning about the homebrewing process, head on over to The Homestead at 67 Irving Plaza for a free talk and demonstration!
  • Of course, there’s a very real chance we’ll be too hungover to function at all today, so let’s just get settled in a dark movie theater for a screening of Beaches at Nitehawk Cinema, shall we?
  • Or if a spoonful of sugar’s more in your wheelhouse, then you’ll most definitely want to get yourself over to Fort Greene to BAM today for THE BEST EVER SCREENING OF MARY POPPINS.

WOW SO MUCH STUFF! If I’ve failed to mention something near and dear to your ears, then please feel free to digitally berate me in the comments and/or on Twitter. BYE!

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