Hello! I am currently pet sitting for friends, and a giant something just started flying around by the window! I do not know if it is a wasp or a flying cockroach because my eyesight is very not good, but either way, it seems like a bad deal! (So if I make any errors in the writing of this week’s Best Weekend Bets, please know it is because I am paralyzed with bug fear!)

Speaking of being crippled by anxiety, wowee! How many times did y’all wash your hands this week? Keep washin’ ’em, but don’t let coronavirus paranoia stop you from enjoying the weekend, ’cause there’s loads going on! From art shows to International Women’s Day celebrations to Purim parties to a show about 9/11 conspiracies explored through the music of Ashlee Simpson (our GIF theme, because honestly I’ll probably never get this opportunity again), there’s plenty to choose from the next few days. Before we get into all of the details, though, here’s what you might’ve missed on BYT this week if you were too busy trying to hold in a sneeze:

• If you didn’t take my advice LAST weekend, take the opportunity NOW to binge I Am Not Okay With This on Netflix, because it’s like THE BEST, and is basically feels like a hybrid of Sex Education and a queer version of Carrie!
• March is gonna rule real hard! Here’s what we’re hype on, including the She Believes Cup, which kicks off tonight with the USWNT facing off against England’s Lionesses! (V. NERVOUS BUT I HOPE WE KICK ENGLAND’S ASS.)
• Here is me giving you permission to forego formalities and opt not to shake my (or anyone’s) hand for a little while! (Shaking hands is kind of dumbly archaic, anyway!)
• We took a deep dive of the country music of TikTok!
• We also interviewed a female professional wrestler about how she has a mega dream job!
• In movie reviews, we thought Emma. and The Invisible Man ruled p. hard, and we concluded that Seberg is only worth it for Kristen Stewart. (Which is basically the same conclusion every queer woman on the planet has come to re: all of Kristen Stewart’s filmography.)

ALSO, GET TICKETS TO DEATH BECOMES US (our dope AF True Crime Festival) WHICH IS HAPPENING IN APRIL!

Thursday March 5

• For starters, clearly get to Nitehawk Prospect Park for a new round of Spoons, Toons & Booze After Dark! Tickets are $18.
• Unless you’re too busy at Nitehawk Williamsburg, where they’re screening Erin Brockovich! Tickets are also $18.
• In tunes territory, meanwhile, we’ve got an Alex Anwandter | Balún gig over at BRIC House Ballroom! Tickets are $18.
• You can also scope Silversun Pickups at Brooklyn Steel for $45…
• …plus Dermot Kennedy and SYML will be at Radio City Music Hall for $60+…
• …AND we’ve got Martha Wainwright and Addie Brownlee at LPR for $20!
• (You can also try your luck for resale tickets to sold out gigs from 070Shake and of Montreal! GODSPEED!)

• In terms of literary vibes, the 60th New York International Antiquarian Book Fair kicks off at Park Avenue Armory today and runs through Sunday! Opening night admission is a little steep at $60, but prices will drop to $25 GA starting tomorrow.
• Or for something slightly less antiquarian, Quan Barry will be at Books Are Magic to talk We Ride Upon Sticks w/ Emma Straub! Free and open to the public!
• And in visual art land, there are basically like 6000 things going on // for instance, SPRING/BREAK Art Show is in full swing now thru Monday! Tickets are $25-$50.
• The Armory Show is also going on, and that one’ll run you upwards of $35…
• …plus VOLTA is happening for $25+…
• …and Clio Art Fair’s opening reception is tonight, which’ll cost you $55, but free admission is available starting tomorrow…
• …AND Bushwick’s DORDOR Art Gallery will have its opening party tonight! (Free to attend, but expect a big turnout and a potential wait to get in!)

Friday March 6

• Kicking things off with LOLs, head to Union Hall for 1. a new round of Whiplash ($8-$10) and/or 2. Melissa Stokoski’s The Pieces: A 9/11 Conspiracy Told Through the Music of Ashlee Simpson w/ Fernanda Douglas and Larry Owens ($10-$12)!
• And moving into tunes-tunes, my top pick is Birkin Gainsbourg The Symphonic Starring Jane Birkin, Iggy Pop, Charlotte Gainsbourg and more! Tickets are $80+, but WORTH IT, IMO!
• For something slightly more wallet-friendly, though, just hit up TV Eye for a show from The Muckers and Breanna Barbara! Tickets are $10.
• Over in dance party territory, we’ve got Ladies First Dance Party Celebrating Badass Women of Music at Littlefield! DJ Colleen Crumbs’ll be spinnin’ tunes by everyone from Lizzo to Kathleen Hanna, plus there’ll be a photo booth, drink specials and more! Tickets are just $10, and 100% of the profits go to Planned Parenthood.

