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‘SUP MOTHER EFFERS?! It’s the weekend, and you better believe we’re gonna party like there’s no tomorrow, ’cause it’s Bill Murray’s birthday on Saturday, and #CELEBRATEGOODTIMESCOMEON. Here we go!

But FIRST, I would just like to take a moment to tell you all about our spooktacular Halloween party R.I.t.E. at the Brooklyn Masonic Temple! We will be presenting the festivities with CHERYL, and it’s bound to be a super weird, super great time. Tickets are $20, GET ‘EM WHILE THEY’RE HOT.

THURSDAY

  • First up, HOLY EFF! Laura Veirs is set to play Mercury Lounge this evening for what is sure to be an enthralling AND economical time; tickets are just $15.
  • OR, for just $5 more than that (read: $20, #MATH), we can catch a miraculously non-sold-out show by Deerhunter, Crystal Stilts and Blues Control at Webster Hall tonight.
  • What’s that? You just can’t get enough Willie Nelson & Family? Well, provided you’re willing to hand over another $65-$125, you can catch the action again at Capitol Theatre.
  • If you’re ready to spend that much money, though, I have to draw your attention to the fact that Yeah Yeah Yeahs will be playing a $30-$40 show at Barclays Center with Har Mar Superstar, which is AMAZING, and somehow not yet sold out.

  • Too pricey for your lil wallet? Don’t freak out, ’cause Glasslands exists, and there is a $10 Terry Malts show happening this evening.
  • You can also stand by at Glasslands for a DJ set by Bradford Cox of Deerhunter, which will begin at 11:30pm, and which will cost you another $10 to attend.
  • OR just keep it simple over at Cameo Gallery, where the amazing and talented Lucy Rose will be playing a show for a mere $12 a ticket.
  • DOUBLE OR, provided we’re into Strongbow Cider and tunes by Sky Nellor, we should hit up the Mercedes House for an evening of free music and booze. RSVP here: [email protected] w/ ‘[MeanRed RSVP]: Urban Orchard 9/19′ in the subject line.

FRIDAY

  • FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY! Let’s get it going over at Mercury Lounge, where Emily King will be playing a hugely worth it $12 show this evening.
  • OR if you got paid today, you might be willing to toss out the $35 it’ll cost you to catch City and Colours with Lissie and Lucy Rose at Rumsey Playfield…
  • But that’s hella expensive, so I think we should all hit up Pianos on the LES, where we can take full advantage of an $8 Clementine & the Galaxy show.
  • For $2 more, though, we could also zip on over to Le Poisson Rouge, where San Fermin (one of our all-time favorites) will play a $10 show tonight.
  • Not trying to hit up Manhattan tonight? It’s cool; Oh Land will play a $20 show at Music Hall of Williamsburg this evening. I would get tickets ASAP.
  • Or if you’re willing to traverse the Brooklyn non-wilderness and fork over between $35 and $50, you’ll be glad to hear that Vampire Weekend, Solange AND Sky Ferreira will be playing Barclays Center.

  • PERSONALLY I vote we go dance our little brains out over at Glasslands, where Tesla Boy will play with Night Drive for a mere $12.
  • BUT you could also theoretically use that same $12 to gain entry to a Jenny Owen Youngs show at Union Hall tonight, which is going to make our decision-making process H-A-R-D.
  • Too pricey? Let’s go get our dance grooves on fo’ FREE tonight at Le Bain; they’ll be playing host to Nick Hook, L-VIS 1990 and Bloom, so we should probably definitely go.
  • Or if we’re more into 1990s vibes, the Bell House has our hookup with a Boy Meets World themed edition of Party Like It’s 1999.
  • Then again, there IS an hour of complimentary booze to be had at 40/40 Club, so if we’re more into getting our drink on economically, that should be our main move.
  • We could also just hit up Tribeca Cinemas for a day of FREE screenings and discussions regarding fashion in film, which sounds hella fantastic, and we should def-o RSVP.

SATURDAY

  • First off, I think we should all fork over the $40 it costs to hit up Taste the West Village 2013; not only will we sample foods from 25 vendors, but we’ll also get a free pass to SoulCycle, which is basically knocking like $34 off the entry fee.
  • Next, I’m fully prepared to admit to all of you that tribute bands are not typically my jam, but an all-metal tribute to the Bee Gees sounds pretty effing great, and there’s one happening at Mercury Lounge for just $12.
  • My personal favorite of tonight’s options, though, would have to be Savoir Adore; they’re set to play Music Hall of Williamsburg for $12, and we should probably go.
  • Of course, just around the corner at Glasslands, Alex Winston will be playing a show that ALSO costs $12, so weigh your options carefully, yeah?

  • OR if you don’t even have $12 to begin with, scrape together a reasonable $8 and instead hit up Cameo Gallery, where Beach Day will be playing this evening.
  • No money AT ALL?! Be sure to RSVP to a Noisey and JanSport-presented event at Havemeyer Park, featuring a FREE performance by DIIV! (PS JanSport backpacks LOL!)
  • Or maybe you’d rather spend your life in a movie theater, in which case you should make a beeline for Sunshine Cinema, where they’ll be screening fan favorite Clue!
  • Personally I think we should all head over to Brooklyn Brainery, where we can spend some quality time makin’ friendship bracelets for a mere $8. CRAFT CITY!
  • And THEN let’s all hit up the Avant Garden WHISKEY PARTY! We can drink so much whiskey and listen to so much jazz and watch so much Charlie Chaplin!

SUNDAY

  • Okay, you hungover Henrys, we’ve got to get our energy levels back up to catch Austra and DIANA at Webster Hall this evening for $20.
  • Not your scene? Well, you’ll want to grab tickets ASAP to see this one, but CHVRCHES is somehow not yet sold out at Terminal 5, and tickets will only cost $25.
  • Personally I’m more into Brooklyn tonight, where Lady Lamb the Beekeeper will be playing a $12 show (with a full band!) at Glasslands.
  • OR get your music fix fo’ FREE at the ACE HOTEL! That’s right, Bird Courage will continue to carry out a September residency today for zero dollars.

  • We could also hit up the third annual Brooklyn Guitar Show at Brooklyn Bowl, where there will be an eff ton of guitars to buy, sell, trade ‘n strum.
  • But if books are your jam like they’re my jam, we should all pile into the metaphorical minivan and hit up Borough Hall & Plaza for the Brooklyn Book Festival! Free to enter, and should be AMAZING.
  • Or if we’re too hungover to function, we can also always hit up Freddy’s Bar for another round of Obsolete Cinema, this time featuring academy-themed flicks.
  • Not into that? Well SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND, aka the Museum of the Moving Image, where they will be screening Scarface. #TONYMONTANAFORPRESIDENT

WOW SO MUCH STUFF! If I’ve failed to mention something muy importante, please feel free to internet-berate me in the comments and/or on Twitter. BYE!

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