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WOW HI I AM V. TIRED STILL! HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ALL THAT! My only resolution was to have less existential crises in 2020 and beyond, but I think I have already failed in that category! ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway, I guess it’s the weekend again, hence we are about to discuss all your going out options RIGHT NOW! We’ve got brunch screenings of ET (our GIF theme, duh), loads of dance parties, the Golden Globes and MORE:

Thursday January 2

  • Starting on a cinematic note, you can catch a $7 screening of The Lighthouse at Syndicated! (Also Joker, but WHY WOULD YOU EVEN?)
  • More into t-t-t-t-tunes? Joseph Arthur’s at City Vineyard for $35!
  • Or if you just wanna dance, head to House of Yes for a new round of Dirty Thursday! It’s 90s night, and as always, IT’S FREE!
  • PLUS there’s an Ariana Grande dance party at Bowery Ballroom for $12-$20!
  • But maybe you’ve already embraced the robot revolution, in which case get to Caveat for an evening of A.I. lyric mashups and live-generated karaoke! The Songularity will run you $12-$15.
  • Or if it’s comedy you’re after, then head to EastVille for a $15 show from Janeane Garofalo and Jordan Carlos!

Friday January 3

  • If you find yourself in search of LOLs, head on over to Union Hall for a new round of WALT ft. Tracy Soren, Angela Palladino, Julian Edward Williams, Zach Zimmerman and more! Tickets are $8-$10 a pop.
  • Meanwhile, it’s the 14th annual 50 First Jokes at the Bell House! 50 comics! 1 show! Wowee! Tickets are $15-$20 each.
  • In tunes land, meanwhile, YA GOTTA go see the one and only Colleen Green at Alphaville! Tickets are $16.50.
  • We’ve also got Mister Lies playing Elsewhere’s Zone One for $10-$12…
  • …AND Flosstradamus will be at Webster Hall for $35!
  • Or just hit up House of Yes for their fourth anniversary celebrations tonight and tomorrow! Tickets are free before 11pm w/ RSVP, and afterwards they go up to $20.

Saturday January 4

  • For starters, you can hit up brunch screenings of ET at Nitehawk Prospect Park and When Harry Met Sally at Nitehawk Prospect Williamsburg today and tomorrow!
  • Witch School 2020 kicks off at Catland today! If you’re lookin’ to get REAL LEARNT, you can grab a $250 class package, or you can snag individual class admission for $20 per session.
  • You can also keep things real queer over at C’mon Everybody! There’s a new round of Yes Homo (America’s favorite daytime/gaytime party), and as always, it’s FREE!
  • Or if that feels too early for you, just get there (C’mon Everybody) for Yas Mama ft. special guest Gia Gunn! Tickets are $10.
  • For queer vibes AND comedy, hit up Union Hall for a new round of Open Flame w/ Pete Valenti, Sam Campbell and Simone Leitner! Tickets are $10-$12 each.
  • In terms of tunes, I’d recommend boppin’ back over to C’mon Everybody in between queer dance parties for a show from Slight Of, Will Orchard, Daisy the Great and So Sensitive! Tickets are $10.
  • You can also catch The Felice Brothers at Brooklyn Bowl for $20…
  • …plus we’ve got Kool Keith and Ced-Gee at Joe’s Pub for $25…
  • …AND Anthony Naples and Four Tet will take over Nowadays from 10pm on! Free entry before 11pm w/ RSVP, $10 after that.

Sunday January 5