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Oh hey, weekend! Didn’t see you there! (Just kidding, I totally saw you there.) It has been a week of praying and wishing, but you have finally arrived and you are SO GOOD! For instance, why are three thousand amazing movie screenings happening? Mean Girls? Jurassic Park? Battle Royale? Clueless? ALL OF THEM?! Well, we won’t ask questions, we’ll just be thankful and excited for all of the following whilst rolling with our homies:

THURSDAY

  • First, I vote we hit up Glasslands for a VERY reasonable $12 Maribou State show. Accompanying talent includes a Heathered Pearls DJ Set. #BONUS
  • BUT if you haven’t allowed BRONCHO to infect your stone-cold heart yet, you’ll have a chance to do it at Cameo Gallery this evening for a mere $8!
  • More into Manhattan? The Chain Gang of 1974 will be playing what’s CERTAIN to be a sold out show at Mercury Lounge for just $10.
  • PLUS we’ve got another round of James Blake at Terminal 5 tonight, which will cost us $32 in advance OR $35 day of show. Tickets are likely to sell out, so GRAB ‘EM.
  • But getting back to Brooklyn, can we please just discuss how the mother effing B-52s are set to play Brooklyn Bowl tonight?! Tickets are $52. #STEEP #WORTHIT

  • Speaking of #STEEP, Ed Sheeran‘s also playing another show at Madison Square Garden tonight, and while it’s not sold out tickets are going to set you back $50.
  • Let’s take it back down a notch, though; Com Truise will continue a residency of DJ sets over at The Paper Box, and I think we should all fork over $10 to check it out.
  • Then, in the free department, we’ve got (are you ready for this?) FOUR HOURS OF OPEN BAR, all thanks to the people at Twelv Magazine who are celebrating their fourth issue launch.
  • And SPEAKING of free drinks, we can also snag some complimentary booze from 10-11pm this evening over at Cielo, with tunes being provided by Coco Drills!
  • But how’s about another day of movie marathonin’ over at Videology? Today we can look forward to back-to-back Sam Peckinpah films!
  • Personally I think we should pile in the metaphorical minivan and catch a free round of Baby Ketten Karaoke at the Bell House, which will feature all those obscure songs you won’t find elsewhere.

FRIDAY

  • We’re pretty amped on Spindrift over here, and if you agree, you’ll want to make a beeline for Glasslands tonight to catch the band live.
  • We’re also pretty 100% convinced you need to catch Widowspeak AND Pure Bathing Culture over at Bowery Ballroom tonight for $15.
  • OR if you’re a big Titus Andronicus fan, you’ll be happy to hear they’re playing a show at Terminal 5 this evening for twenty-five bones.
  • BUT we can also catch a very free show by Jenny Owen Youngs this evening over at BAM in the Peter Jay Sharp building, which sounds HELLA WORTH IT.

  • And HOLY EFF, GUYS. Videology really hit the jackpot with its marathon movie screenings today, ’cause it’s all about JOHN WATERS‘ FILMS! #YES
  • SPEAKING of amazing film programming this evening, let’s PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make a beeline for Nitehawk, ’cause they’re screening Battle Royale.
  • PLUS Clueless is screening at mother effing Sunshine Cinema tonight, which pretty much wins in terms of the entire history of the world.
  • If all of that is too lowbrow for you, though, I think you ought to hit up FIT’s thirteenth fashion symposium, A Queer History of Fashion! The lineup sounds amazing and MEGA educational.

SATURDAY

  • For daytime times, I think we should try to hit up Mt. Carmel Church and/or the Knitting Factory for Comic Arts Brooklyn, aka a FREE annual festival that celebrates (as you may have guessed) COMICS.
  • And later, there’s no way anyone should ever pass up the chance to see Diarrhea Planet live, so mark your calendars to catch ‘em at Glasslands for just $10 tonight.
  • BUT if that ain’t your jam, we should also consider heading into Manhattan for a Kate Nash show, which will only set us back $25 in advance!
  • PERSONALLY I think we should head on over to the Brooklyn Night Bazaar to catch Lady Lamb the Beekeeper with Ski Lodge AND Pearl and the Beard.

  • But I think the real winning situation today is happening at none other than Videology; they’ll be showing a FREE SCREENING of mother effing Jurassic Park.
  • And while we can catch ANOTHER screening of Battle Royale at Nitehawk, they’re also hosting screenings of Mean Girls, WHICH IS SO FETCH.
  • And there’s ALSO an open bar setup happening at Copia this evening, so if you want to go, sign up for an account and RSVP to [email protected]
  • Then again, there’s ALSO a party being hosted by the Japan Society that’ll feature futurism, celestial sounds, and (are you ready for this?) SPACE GEISHAS! #AMAZING

SUNDAY

  • PRETTY MILDLY OBSESSED WITH LUDWIG PERSIK, guys. Which is why I’m going to vote we hit up Mercury Lounge to catch a live performance tonight for $10!
  • BUT we can also catch mother effing Cocorosie AND The Chain Gang of 1974 at Brooklyn Bowl tonight for FREE as part of Chris Douridas’ School Night series.
  • Speaking of free music, we can even RSVP to catch Treasure Fingers this evening over at Slake on West 30th! Admission is zero dollars before midnight.
  • Feelin’ lazy and hungover, though? Videology’s the place to be, then, ’cause they’re hosting a free screening of Fantastic Mr. Fox as part of their “Kids Club” series. (Whatever, I’m totally a kid.)

  • And/or if you couldn’t get enough Mean Girls yesterday, you’ll probably want to hit up Nitehawk Cinema again for round two of total fetchness.
  • We’re also pretty into the whole postponing a hangover thing, in which case we should hit up BatHaus for an evening of free booze and free snacks!
  • But if a burlesque extravaganza is more your jam, you’ll probably want to hit up the Bell House for Wasabassco’s 9th anniversary party, featuring an eff ton of weird performances.
  • I bet that’s what Anthony Weiner would enjoy that last thing, a character trait that’s sure to be touched upon in the Weiner Monologues at Access Theatre; it finishes its run today, so be sure to get tickets before time’s up!

SO MUCH. Did I omit anything that’s you super care about? If so, please feel free to digitally berate me in the comments and/or on Twitter. BYE!

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