Well hello and welcome back to another W-E-E-K-E-N-D! (That spells “WEEKEND”!) In the event you’re not planning to be a mega-Scot by celebrating Burns Night on Saturday (which I am, specifically because my last name is Burns) or planning to be a mega-Aussie by celebrating Australia Day on Sunday (which I am, specifically because I really like Tim Tams), there’s plenty to keep you busy! For instance, it’s the Brooklyn Podcast Festival! You can take courses on astrology and kombucha! Harriet the Spy is screening at Nitehawk Prospect Park! (That’s our GIF theme, clearly!) We’re gonna get into all of that momentarily, BUT FIRST…here’s a bunch of D0P3 C0NT3NT you might’ve missed on BYT this week if you were too busy taking a brief moment to look up from the hellscape that is our planet 2020 to wonder if Brad and Jen will ever get back 2gether lol!

We made you a real nice, real comprehensive guide to ALL OF THE WORTHWHILE MURDER MYSTERIES that are available for your binge-watching pleasure RIGHT NOW! Check it out and never leave your couch again! (Also get some great ideas for future DIY homicides!)

I ate the plant-based Snoop Dogg sandwich from Dunkin’ Donuts, which allowed me to make a Randy Jackson joke!

Here are 24 of our favorite funny people on what they’re hype on for the new year, like “getting a cool animal skull that is big enough to wear over my real head when I join a cannibal fuel gang.” WOW SAME TBH!

It’s the Brooklyn Podcast Festival this weekend! Here is a friendly reminder that I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR F*CKING PODCAST!

Photos from the Rise and Roar Women’s Unity Rally at Foley Square last Saturday! (It was real cold!)

And here’s a British TV show where meat eating families raise baby barnyard animals for a few weeks, and at the end have to choose 1. to become vegetarians to spare the animals, or 2. stay meat eaters and eat the animals! (Wow, v. WTF!)

Thursday January 23

• It’s the Brooklyn Podcast Festival! Hit up Union Hall for Rude Tales of Magic Live and Bad Romance Live Show: Love Actually, both of which cost $10 a pop!
• Shifting away from ye olde podcast vibes, we’ve got Good God: A Live Comedy Event w/ Josh Gondelman, Cipha Sounds, Joe Pera, Shalewa Sharpe and more at The Sultan Room! Tickets are $12.
• It’s also Late Night Comedy Show at Time Out Market New York ft. Ophira Eisenberg, Shalewa Sharpe and more! Tickets are $5.
• In terms of tunes, we’ve got Peter Murphy doing a Bowie tribute at LPR tonight! Tickets will run you $55+, and you’d better get ’em quick since his residency has been selling out like crazy!

• Meanwhile, we’ve got Atmosphere posting up at Webster Hall tonight for $30!
• If cuttin’ a rug is more your MO, then get to House of Yes for this week’s Dirty Thursday, which is QUEENS O’ POP THEMED! Free all night!
• Or maybe you just wanna LEARN, in which case head to Catland for an introductory astrology course! Tickets are $15! (Now you’ll finally be able to decode Tinder bios or whatever!)
• Plus Brooklyn Brainery is hosting a course titled The Banana on the Wall: An Examination of Art and Controversy, and that one’ll run you $11!

Friday January 24

• For comedy, definitely get to Strand Bookstore! Queerotica Comedy is back at it again, and tonight’s lineup will feature Zach Zimmerman, Marcia Belsky, Josh Sharp and more! All you have to do is grab a $10 Strand gift card to attend // IT BASICALLY PAYS FOR ITSELF!
• And just down the road at Joe’s Pub we’ve got Catherine Cohen! Free and open to all, BUT, you do have to either buy two drinks or grab $12 worth of food. So bear that in mind. (Still a good deal!)
• Meanwhile, the Brooklyn Podcast Festival continues at Union Hall w/ Dave Hill: History Fluffer Live Podcast Taping! Tickets are $15.
• And at the Bell House we’ve got The Bechdel Cast ($15) and Great Moments In Weed History ft. special guest Ben Sinclair ($20)!
• Do you just love Noah Centineo with all your heart and soul, though? Probably get to 92Y for a chat with homeboy tonight about To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before and its upcoming sequel! Tickets are $40.

