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Hi guys, aren’t you so glad it’s practically the weekend now? So that we can go forth and sweat in places that are not our cubicles? Oh man, me too! But mostly because there is a Spice World sing-a-long happening at the Bell House on Friday, which is basically the best thing I have ever heard, and also is what inspired our GIF theme today.

PLUS we’ve got two days of programming at the South Street Seaport this weekend for DREAM LOVER, a little get-together that goes from 5-8pm Saturday and Sunday, and which entails lounge-ready installations (PERFECT FOR HANGOVER CITY, NO?!) by Morgan H. West, and a dreamy DJ set by Erika Spring (Au Revoir Simone) to boot.

SO HERE WE GO WITH ALL OF THAT AND EVERYTHING ELSE:

THURSDAY

  • First, I’m going to say what everyone else is probably thinking, aka that it’s REALLY important we figure out a way to catch Gregory Alan Isakov at Bowery Ballroom; the show is sold out, but maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone will sell us a face-value ticket.
  • If for some reason that’s not your jam, though, we can also always catch a FREE Mikal Cronin show tonight as part of MoMA Nights…
  • PERSONALLY I’m going to vote we head over to Westway for a Savoir Adore / French Horn Rebellion show, because 1) it’s just $12, and 2) COMPLETELY NECESSARY.
  • Then again, if we’re willing to trek out to Huntington to the Paramount, we could also get summery with The Specials again…DECISIONS, DECISIONS.

  • In terms of what’s free, literally the only thing we need to worry about tonight is a free outdoor screening of Enter the Dragon at Brooklyn Bridge Park, part of the Syfy series this summer.
  • For a NOT-so free movie option, though (like the air-conditioned kind), we should probably zip on over to MoMA for The Hangover. (This is a good thing to watch before a weekend, ’cause we’ll never feel as bad about our poor decisions as these guys do!)
  • Or maybe we’d rather beat the heat the traditional fat person way, aka over at this edition of Yum’s the Word at LPR where we can stuff our faces with ice cream cake! Yes, that has my vote.
  • But HOLD THE PHONE, ’cause not only is there a free Anthony Attalla show at Cielo w/ RSVP, but there’s ALSO the added bonus of free booze from 10-11pm. (BOOZE UR BLOOZ AWAY!)

FRIDAY

  • Hope y’all got some sleep last night, ’cause we’re wakin’ up EARLY; we’ve got a shot to catch J.Lo perform fo’ FREE at the TODAY Show this morning, and obviously we’re going to make the most of it, RIGHT?!
  • And provided we’re not too mega-tired after that early morning experience, I’m going to suggest we hit up Mercury Lounge later tonight for a $10 show by KISSES and Rush Midnight!
  • JUST KIDDING, ’cause we’ll all DEFINITELY be at the Bell House for what sounds like the most amazing event of all time, aka a Spice World Sing-a-Long! #GIRLPOWERORSOMETHING
  • Not feelin’ that vibe? Well, might I suggest we check out SKATERS, Drowners and The Denzels at Bowery Ballroom for a reasonable $15? (That’s like $5 a band! #MATH)
  • UNLESS you’re more into the seapunk and/or Brooklyn scene, in which case you ought to head to Glasslands for a $5 Ultrademon show instead.
  • But WAIT WAIT WAIT, ’cause Lynyrd Skynyrd is playing Coney Island this evening for ZERO DOLLARS! That’s right, we can catch “Sweet Home Alabama” live for FREE!

  • OR we could theoretically just hang out in Manhattan until Andrew Wyatt (of Miike Snow) takes the stage at Webster Hall as a DJ with Sneaky Sound System for $15…
  • Then again, maybe we have SO MUCH MONEY TODAY, and we feel like spending over one hundred dollars to see Jay Z and Justin Timberlake at Yankee Stadium! Maybe!
  • No, no, we’re still super poor. I vote we swing by the Bell House for this year’s Myspace Party, featuring all the excellence of an era past. (Top 8 entourage optional.)
  • Or if you’re too tired to dance it out over in Gowanus, MAYBE you’d prefer to zone out with a screening of ParaNorman at Pier 46?!
  • Then again, you COULD always make this a beach day (provided you are blessed with summer Fridays) and head out to Rockaway Beach for a screening of Wreck-It Ralph!
  • But eff all those kids’ movies. We are adults, kind of, dammit! Let’s instead pop over to Nitehawk for a screening of one of the best movies EVER, aka Goodfellas, or if that’s not your jam, they’ve also got Night of the Living Dead as an alternative.
  • Of course, there’s ALSO always the option of catching The Big Lebowski at IFC Center. ‘Cause it’s Friday, and THE DUDE IMBIBES ABIDES.

