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Guys, THANK CHRIST IT’S THE WEEKEND AGAIN! Seriously, this week has dragged on’n’on’n’on, and I, for one, am ready for all of the fun and debauchery that lies ahead INCLUDING but not limited to a mother effing Darren Aronofsky extravaganza at the Museum of the Moving Image ft. a screening of Black Swan. (YUSSSSS.)

But FIRST, some things you may have missed but definitely need this week:

  • FIRST we announced the April edition of One Step Beyond at the AMNH, and the lineup will feature Machinedrum, NGUZUNGUZU and Jubilee! Tickets are $25 in advance, $30 day of show, so GET ‘EM NOW.
  • Next, we’ve got your weekly dose of astrological questions ANSWERED by GIFs, this time of our favorite TV show TRUE DETECTIVE.
  • And in case you’re planning to couch it this weekend, we’ve ALSO got everything you need to know about the latest DVD and Netflix releases.
  • More into watching so-bad-they’re-actually-GOOD movies? Well, we’ve got you covered with that, too, with this guide to our favorite badly-good (goodly-bad?) flicks.
  • We know WE’LL be lazing it up as a result of mega-SXSW exhaustion, as evidenced from this epic recap of all the 2014 action.

AND NOW FOR ALL THE GOOD STUFF:

THURSDAY

  • FIRST, it’s mother effing MACARON DAY in New York City, so I highly recommend taking a gander at this macaron map to take full advantage of freebies because SUGAR.
  • And TONIGHT I vote we head on over to Videology, ’cause they’ll be screening The Blues Brothers as part of their Sound and Vision series for all of zero dollars.
  • If you happen to have EIGHT dollars, though, then maybe pop on over to the Housing Works Bookstore Cafe for another round of the Moth Storyslam, where YOU might get to speak in front of the audience.
  • ALTHOUGH, if you happen to be a major Ennio Morricone fan like I am, you might be interested to hear that BAM will kick off a three day stint of movies that highlight his musical genius starting TODAY in honor of his upcoming Barclays show on June 13th.

  • More into tunes, though? Probably pop on over to the Highline Ballroom, then, ’cause Sabina Sciubba (of Brazilian Girls) will perform her solo debut record tonight for $20.
  • We’ve got MEGA-CATCHY, MEGA-UPBEAT tunes from Evil Arrows tonight at Mercury Lounge, so grab tickets for $10 in advance, or be prepared to spend $2 more day of show.
  • Personally, though, I’m going to vote we all catch Ex Hex at Glasslands tonight with EULA and Household. Tickets are a mega-reasonable $12, so get ‘em now.
  • And if you can’t fork over the dough for that, then you might want to head to Hotel Chantelle tonight for some FREE music, plus $8 beer and shot specials for Transmission Thursdays.

FRIDAY  

  • Babeland’s opening its doors for a little shopping party tonight featuring free champagne and free goodie bags for the first fifteen guests, so if you’re feeling fresh out of sex toys, this might be for you!
  • Personally I vote we just stick it out in Brooklyn tonight for a FREE show by Anamanaguchi at the Brooklyn Night Bazaar, ’cause everyone loves them some chiptunes.
  • OR if you’ve got money to spare for live music, definitely check out round two of Ex Hex at Mercury Lounge this evening for the late show with Andrew Cedermark! Scrape together $12 from the couch cushions and you’re all set for a ticket.
  • Or if you’re a Brooklynite and fear crossing over the East River, then probably just stick it out at Rough Trade tonight for a $10 in advance / $12 day of show Rathborne gig.

  • My personal vote not-so-surprisingly goes to Glasslands tonight as Woman’s Hour will be playing a second show for the week there alongside Jenny Hval for just $10.
  • Just tryna dance tonight, though? WELL, all you need to do is pound a coffee or two to hit up the late show at Glasslands ft. Cassian, a Body Language DJ set and MORE for $10.
  • Too poor? Catch a FREE show by Anamanaguchi at the Brooklyn Night Bazaar, ’cause everyone loves them some chiptunes, especially when they’re completely complimentary.
  • And if you’re just too lazy to worry about any of the above, just be sure to head to Museum of the Moving Image for a screening of Requiem for a Dream, yeah?

SATURDAY

  • Got $15 for some lovely and mysterious tunes, though? Catch Elysian Fields at Rough Trade alongside Melvin Van Peebles Menage A Trois and The Aspiring Me.
  • Too poor? Just get there a little earlier today (around 2pm unless you want shit signed at 1:30pm) for a Talib Kweli show that is one hundred percent FREE!
  • And while we’re talking about free things with music involved, the Brooklyn Night Bazaar will ALSO be playing host to a mother effing CHERYL PARTY, which are ALWAYS the best, even more-so when they’re free.
  • But just in case you DO have some pocket change left over, just head on down the road for a super worthwhile Beast Patrol show at Glasslands. Tickets are $10 a pop.
  • Slash can we just talk about how Macaulay Culkin and the Pizza Underground are going to play a show at Baby’s All Right tonight for fifteen bucks? ‘Cause that is definitely amazing.

  • Too poor? While you’ll definitely have to cough up some dough to shop at the Northern Grade + GQ menswear pop-up market at powerHouse Arena today, it’s free admission, and should be good window shopping / potential husband-finding.
  • Ummmm but hold the phone, ’cause there’s going to be a CHERYL PARTY happening over at the Brooklyn Night Bazaar this evening, and it’s guaranteed to be amazing.
  • Plus we’ve got a Hitchcock double-whammy at the Film Forum today, featuring screenings of The Birds AND Psycho. Prepare to be uber-creeped, you guys.
  • Too #HEAVY for you? Head to Nitehawk Cinema instead for screenings of Muppets from Space and/or The Wiz and you’ll be all sorted mentally for the most part.

SUNDAY

  • Couldn’t get enough menswear yesterday at the Northern Grade + GQ pop-up at powerHouse Arena? Well YOU’RE IN LUCK, ’cause it’s open for round two today from noon until 7pm.
  • We can also hit up 67 Irving Plaza for the spring launch of the Bedford Cheese Shop’s gastronomy zine, which focuses on culinary traditions in Germany and Bavaria this time.
  • Legitimately the only thing I’ll recommend to you tonight MUSICALLY is getting to Glasslands, ’cause La Femme will play some French surf jams for $12. (See also: they are ACTUALLY the greatest act of all time.)
  • Of course, if you’re like me, you’ll likely want to spend THE ENTIRE DAY curled up inside a dark movie theater, in which case we ought to kick things off with a screening of Casino at BAM.

  • Then, of course, we ALSO have the privilege of catching a screening of Some Like it Hot at the Museum of the Moving Image today, which is just about the greatest thing ever.
  • But if old movies ain’t your jam, you can ALSO catch a screening of Black Swan (as evidenced by ALL OF THE GIFs) at Museum of the Moving Image today. #REJOICE
  • And if you’re like me and feel SO MUCH FEAR watching Natalie Portman get mega-crazy on screen, then just watch The Wrestler (also at Museum of the Moving Image) today instead.
  • But if you’d like to take a SLIGHTLY more active role, then head to Union Hall this evening for another edition of Our Princess Is In Another Castle, this time featuring NBA Jam as the video game selection for March Madness!

WOW SO MUCH STUFF! If I’ve failed to mention something MUY IMPORTANTE, then please feel free to digitally berate me in the comments and/or on Twitter. BYE!

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