• And at House of Yes, House of Grooves will feature Eli Escobar all night long! Tickets are $20-$30 each.
• Meanwhile, Bonobo’s DJ set at Elsewhere is sold out, but Zone One will host a DJ set from Miami Horror, so…not exactly the same thing, but still p. tight! Tickets are $25.
• More into the intersection of music and comedy? Get to Joe’s Pub for another evening w/ Catherine Cohen! Tickets are technically $0, but there is a 2 drink and/or $12 food minimum!
• In terms of cinema, you can always get your weekend goin’ on a real upbeat note w/ a screening of Melancholia at Metrograph!
• More into TV? Pop over to 92Y for a special screening of HBO’s The Plot Against America ft. bonus convo with David Simon, Zoe Kazan, Winona Ryder, Morgan Spector and John Turturro! Tickets are $35.
• BUT MAYBE YOU JUST WANNA WATCH RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE, in which case head on over to C’mon Everybody for a free viewing party!

Saturday March 7

• Starting with tunes, we’ve got Destroyer at Brooklyn Steel for $30…
• …Sannhet, Dreamcrusher and ariadne are at Rough Trade for $15…
• …and Mija’s at Elsewhere for $20!
• But OBVIOUSLY head to Caveat in ye olde afternoon for a new round of The Crossword Show w/ Zach Sherwin! The guest solvers are Aparna Nancherla, Mike Brown and Jo Firestone, and tickets are $15-$20.
• Or exert your highbrow vibes at a 1pm screening of Persona at Metrograph, IDK!
• Later, def-o get to Littlefield for A Very Poppy Purim! That’s right, an interactive Purim party ft. parodies of your favorite pop hits, costumes, loads of drinking and more! Tickets are $15.

• It’s also the ‘N Sync edition of Party Like It’s 1999 at the Bell House! (As usual, free!)
• For something a little more “serious”, Good Room is hosting FIXED with Juan Maclean, Zombies In Miami (live), Thomass Jackson and more! Tickets are $15.
• Plus House of Yes is hosting HOUSE OF NO w/ Bryan Kasenic and Lauren Flax tonight! Tickets are $15-$35 each.
• For (even) queerer vibes, post up at C’mon Everybody for a new round of Yes Homo *A Queer Daytime Party* (FREE!) and/or a new round of YAS MAMA (not so free, but affordable at $10!), duh!
• Babycastles, meanwhile, is hosting Chaotic Interfaces Drag! Tickets are $8-$15.
• AND Yao Xiao will be at Bluestockings for the book launch party for Everything Is Beautiful, And I Am Not Afraid!

Sunday March 8

• Starting in the realm of comedy, probably get yourself to Union Hall for The Living Room: A Comedy of Grief By Amrita Dhaliwal & Gemma Soldati! Tickets are $15.
• We’ve also got Noah & Ester Have Guests w/ Noah Gardenswartz and Ester Steinberg ft. Roy Wood, Jr., Drew Michael, Shalewa Sharpe, Joe Zimmerman and Eman El-Husseini at Littlefield! Tickets are $10-$12.
• AND we’ve got Heebie Jeebies: An All Black Comedy Show at C’mon Everybody ft. Becca O’Neal, Yedoye Travis, Devon Walker and more! Tickets are $7.
• Speaking of C’mon Everybody, stick around for C’mon Queen afterwards! (No cover!)

• In terms of tunes, my top pick goes to Audiofemme’s International Women’s Day party at TV Eye ft. Ziemba, Parlor Walls, Lola Pistola and more! Free w/ RSVP!
• Meanwhile, we’ve got The Mystery Lights at Baby’s All Right for $16-$18!
• Plus Maya Hawke is postin’ up at Joe’s Pub! (Tickets are $25-$35, but on top of that you also need to factor in a 2 drink and/or $12 food minimum.)
• Or if you’re more into bookish feels, then hit up Strand Bookstore to catch Robert Desiderio in conversation w/ Judith Light about The Occurrence! Grab a $15 Strand gift card or a $27 signed copy of the book to attend.
• At 92Y, meanwhile, Barry Sonnenfeld will be talking Call Your Mother: Memoirs of a Neurotic Filmmaker with Jerry Seinfeld! Tickets are $40.