SATURDAY

  • First, I know you’re hella broke after whatever you don’t remember doing last night, so come chill out with us FO’ FREE down at the South Street Seaport for DREAM LOVER! Erika Spring (Au Revoir Simone) will be doing a DJ set, and Morgan H. West will be hooking us up with lounge-ready installations PERFECT for any hangover!
  • What might be SLIGHTLY less ideal for a mega-hangover (though still just as free) is a Youngblood Hawke show out at the Surf Lodge in Montauk. Godspeed getting there LOL!
  • If you somehow miraculously DO still have some money hanging around today, though, you might consider MoMA’s PS1 Warm Up; the lineup features L-VIS 1990, Obey City and MORE.
  • Does that $15 ticket not even put a DENT into the riches in your bank account? WELL, maybe you would prefer to shell out a lot more to see Odd Future, Meek Mill and more tonight! Maybe!

  • Similarly, you could spend your vast fortune on a ticket to see night two of Jay Z and Justin Timberlake at Yankee Stadium! (We’re rich, there is nothing we can’t do LOL!)
  • OR if you’ve got some pent up aggression for reasons, then maybe you should scrape together $50 and head to a Tide detergent-sponsored TOMATO BATTLE. Yes, three hours of pegging strangers with tomatoes. (A REAL NIGHTMARINARA!)
  • We could also always take it mega-easy with a free screening of Wreck-It Ralph in the Bronx provided we didn’t see it yesterday and/or haven’t gotten sick of it and/or are still mega-broke.
  • Then again, it’s GARBAGE DAY at Videology, featuring the horribly bad / amazing VHS collections of Joel Barhamand (EverythingIsTerrible.com) and Jim VanBlaricum (Crappy Cinema Council)!
  • Personally I vote we hit up MoMA for the first of MANY screenings of the Harry Potter series, starting with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Too juvenile for your taste? They’re also showing Good Night, and Good Luck today. BOOM.

SUNDAY

  • Oh hey, hangover! Let’s stay in all day, and then TONIGHT, let’s head over to Mercury Lounge for a very reasonable $10 show featuring Friendly People, Blank Paper and The Dwells!
  • We can take that same $10 across state lines, though, ’cause Screaming Females are playing a mega-affordable show at Maxwell’s this evening. And while we’re there, we can just stick around to catch Ted Leo for $12. Not bad!
  • Too pricey and/or far away for your liking? Spend just $8 to catch Zachery Allan Starkey‘s show with a place both wonderful and strange at Cameo Gallery instead!

  • But as per usual, my go-to solution for a super hangover is to hibernate in urban caves, aka movie theaters. For starters, we can get our Harry Potter on again at MoMA, ’cause today they’re doing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets AND the Prisoner of Azkaban. Maybe we can sneak a little EXPECTO PATRONRUM into the theater too, KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’?!
  • “Do I look like a five-year-old, Megan?” I don’t know, I can’t see you from here. BUT, I assume you mean like, “I AM A GROWN-UP,” so I will tell you to go to a double-feature of The Godfather and The Godfather Part II at BAM instead.
  • OR if you are a semi-grown-up person who still enjoys channeling his or her inner fangirl, Habana Outpost will be screening Can’t Buy Me Love fo’ FREE. GETTIN’ STEAMY W/ YUNG MCDREAMY, Y’ALL.

WOW SO MUCH STUFF! If I forgot to mention something, please feel free to internet-berate me in the comments and/or on Twitter. (I will probably respond with something along the lines of, “SHOVE IT UP YOUR ZIG-A-ZIG-HA.) BYE!

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