• Shifting over into tunes territory, we’ve got a $10 Field Mouse gig happening over at Alphaville!
• Plus Samantha Urbani, Sedona and Tara will be at Elsewhere for $10-$12…
• …and Hannah Cohen, Renata Zeiguer and Uni Ika Ai will be at The Sultan Room for $13-$15!
• More into Run River North? Swing by Rough Trade for an $18 gig!
• Just wanna d-d-d-d-dance? Get to C’mon Everybody for a new round of Balls Deep Disco! 11pm ’til late, $8-$10.
• Or if YE OLDE THEATRE is more your jam, get to Barnes & Noble’s UES location! The cast of Jagged Little Pill will celebrate the Atlantic Records release of their original cast recording, “JAGGED LITTLE PILL (ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST RECORDING)” w/ an in-store performance and signing.

Saturday January 25

• Kicking things off on a cinematic note, you can catch a $15 brunch screening of Harriet the Spy at Nitehawk Prospect Park! (And if you miss it today, just go tomorrow! Also have you ever noticed that Harriet the Spy is kind of dark!)
• (And at Nitehawk Williamsburg, you can catch brunch screenings of You’ve Got Mail and/or Anaconda today and tomorrow!)
• Moving into literary territory, Chuck Palahniuk will be signing copies of Consider This at Strand Bookstore! Admission is a $27 copy of the book for homeboy to sign for you.
• In terms of continuing the Brooklyn Podcast Festival mania, you can hit up Union Hall for The Unofficial Expert Live and Reply Guys Live! The former will run you $10-$15, while the latter is $10-$12.

• And YA GOTTA get to the Bell House for Martinis and Murder ($20-$50), Mission to Zyxx ($15) and/or Secret Keepers Club ($20)!
• Meanwhile, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching! Get to C’mon Everybody for a new round of Young Hot Sluts: A Matchmaking Show! Tickets are $12-$15 each.
• For queer times, head to Caveat! Thank You For Coming Out will celebrate its second season launch with a special live recording, including musical performances from surprise guests! Tickets are $15-$20.
• More into dance vibes? Get to House of Yes for Elevation’s season opening party! Tickets are $20-$30.
• AND Hart Bar will host a special Bowie edition of Feeling Gloomy tonight! Tickets are $6-$8.

Sunday January 26

• If you’re in the mood for LOLs, swing by Littlefield for a new round of Comedians You Should Know ft. Sam Jay, Chris Redd and Rachel McCartney! Tickets are $8-$10.
• But since it’s STRAYA DAY, head to Caveat for True Blue: A Comedy Show All About Australian Shit! Tickets are $12-$15.
• In terms of dance vibes, we’ve got an INXS tribute happening at Pianos tonight ft. a live set from Adios Ghost! Tickets are $5-$8.
• More into the convergence of art and tunes? Get to the Brooklyn Museum for the final day of yasiin bey: Negus! It’s a listening installation of yasiin bey’s latest studio recording, which will not be released in any digital or analog mediums, so make sure not to miss it!

• If you’re more in the mood for some hands-on knowledge, you can take a class called Kombucha 101 over at Farm.One! Tickets are $69+.
• Not into that in the slightest? Just close out your weekend on a Brooklyn Podcast Festival note! Union Hall will host Dr. Gameshow Live, and tickets are $10 each!
• Plus it’s The Bowery Boys: Landmarks Live! at the Bell House! Tickets are $20.
• Or maybe you just really care about the flippin’ GRAMMYs for some reason, in which case head to Syndicated for a free viewing party!